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DIESEL: teen gets pulled over "officer, i know i was speeding i was just really mad" *officer lowers shades* "so you were FAST and FURIOUS?"                   PUTT PUTT: teen has trouble on his first date w/ female "she beat me in mini golf" that's rough, what did you do? "i left her there" nice                   GRADES: Student receives an "F" on powerpoint presentation for using too many laser sounds in transitions "that sound effect is gangster af"                   ICEBREAKER: teen screws up a classic pick-up line "so babe you ever weigh a polar bear" "what?" *breaks ice on girl's head* "wanna make out"                   FLIRT: teens interact sexually "is that an iPhone in your pants or are you just happy to see me?" "it's a Samsung Galaxy you stupid bitch"                   ROCK: 13 year old considers Creed to be "classic rock" "hey dad, let's spark a doobie and listen to creed" "son, just stop"                   MAKING WUB: teen credits dubstep for his success with the ladies "you can't spell skrillex without killr sex"                   WORK: teen seeks job "it says here u defeated the elite 4 on ur 1st try" yes sir "congrats, u got the job. ur starting salary is $1,000,000"                   NEITHER: "which fedora should i wear?"                   CIGS: teen takes up smoking to appear cooler to his peers "have you taken up smoking?" "yes, i have" "you appear cooler to me now"                   WHY: teens can't understand their failures with women "i wore my best fedora!" did you show her ur beyblades? "no i forgot" rookie mistake                   TEEN TALK: "is the double condom method more effective?" "a condom inside a condom? that's like inception dude" "...more like CONTRACEPTION"                   FAMILY DINNER: "mom what are we eating?" "we're having pasta" *mom puts on dubstep* "with a side of TURNIP" *everyone goes fucking nuts*                   MAIL: teen writes love letter to gf babe, ilu more then weed. well, u nd weed r prolly bout equal bc i luv weed alot but still love, steve                   WHY: teens can't understand their failures with women "i wore my best fedora!" did you show her ur beyblades? "no i forgot" rookie mistake                   BOSS: teen gets his homework checked "ya i didn't do it" "you don't have an excuse?" "EXCUSE me but how bout you get the FUCK outta my face"                   MODERN WARFARE: Teen decides to enlist for military after raising his kill/death ratio to 1.5 in Call of Duty "i'm ready for anything now"                   TRILL SMITH: teen claims to be "too trill for homework" "you think ima need to know algebra when i'm a famous rapper?" "bitch swerve"                   BEEFIN: 7th grader claims to "have beef" w/ his mother after she forgot to pack Zebra Cakes in his lunchbox "bitch knows i need my z cakes"

6 REASONS SKATING IS SWEETER THAN EVER

In the past ten years skateboarding has transitioned from an underground activity/culture into a mainstream sport/phenomenon that is used to promote major brands like new balance, converse and nike. Skateboarding is also featured all over TV and social media on the regular basis. This may be taken for granted by many but for the longest time skateboarding had a similar following as Xtreme inline rollerblading. At a first glance the recent advancement of the sport’s popularity sounds like a great thing right? Well to most, except skateboarders are weird and don’t think like other athletes. Like many skaters I was originally opposed to the fact that my beloved skateboarding begun headed towards the path of “selling out”. Then one day I started to view the sport’s recent and growing mainstream appeal as a positive thing. If your one of those guys (or girls) who aren’t too happy with skateboarding’s growing popularity check out the top six reasons skateboardings recent mainstream-ism is a plus for anybody who skates.


1. Its safe to skate the hood


If your a street skateboarder that likes to film then you know damned well that some of the coolest spots to get footage at are found deep in the hood. The problem is when a group of white kids are in the middle of the hood with a few thousand dollars worth of camera equipment they usually get..... approached. Bad news is your still going to be approached (100%). Good news is your not going to get jumped or robbed anymore. More than likely they’ll ask you to show them a few tricks and they’ll ask to ride your board. Shit... One of them mite even know how to olley or pop shovit. Point is they are actually interested in your skateboarding now. Skateboarding is one of the few sports you cannot master in a short period of time and people give respect to those who do it. Especially in the hood. You can thank lil wayne for making your neighbor hood spots a little bit safer. Remember its the hood “DON’T GO THERE! Without your skateboard!

2. Skateparks are popping up everywhere.


Ten years ago in order to find a good skatepark you had to drive twenty miles at least. Nowadays every town has one, some towns are even leaving the old one and building a second more modernized park. In addition to smaller towns, most major cities have two, three or more skateparks. You can thank the mainstream popularity that builds local interest and awareness for the rise of these new parks.

3. Local Skate Shops are actually making $


Local shops are now making money in a business that isn’t set up for owners to get rich. This means shops will be hosting more contests, giving away more free shit and making prices cheaper than ever. Skate shops just like parks used to be few and far between, now there everywhere. Just don’t shop at a zummiez.

4. Girls Dig Skateboarders These Days


Back in the day skateboarders were looped into a similar category as nerds, hacky-sackers , losers and weirdoes. Well that was ten years ago. Nowadays if you skate , your the fucking man! I don’t know exactly what date it happened. But it seemed like George Bush was President. Then right when the black man took office the hoes were DTF if you could kickflip. If you don’t believe me next time you go to a party bring your skateboard. skateboard = guaranteed pussy(unless you have no swag ). As much as I hate to see the skateboard scene mix with male modeling we do owe Dylan Ryder, Brandon Szafranski (yes Brandon was in Kelis’ “Im Bossy” music video) , Neen, Ryan Sheckler, Nyjah Houston and other proffesional “skate models” for everytime one of us gets laid off the strength of being a skater.

5. Cops don’t hassle skaters as much


Before skateboarding was mainstream a cop would never believe your only skateboarding if you were caught behind a building on private property (a university, a corporate building a middle school etc.) More than likely you would get searched, accused of spraying graffiti on a nearby wall and questioned about local drug dealing before you were let go. Nowadays police realize that skaters are actually crazy enough to drive to another city, sneak behind a building just to grind one particular rail that was in latest zoo york video. The point is cops understand a little bit more about skaters than they used to and they no longer loop us in with suspicious people.

6. Opportunities to make $ in skateboarding


With the rise of skateboarding comes the rise of the skate market. As a market there are many many ways to make money within the sport. To name a few ideals you could start your own board company, create a clothing line that automatically starts out with an amazing target audience, give skateboard lessons for 15-20$ and hour and you could always come up with a ton of your own ways to make $ within skateboarding. Shit start a wax company or something. If you still feel sometype of way about skateboarding becoming mainstream fine, no problem. But just remember due to the skateboarding becoming popular and more of a regular sport you can get free stuff from skateshops, new skateparks are everywhere, you can get money, fuck bitches, skate the in the hood and the cops won’t ever bother you. Sounds like the American Dream. #skatelife