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BETTER LUCK NEXT RHYME: teen loses a rap battle "spark the blunt with my bic, yea boy i'll suck your dick" "WAIT NO HOMO" "stfu juicy gay"                   BADASS: teen smokes for first time "yeah i found this blunt in my moms ash tray" *lights cig* *coughs* "that good kush and alcohol son!"                   WOAH: teens get rowdy while driving "yo call that guy a fag and then drive off" "FAG!" "haha yes, we are so badass" *everyone high fives*                   WHITE GIRL: teen asked what 5 things she would bring to a deserted island 1. uggs 2. iPhone 3. iPhone charger 4. starbucks giftcard 5. my bf                   BALLER: teens discuss their plans while shooting hoops "what are you doing tonight?" *shoots* "nothing but-" *swishes* "netflix"                   ORATORY SKILLS: teen uses a classic tactic of rhetoric in a debate with his peer "you're gay" "no, YOU'RE gay" *teen stands in shock*                   CENSORED: 10th grade teen refuses to say "the n word" during a class reading of To Kill A Mockingbird "there were black kids in that class"                   SCIENCE PROJECT: "as you can see, the air flows through the water bec-" THIS IS A BONG "it's called a water pipe" GET OUT OF MY CLASSROOM                   BRAWL: teen loses fight to local bully "i don't get it. i watched the whole 1st season of dragon ball z" "i should have destroyed him"                   GOSSIP: 7th graders talk rumors "i heard tina gave billy a handjob behind the bleachers after school" for real? "yea" wait what's a handjob?                   CHAT: teens talk on AIM™ Sk8rBoy - did she blow u? Dude86 - yea, but she sucked dick at it Sk8rBoy - is that good or bad? Dude86 - lmao dude                   PREP: teen frat star walks halls decked out in all Polo *sees black person wearing ecko* *hides* *whispers to himself* "help me mitt romney"                   KOOLS: teen buys cigs to impress girls "can i get a pack of boges?" "what kind?" *lowers shades* "the kind that gives you the most cancer"                   YUNG LOVE: teen receives a text from his gf "i miss u" "i literally just left your house" "k" *throws phone at wall*                   CHAT: teens talk on AIM™ Sk8rBoy - did she blow u? Dude86 - yea, but she sucked dick at it Sk8rBoy - is that good or bad? Dude86 - lmao dude                   GAME: teen joins a sports team in hopes of getting girls "sup ladies, i'm the quarterman for our school's hoopball squad" *has infinity sex*                   COOL AF: teen isn't comfortable with temperature in his room A/C to 68° "too cold" A/C to 70° "too hot" A/C to 69° *uncontrollable laughter*                   420: teens smoke after school "dude, do you ever think like, what if you were a chick? like what if- "WHAT IF YOU PASSED THE FUCKING BLUNT?"                   FADEAD: teens try drugs for the first time "dude i smoked like eleven beers" one teen claims "i drank like 2 weeds and drove" one teen dead

ALLEN IVERSON INTERVIEW: NOT DEAD


In this edition of celeb versus teen, a teen with very little knowledge on the sport of basketball recently sent former NBA player Allen Iverson a barrage of fan mail.  Allen Iverson joins teen news for the inside scoop on how professional athletes actually react to the very few messages they end up reading.


TN: You don't look like Allen Iverson.
AI: Trust me, I am.
TN: Okay.

TN: Let's look at Tim's first message to you.

Dear Alan Ivursun,

 Is it Alan or Allen? I wasn't really sure so I just picked one I hope that's OK. :) Anyway, I was watching you play basketball the other night and I just want to be like you! Can you come over one day and teach me how to shoot a b ball

 From, Tim

 AI: It's Allen.
TN: We know, but who are you really? You're not even black.
AI: Trust me, I'm Allen Iverson, but yea this kid's a god damn herb.

Dear Allen Iverson,

 I googled you this time.  Sorry for the spelling errors! Did you know you can pretty much google anything!  I also realized you retired a long time ago but you're still my favorite.  What's your favorite snack?  Personally I like Oreos because you can lick them for days.

 Sincerely, Tim

 AI:  I fucking love oreas.
TN: Oranges are delicious.
AI: I could eat orangutans all day everyday.

Allen,

 Can you please fucking respond, I'm literally sick of fucking sending you these god damn letters and acting like a cutesy bitch just to talk to you.  The real situation is my friend bet me $200 I couldn't get an NBA player to punch me in the face, and seeing how you're probably desperate af for the money I figured I'd split it with you.  So come at me pussy I live at [Address removed for privacy purposes]. 

 Fuck you, Tim

 AI: I'll knock that kid the fuck out.

Hopefully on the next edition of celeb versus teen we'll do a little more research before we attribute a bunch of quotes to the actual person when we knew right from the jump this guy was a fraud.  Seriously though, hit us up if you're the real Allen Iverson, we're here for you when life gets tough man.