Menu

GTA: teen love gaming! "wait guys, don't you think this game is a little offensive to women?" *silence* "LOL JK" *kills another hooker*                   STUDY: teen crams for exam PREPARE THE LUBE MOTHER *jams textbook into anus* i guess you can say ill be pulling the answers...OUT OF MY ASS                   OCTOBER: teens go on a haunted hayride *throws hay onto females* "HAY GIRL" *throws more hay* "i said...HAY GIRL" "hayyyy!" *gets laid*                   MEMORIAL DAY: teen remembers the players that died in a Call of Duty team deathmatch "R.I.P. EternalVirgin, bonglover69, and BROBROBRO1"                   STYLE: teen wears new scarf to school "what's that bro? a cum rag?" "nah, it's a pussy eating bib" *walks into girl's locker room*                   MUSIC: h/s senior receives detention after arguing with his teacher "i said lil b is better than elton john" "i guess mr. ross isn't based"                   MUGSHOT: arrested teen makes an odd request while being processed "can you please sepia filter this shot" "also can you hashtag it badass?"                   BUSTED: a shirtless teen was seen smoking a cigarette while riding a longboard. Police arrested him for being "too cool" in a school zone                   HIGH TIMES: teens smoke weed after school "dude... sinks are like showers but for your hands" *passes joint* ..bro that's fucking adorable                   CRITIC: teen isn't too thrilled with his movie experience "more like the DECENT gatsby, 3/5 stars" "there weren't even tits"                   PUTT PUTT: teen has trouble on his first date w/ female "she beat me in mini golf" that's rough, what did you do? "i left her there" nice                   OCTOBER: teens go on a haunted hayride *throws hay onto females* "HAY GIRL" *throws more hay* "i said...HAY GIRL" "hayyyy!" *gets laid*                   DRUGSTEP: christian parents worried about teenage son "have you been smoking dubstep?" "mom what??" "DON'T LIE TO ME WHERE'S THE SKRILLEX"                   MEMORIAL DAY: teen remembers the players that died in a Call of Duty team deathmatch "R.I.P. EternalVirgin, bonglover69, and BROBROBRO1"                   PUTT PUTT: teen has trouble on his first date w/ female "she beat me in mini golf" that's rough, what did you do? "i left her there" nice                   CHIVALRY: teen cooks a romantic dinner for his girlfriend "are you enjoying your ham and cheese hot pocket babe?" "no. not at all."                   SCIENTIFIC: studies indicate that 3 out of every 4 teens smoke marijuana. Coincidentally, scientists also found that 1 in 4 teens are nerds                   CHECK UP: teen vists doctor "so are you sexually active?" no "any drugs or alcohol?" nope "i see. well my prognosis is you're a fuckin nerd"                   STONED: teen takes his first ever "bong hit" "make sure you drink the bong water, it gets you super baked" "really?" "yea dude trust me"

12 WORST FOOTBALL MASCOTS: COLLEGE AND NFL

Let's take a look at the worst mascots in the world of football.  We'll take a dive into both the world of college sports and professional sports to show you the twelve most sus mascots that you and your friends should love...ironically



12. Zippy - University of Akron 

A kangaroo in Ohio? Why not!? Oh and if you couldn't tell that it's supposed to be a kangaroo maybe you should apologize before it hops on out of Ohio like everyone from Akron does. *cough* LeBron *cough*

11. Goldy Gopher - University of Minnesota


HOLY SHIT. This has got to be the most sus mascot of all time. Everyone knows chipmunks love stuffing their mouths to the brim with nuts...so what does that say about your team? 

10. Keggy the Keg - Dartmouth College


I assume the same white girl that named her pet fish "fishy" and her pet cat "kitty" came up with the name of this try-hard mascot.

9. Rocky the Rocket - University of Toledo


Is that a power ranger? Oh wait no its just a mentally handicapped virgin who couldn't make it in the special olympics and is now spends his days as a useless mascot. 

8.  Otto the Orange - Syracuse University


The only vitamin C this stupid mascot can't get you is Cool.  It wasn't like Syracuse was your first choice as a university anyway so I'm sure you didn't expect a non-retarded mascot.

7. Archie the Autistic Tree - Stanford University


Representing Stanford University is Archie the autistic tree and his buddies from the forest of retarded plants...intimidating af. 


6. The Boltman - San Diego Chargers


A very 90s style mascot that doesn't at all look like someone who has recently drank radioactive
sunny- d.


5. "Lightning" the Pegasus- Middle State Tennessee University 
Pegasus...more like MEGA-SUS. But no in all seriousness what is that thing a fucking brony? Your mascot is a socially awkward nerd who masturbates to My Little Pony porn on the internet. Smh. 


4. The Fighting Okra - Delta State University


Never heard of Delta State? Don't tell this vegetable or he might put his fifty cent paper mache boxing gloves to terrible use.

3. Chief Opa-Locka-Lightning-Bear - The Washington Red Skins 


If you've ever seen that gay disney movie Pocahontas then you know Indians are fucking sus...and this dude is no exception


2. T.D. - Miami Dolphins


Finally, a retard that we don't have to force to wear a helmet.

1. Collin The Clown - McDonalds State Wolverines


Wow... and I thought America couldn't get anymore gay, fat and scary. This is just depressing.