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JOURNALISM: Teen girl claimed she was "literally dying" after reading a text from her friend. Sources indicate she is in fact, not dying.                   WOAH: teens get rowdy while driving "yo call that guy a fag and then drive off" "FAG!" "haha yes, we are so badass" *everyone high fives*                   OUCH: Teen 'eats shit' while attempting to longboard to class "ive been practicing all summer!" "fuck i ripped my favorite plaid shorts"                   TURNT: 7th graders go H.A.M. for Billy's 13th BDay "dude i just chugged 3 Kool-Aid Jammerz" "i think im starting to feel it"                   HEART BREAKING: young teen overdoses on marijuana earlier today. Witnesses claim his last words were "dude" and "duuuudddeeee"                   420: teens smoke after school "dude, do you ever think like, what if you were a chick? like what if- "WHAT IF YOU PASSED THE FUCKING BLUNT?"                   JOB: teen gets interviewed "why should we hire you?" "i have 1000 followers on twitter" "how many do you follow?" "...1200" "GET OUTTA HERE"                   FADEAD: teens try drugs for the first time "dude i smoked like eleven beers" one teen claims "i drank like 2 weeds and drove" one teen dead                   VIOLENT: teen in critical condition after being assaulted during a game of Mario Party "i told that piece of shit not to steal my star"                   COOL AF: teen isn't comfortable with temperature in his room A/C to 68° "too cold" A/C to 70° "too hot" A/C to 69° *uncontrollable laughter*                   QUEERS OF WAR: teens argue over Xbox Live "suck my dick!" "no you suck my dick, bitch!" *teens exchange numbers and suck each other's dicks*                   HIGH TIMES: teens smoke weed after school "dude... sinks are like showers but for your hands" *passes joint* ..bro that's fucking adorable                   CLASSIC: 7th grader settles down and watches Family Guy *peter farts on screen for 45 seconds* "seth macfarlane is nothing short of genius"                   NICE: teens prepare for finals "i took like 120 mg's of adderall" "i didn't even study. i just organized my itunes library for 6 hours"                   QUEERS OF WAR: teens argue over Xbox Live "suck my dick!" "no you suck my dick, bitch!" *teens exchange numbers and suck each other's dicks*                   SIZZURP: Teens shocked after idol Lil Wayne goes into a codeine coma. "#PrayForWeezy" "if he dies we should def get school off"                   CHRONIC: teen smokes weed for the first time "..dude" what "....dude" what?? "duuuuude" WHAT?? "i'm so ripped" we didn't even smoke yet "oh"                   BONDING: teen doesn't want to go to school "dad, it's just real fcking gay" "honestly son, you have a point" *father rolls fat ass blunt*                   FML: teen struggles to get by in a harsh world "my chips are so crunchy that i can't hear the tv when i eat them" "i fucking hate my life"

12 WORST FOOTBALL MASCOTS: COLLEGE AND NFL

Let's take a look at the worst mascots in the world of football.  We'll take a dive into both the world of college sports and professional sports to show you the twelve most sus mascots that you and your friends should love...ironically



12. Zippy - University of Akron 

A kangaroo in Ohio? Why not!? Oh and if you couldn't tell that it's supposed to be a kangaroo maybe you should apologize before it hops on out of Ohio like everyone from Akron does. *cough* LeBron *cough*

11. Goldy Gopher - University of Minnesota


HOLY SHIT. This has got to be the most sus mascot of all time. Everyone knows chipmunks love stuffing their mouths to the brim with nuts...so what does that say about your team? 

10. Keggy the Keg - Dartmouth College


I assume the same white girl that named her pet fish "fishy" and her pet cat "kitty" came up with the name of this try-hard mascot.

9. Rocky the Rocket - University of Toledo


Is that a power ranger? Oh wait no its just a mentally handicapped virgin who couldn't make it in the special olympics and is now spends his days as a useless mascot. 

8.  Otto the Orange - Syracuse University


The only vitamin C this stupid mascot can't get you is Cool.  It wasn't like Syracuse was your first choice as a university anyway so I'm sure you didn't expect a non-retarded mascot.

7. Archie the Autistic Tree - Stanford University


Representing Stanford University is Archie the autistic tree and his buddies from the forest of retarded plants...intimidating af. 


6. The Boltman - San Diego Chargers


A very 90s style mascot that doesn't at all look like someone who has recently drank radioactive
sunny- d.


5. "Lightning" the Pegasus- Middle State Tennessee University 
Pegasus...more like MEGA-SUS. But no in all seriousness what is that thing a fucking brony? Your mascot is a socially awkward nerd who masturbates to My Little Pony porn on the internet. Smh. 


4. The Fighting Okra - Delta State University


Never heard of Delta State? Don't tell this vegetable or he might put his fifty cent paper mache boxing gloves to terrible use.

3. Chief Opa-Locka-Lightning-Bear - The Washington Red Skins 


If you've ever seen that gay disney movie Pocahontas then you know Indians are fucking sus...and this dude is no exception


2. T.D. - Miami Dolphins


Finally, a retard that we don't have to force to wear a helmet.

1. Collin The Clown - McDonalds State Wolverines


Wow... and I thought America couldn't get anymore gay, fat and scary. This is just depressing.