It’s every girls dream to hook up with a sweaty skater bra, none of that gay ass longboard shit. Take note of this list if you want to finally lose your virginity while getting mad street cred along the way.
5. The Ollie
“OMG did the board just go...in the AIR?!?” Some skaters say the ollie is the foreground for any skateboard trick ever, others dedicate their entire skate careers to perfecting this incredibly rad trick. Regardless, after poppin’ a couple of these you’ll be sure to be poppin’ cherries all over town.
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| *ollies right into threeway* |
4. The 180
Shieeet son you barely need to ollie to nail this one. Its called the 180 because after having this trick in your arsenal all the bitches that curved you previously will be turnin’ 180 degrees just to come and suck on your dick.
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| some geometry may be involved |
3. The Pop-Shuv
Holy shit bro you are moving up. This trick is a sure fire way to get the 4th grade scooter kids out of your way while ensuring to fuck their moms at pick up time (around 4:30, 5-oclock tops)
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| straight bolts son |
2. No-Comply
“Are your feet liek supposed to touch the...ground?” YEAH BITCH WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT SKATEBOARDING? This trick looks extremely difficult and complicated, but in all actuality...it isn’t. The ladies won’t be able to comprehend your swag after learning this killer move. |
| virtual reality |
1. Kickflip
You’re in the big leagues now kid. If you don’t already know this one involves the board doing a damn corkscrew under your feet. If you don’t think that’s the gnarliest shit you ever seen then get the fuck out of my face. You’ll be kickfliping all the way to the abortion clinic after the honeys catch a glimpse of you even attempting this trick.
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| this grandpa is getting wayy more pussy than you |
