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VIDEO GAMES: teen gets upset while playing Halo "why's this homo called master chef he never even cooks" "it's chief" "he's not even indian"                   PRUDE: teen admits he has never kissed a girl "dude how? you're 18" "cause i only kiss women...like YOUR MOM" "YOU GOT ME AGAIN BRO!" *bro5*                   BALLING: Teen takes girlfriend out to dinner "ight babe were gonna split the 60 pc nugget" "a milkshake? idk babe maybe next time"                   VIOLENT: teen in critical condition after being assaulted during a game of Mario Party "i told that piece of shit not to steal my star"                   OCTOBER: teens go on a haunted hayride *throws hay onto females* "HAY GIRL" *throws more hay* "i said...HAY GIRL" "hayyyy!" *gets laid*                   WONDERWALL: : teen learns guitar to pick up girls *strums a single G chord* "i'm gunna get so fucking laid"                   BAD HAIR DAY: Teen girl decides to leave school after realizing her hair is "disgusting" an eyewitness stated "i'd still fuck her"                   BANGIN: teen goes on date w/ cute female "how'd it go?" let's just say i'm *lowers shades* not a virgin anymore *still totally a virgin*                   CHECK UP: teen vists doctor "so are you sexually active?" no "any drugs or alcohol?" nope "i see. well my prognosis is you're a fuckin nerd"                   BAZINGA: teen breaks up with girlfriend for complicated reasons "she liked the big bang theory" "i just couldn't respect her as a person"                   EARLY BIRD: teen gets woken up "why would you wake me up at such an UNGODLY HOUR??" dude it's 10:30 "JESUS CHRIST ITS PRACTICALLY YESTERDAY"                   BUSTED: teens get pulled over on the highway "is there any marijuana in the vehicle?" "lol of course dude it's the HIGHway" "have fun kids"                   DISSED: teen engages in a rap battle "dude ur raps are toilet/if i pooped in ur mouth you'd prolly enjoy it" *entire school krumps to death*                   CHECK UP: teen vists doctor "so are you sexually active?" no "any drugs or alcohol?" nope "i see. well my prognosis is you're a fuckin nerd"                   EARLY BIRD: teen gets woken up "why would you wake me up at such an UNGODLY HOUR??" dude it's 10:30 "JESUS CHRIST ITS PRACTICALLY YESTERDAY"                   FML: a white teen was seen crying at starbucks this morning after they got her order wrong "here is your mocha frappe" "YOU'RE*"                   SCIENTIFIC: teen "experiments" with homosexuality *analyzes litmus paper* "just as i hypothesized.." *writes down data* "i'm gay"                   WHIP GAME: teens hit the go kart track "mushrooms and racing was a great idea" "i feel like mario" "haha steve is just staring at the wheel"                   SURVEY: 7 out of 10 teens agree that 3 out of 10 teens are "lame af" and "will not be sitting at our lunch table this year"

Sports

go and fetch yourself a protein shake


FIELD OF DREAMS - AND NIGHTMARES? TEEN SOCCER TEAM TURNS TURF INTO VEGETABLE GARDEN

 CONCORD, NC - In a surprising twist of events, Lakewood High's soccer team has taken the phrase "home field advantage" to a whole new level. The Warriors, a team known more for their school spirit than their skill on the pitch, decided that they could put their lackluster field to better use, turning it into a thriving vegetable garden.


BATTER UP... OR DOWN? TEENS TRY BASEBALL WITH BACKWARDS BATS AND BOUNDLESS SPIRIT

NOWHEREVILLE, USA - In a spectacle that would make even the most patient Little League coach cringe, the local high school in Nowhereville has seen an influx of teens trying their hands, quite literally, at America's favorite pastime - baseball. In a twist of events that could only be described as both comedic and cringe-worthy, these youngsters took to the field with bats held backwards.

Teen Baseball Legend

ONLYFANS LEAK REVEALS TEEN'S ASTOUNDING HIDDEN TALENT

In a sensational turn of events, the online world was set ablaze when an unexpected OnlyFans leak revealed a teenage sensation's jaw-dropping hidden talent in extreme sports. The leaked content, initially presumed to be of a scandalous nature, took a surprising twist as viewers were left in awe of the teen's awe-inspiring skills and death-defying stunts.

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6 REASONS SKATING IS SWEETER THAN EVER

In the past ten years skateboarding has transitioned from an underground activity/culture into a mainstream sport/phenomenon that is used to promote major brands like new balance, converse and nike. Skateboarding is also featured all over TV and social media on the regular basis. This may be taken for granted by many but for the longest time skateboarding had a similar following as Xtreme inline rollerblading. At a first glance the recent advancement of the sport’s popularity sounds like a great thing right? Well to most, except skateboarders are weird and don’t think like other athletes. Like many skaters I was originally opposed to the fact that my beloved skateboarding begun headed towards the path of “selling out”. Then one day I started to view the sport’s recent and growing mainstream appeal as a positive thing. If your one of those guys (or girls) who aren’t too happy with skateboarding’s growing popularity check out the top six reasons skateboardings recent mainstream-ism is a plus for anybody who skates.


