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NEITHER: "which fedora should i wear?"                   IDIOT: Teen throws big party but forgets one key element "dude i forgot music" "just use ur laptop" "i only have greenday" "mother of god"                   SCIENTIFIC: studies indicate that 3 out of every 4 teens smoke marijuana. Coincidentally, scientists also found that 1 in 4 teens are nerds                   FUN: teens prepare for Halloween "okay. i'm mario, jeff's luigi, mark's wario, and steve.. ur waluigi" why am i waluigi? "BC NO ONE LIKES U"                   ORATORY SKILLS: teen uses a classic tactic of rhetoric in a debate with his peer "you're gay" "no, YOU'RE gay" *teen stands in shock*                   DATING: teen breaks up with girlfriend "it's just not- *curls dumbbell* WORKING OUT for me" that's funny "i kno rite. but still we're thru"                   CIGS: teen takes up smoking to appear cooler to his peers "have you taken up smoking?" "yes, i have" "you appear cooler to me now"                   DUDE: teens make their Breaking Bad predictions "dude badgers gunna be the new heisenberg" *rips bong so fucking hard* "that wud be dopeeee"                   DAFT: teens attempt to stay up all night to get lucky "if we stay awake long enough we get laid, right?" "yea that's what the song says"                   SCIENTIFIC: studies indicate that 3 out of every 4 teens smoke marijuana. Coincidentally, scientists also found that 1 in 4 teens are nerds                   WHITE GIRL: teen asked what 5 things she would bring to a deserted island 1. uggs 2. iPhone 3. iPhone charger 4. starbucks giftcard 5. my bf                   STONED: teen takes his first ever "bong hit" "make sure you drink the bong water, it gets you super baked" "really?" "yea dude trust me"                   OBAMA CARES: teens have no idea "the government is gonna shut down!?" "yea something about a tea party" "wow politics is so gay"                   FISH ARE FRIENDS: a white girl posts a facebook status Becky: i'm FINna watch some shark week! Hannah: omg so creative! Becky: love uuuuuuu                   WHITE GIRL: teen asked what 5 things she would bring to a deserted island 1. uggs 2. iPhone 3. iPhone charger 4. starbucks giftcard 5. my bf                   BONDING: teen doesn't want to go to school "dad, it's just real fcking gay" "honestly son, you have a point" *father rolls fat ass blunt*                   HOLLAWEEN: Teens discuss their halloween costumes "im dressin up as a mocha frappe gonna be watchin the bitches flock" "im going as molly"                   BUDS: teens smoke marijuana "dude, could you imagine if weed was illegal?" "it is illegal" "WHAT??" *throws bong out window, flees country*                   GROUNDED: teen punished for 2 weeks after parents discover internet history: hot girls boobs vaginas how can i tell if i'm gay? big dicks

FUNNY FANTASY FOOTBALL: TWO BLUNTS ONE DRAFT


It's football season, and that means that teens will be getting involved in fantasy football leagues.  Girls will naturally assume these dudes are geeks because of the connotations of the word "fantasy", but dudes know it's much more about winning that $200 pot you all threw $20 into to get the glory and the weed associated with it.




"The first rule of fantasy football is never get stoned before your draft."
- ESPN Fantasy Football Analyst who has chosen to remain anonymous

Ten teens.  Ten teams.  Two blunts.  One draft.  These high school seniors were ready to go and the draft got started with a bang.
"with the first pick in the draft the dildo kings select Aaron Hernandez!"
"dude...he's in prison"
"MY TEAM IS GONNA MURDER YOURS BRO"

not a convicted fellow yet 
The rest of the first round went as expected, with picks 2-9 being the teens struggling to pronounce the names of the players rated 1-8 on their draft sheets.  However, things took a turn for the worst when their nerdy friend, who was filling in for a last second drop out, was forced to display his lack of fantasy football knowledge.  
"with the tenth pick in the draft, thanks for having me guys by the way"
"JUST FUCKING PICK"
"umm, ok, let's see, the pwning noobs will take Stephen Gostkowski!"
*everyone's jaw drops*

u goofed dude massive leg tho
"When you draft under the influence of marijuana you might do something stupid, like draft a kicker in the first round.  You have to be mentally challenged to do this sober."
- ESPN Fantasy Football Analyst who doesn't actually exist

The second and third round were smooth sailing.  Until the teens realized their draft sheets only listed out the top 35 and then things went absolutely ridiculous.
"with the 37th pick the chopped and stews take joe montana"
"with the 38th pick the boobs are so much friggin better than ass take tiger woods"
"with the 39th pick the fucking fucks take melanie iglesias"
*bro5*
"she's hella hot"

"You need to have some football knowledge when you draft or at least the mental capacity to look at your god damn iPhone.  Taking retired players, tiger woods, or models you would like to have sex with is not a positive when building a fantasy football team." 
- Jeff

The rest of the draft pretty much went in the same vein.  Except for the one teen who actually watches football, no one was able to fill out a roster with more than 5 NFL players.  The draft grades are in, we'll see who ends up working the waiver wire and taking home the $200!

C+ let's go 49ers
D- pwning noobs
F  chopped and stews
F  420ers
F  boobs are so much friggin better than ass
F  666ers
F  fucking fucks
F  dildo kings
F  69ers
F  you guys are gay