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STYLE: teen wears new scarf to school "what's that bro? a cum rag?" "nah, it's a pussy eating bib" *walks into girl's locker room*                   FLIRT: teens interact sexually "is that an iPhone in your pants or are you just happy to see me?" "it's a Samsung Galaxy you stupid bitch"                   DIESEL: teen gets pulled over "officer, i know i was speeding i was just really mad" *officer lowers shades* "so you were FAST and FURIOUS?"                   OH NO: nervous teen asks out girl "b-becky, do y-you w-wanna- *vomits everywhere* *slips on vomit* *penis lands directly in vagina* "swag"                   FML: teen struggles to get by in a harsh world "my chips are so crunchy that i can't hear the tv when i eat them" "i fucking hate my life"                   YUM: teen wins Nobel Peace Prize eating at Olive Garden "the breadsticks are unlimited, correct?" yes sir "perfect" *solves world hunger*                   SWAGGER: teen gets ready for saturday night yeah this snapback yolo combo will for sure get me laid *chugs diet pepsi* TURN DOWN FOR WHAT?                   BUDS: teens smoke marijuana "dude, could you imagine if weed was illegal?" "it is illegal" "WHAT??" *throws bong out window, flees country*                   SIZZURP: Teens shocked after idol Lil Wayne goes into a codeine coma. "#PrayForWeezy" "if he dies we should def get school off"                   LEGIT: teen gets real "i'm all about three things: pussy, weed, and kill streaks" *rips bong and plays black ops* "...the pussy can wait"                   FML: a white teen was seen crying at starbucks this morning after they got her order wrong "here is your mocha frappe" "YOU'RE*"                   DIESEL: teen gets pulled over "officer, i know i was speeding i was just really mad" *officer lowers shades* "so you were FAST and FURIOUS?"                   BREAKING: local mother arrested for throwing out her son's Pokemon cards. Among the cards was a holographic Mewtwo. She faces up to 20 years                   RAGE: teen plays Pokemon Gold *at pokecenter* *rapidly clicking A* *accidentally clicks A too much and the nurse starts talking again* NOOOO                   FML: a white teen was seen crying at starbucks this morning after they got her order wrong "here is your mocha frappe" "YOU'RE*"                   BALLER: teens discuss their plans while shooting hoops "what are you doing tonight?" *shoots* "nothing but-" *swishes* "netflix"                   FUN: teen boys go to their first college party together "we're gunna pick up so many bitches" Reports indicate they "picked up no bitches"                   BLAZED: pre-teens have their first sips of beer "when am i gonna get high?" "i've had like three. i.....i think i'm feelin it"                   SUPER SMASH BROTHAS: teen claims Nintendo is racist "there's no black people in super smash" well, there IS donkey ko- *gets ass beat hard*

5 EASY SKATEBOARD TRICKS TO IMPRESS BASIC BITCHES

It’s every girls dream to hook up with a sweaty skater bra, none of that gay ass longboard shit. Take note of this list if you want to finally lose your virginity while getting mad street cred along the way.


5. The Ollie

“OMG did the board just go...in the AIR?!?”
Some skaters say the ollie is the foreground for any skateboard trick ever, others dedicate their entire skate careers to perfecting this incredibly rad trick. Regardless, after poppin’ a couple of these you’ll be sure to be poppin’ cherries all over town.



*ollies right into threeway*


4. The 180

Shieeet son you barely need to ollie to nail this one. Its called the 180 because after having this trick in your arsenal all the bitches that curved you previously will be turnin’ 180 degrees just to come and suck on your dick.

some geometry may be involved


3. The Pop-Shuv

Holy shit bro you are moving up. This trick is a sure fire way to get the 4th grade scooter kids out of your way while ensuring to fuck their moms at pick up time (around 4:30, 5-oclock tops)




straight bolts son



2. No-Comply

“Are your feet liek supposed to touch the...ground?” YEAH BITCH WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT SKATEBOARDING? This trick looks extremely difficult and complicated, but in all actuality...it isn’t. The ladies won’t be able to comprehend your swag after learning this killer move.


virtual reality

1. Kickflip


You’re in the big leagues now kid. If you don’t already know this one involves the board doing a damn corkscrew under your feet. If you don’t think that’s the gnarliest shit you ever seen then get the fuck out of my face.  You’ll be kickfliping all the way to the abortion clinic after the honeys catch a glimpse of you even attempting this trick.


this grandpa is getting wayy more pussy than you