1. Its safe to skate the hood


If your a street skateboarder that likes to film then you know damned well that some of the coolest spots to get footage at are found deep in the hood. The problem is when a group of white kids are in the middle of the hood with a few thousand dollars worth of camera equipment they usually get..... approached. Bad news is your still going to be approached (100%). Good news is your not going to get jumped or robbed anymore. More than likely they’ll ask you to show them a few tricks and they’ll ask to ride your board. Shit... One of them mite even know how to olley or pop shovit. Point is they are actually interested in your skateboarding now. Skateboarding is one of the few sports you cannot master in a short period of time and people give respect to those who do it. Especially in the hood. You can thank lil wayne for making your neighbor hood spots a little bit safer. Remember its the hood “DON’T GO THERE! Without your skateboard!

2. Skateparks are popping up everywhere.


Ten years ago in order to find a good skatepark you had to drive twenty miles at least. Nowadays every town has one, some towns are even leaving the old one and building a second more modernized park. In addition to smaller towns, most major cities have two, three or more skateparks. You can thank the mainstream popularity that builds local interest and awareness for the rise of these new parks.

3. Local Skate Shops are actually making $


Local shops are now making money in a business that isn’t set up for owners to get rich. This means shops will be hosting more contests, giving away more free shit and making prices cheaper than ever. Skate shops just like parks used to be few and far between, now there everywhere. Just don’t shop at a zummiez.

4. Girls Dig Skateboarders These Days


Back in the day skateboarders were looped into a similar category as nerds, hacky-sackers , losers and weirdoes. Well that was ten years ago. Nowadays if you skate , your the fucking man! I don’t know exactly what date it happened. But it seemed like George Bush was President. Then right when the black man took office the hoes were DTF if you could kickflip. If you don’t believe me next time you go to a party bring your skateboard. skateboard = guaranteed pussy(unless you have no swag ). As much as I hate to see the skateboard scene mix with male modeling we do owe Dylan Ryder, Brandon Szafranski (yes Brandon was in Kelis’ “Im Bossy” music video) , Neen, Ryan Sheckler, Nyjah Houston and other proffesional “skate models” for everytime one of us gets laid off the strength of being a skater.

5. Cops don’t hassle skaters as much


Before skateboarding was mainstream a cop would never believe your only skateboarding if you were caught behind a building on private property (a university, a corporate building a middle school etc.) More than likely you would get searched, accused of spraying graffiti on a nearby wall and questioned about local drug dealing before you were let go. Nowadays police realize that skaters are actually crazy enough to drive to another city, sneak behind a building just to grind one particular rail that was in latest zoo york video. The point is cops understand a little bit more about skaters than they used to and they no longer loop us in with suspicious people.

6. Opportunities to make $ in skateboarding


With the rise of skateboarding comes the rise of the skate market. As a market there are many many ways to make money within the sport. To name a few ideals you could start your own board company, create a clothing line that automatically starts out with an amazing target audience, give skateboard lessons for 15-20$ and hour and you could always come up with a ton of your own ways to make $ within skateboarding. Shit start a wax company or something. If you still feel sometype of way about skateboarding becoming mainstream fine, no problem. But just remember due to the skateboarding becoming popular and more of a regular sport you can get free stuff from skateshops, new skateparks are everywhere, you can get money, fuck bitches, skate the in the hood and the cops won’t ever bother you. Sounds like the American Dream. #skatelife

NFL TRYOUTS: NEW RULE CHANGES 2014 SEASON

Due to the ever growing concern of serious injuries in the National Football League the league has decided to prohibit professional players from taking part in kickoff returns.  In order to prevent future lawsuits to players under contract, NFL teams are searching from amateur pools to play in a crucial part of the game that fans can't bear to see removed from the game.

5 EASY SKATEBOARD TRICKS TO IMPRESS BASIC BITCHES

It’s every girls dream to hook up with a sweaty skater bra, none of that gay ass longboard shit. Take note of this list if you want to finally lose your virginity while getting mad street cred along the way.

12 WORST FOOTBALL MASCOTS: COLLEGE AND NFL

Let's take a look at the worst mascots in the world of football.  We'll take a dive into both the world of college sports and professional sports to show you the twelve most sus mascots that you and your friends should love...ironically

ALLEN IVERSON INTERVIEW: NOT DEAD


In this edition of celeb versus teen, a teen with very little knowledge on the sport of basketball recently sent former NBA player Allen Iverson a barrage of fan mail.  Allen Iverson joins teen news for the inside scoop on how professional athletes actually react to the very few messages they end up reading.

FUNNY FANTASY FOOTBALL: TWO BLUNTS ONE DRAFT


It's football season, and that means that teens will be getting involved in fantasy football leagues.  Girls will naturally assume these dudes are geeks because of the connotations of the word "fantasy", but dudes know it's much more about winning that $200 pot you all threw $20 into to get the glory and the weed associated with it.

BEST BASEBALL STADIUMS: TOP FIVE

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INNER CITY BASKETBALL: BEYOND THE ARC

Inner city teens have recently created a community outreach program to teach privileged white teens about the game of basketball.  The first recipient of this progressive program was a fifteen year old named Jeffrey.