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BARGAIN: teen buys weed for the first time *hands dealer $20* *gets handed bag of chopped leaves* *smells bag* "woah this is some dank kush"                   MUGSHOT: arrested teen makes an odd request while being processed "can you please sepia filter this shot" "also can you hashtag it badass?"                   STUDY: teen crams for exam PREPARE THE LUBE MOTHER *jams textbook into anus* i guess you can say ill be pulling the answers...OUT OF MY ASS                   WHY: teens can't understand their failures with women "i wore my best fedora!" did you show her ur beyblades? "no i forgot" rookie mistake                   IRL: teen forgets he's not playing GTA V *goes sixty mph on the highway* *jumps out of car* *gets up and walks away*                   CHECK UP: teen vists doctor "so are you sexually active?" no "any drugs or alcohol?" nope "i see. well my prognosis is you're a fuckin nerd"                   BANGIN: teen goes on date w/ cute female "how'd it go?" let's just say i'm *lowers shades* not a virgin anymore *still totally a virgin*                   EMPLOYMENT: teen girls fills out job application "should i put down that i was twerk team captain?" "fuck yea i should"                   DAFT: teens attempt to stay up all night to get lucky "if we stay awake long enough we get laid, right?" "yea that's what the song says"                   TRILL SMITH: teen claims to be "too trill for homework" "you think ima need to know algebra when i'm a famous rapper?" "bitch swerve"                   GERIATRIC: teens talk about the future "isn't it crazy that they'll play dubstep at our nursing homes?" "skrillex is our frank sinatra"                   DUNKIN BRONUTS: teens get coffee "why iced coffee bro" "i like my coffee like i like my bros...chill AS FUCK" *chugs coffee while bro5ing*                   TWITTER: teen faces crucial decision "i wanna rewrite my typo'd tweet but it already got three favs" "MY LIFE IS PAIN" *jumps off bridge*                   BAKED: teens get so high on marijuana they "forgot the alamo" "the what??" "DUDE WE WERE SUPPOSED TO REMEMBER THIS SHIT"                   GERIATRIC: teens talk about the future "isn't it crazy that they'll play dubstep at our nursing homes?" "skrillex is our frank sinatra"                   FANDANGO: 16 year olds try to see an R rated movie "i left my ID in-" *fake moustache falls off* "damnit" *sees grown ups 2*                   BRAWL: teen loses fight to local bully "i don't get it. i watched the whole 1st season of dragon ball z" "i should have destroyed him"                   FRESH: teen learns the true power of swag *stomps into the club wearing light up sneakers* "sup bitches" *gets dick sucked to death*                   BANGIN: teen goes on date w/ cute female "how'd it go?" let's just say i'm *lowers shades* not a virgin anymore *still totally a virgin*

LOVE IS A HIGHWAY: first date ends anticlimactically with a bit of a fender bender "i'm still confused how this is my fault...those aholes should have named it a drive-near theater"

Teens Crashing Honda Civic Into Movie Screen DENVER, CO - In an incident that has left the community both baffled and amused, a local teen's first date at a traditional drive-in theater ended in an unexpected collision with the movie screen. The teen, who has blamed the venue's naming for the accident, has sparked a conversation about the driving skills of today's youth and the responsibilities of entertainment venues.

NO FLEX ZONE: teen breaks up with girlfriend "its just not- *curls dumbbell* WORKING OUT for me" "that's funny" "i kno rite. but still we're still thru"

Couple breaking up in gym while lifting weights PHOENIX, AZ - In a shocking turn of events that has left the local gym community absolutely shook, a teen known only as Chad Flexington III has broken up with his girlfriend, Tiffany Toned, in what can only be described as the most lit breakup of the century. The incident occurred at Bicep Bliss Gym, where the couple was spotted working out together before things took a turn for the dramatic.

BOY LUNCH: guys at a local high school feel left out "can i get some boob action as a side?" "i really want to feel the repressed rage in this sandwich"

WINDFALL CITY - High schools, typically known for their outdated textbooks and relentless teenage drama, took an unexpected turn at Windfall City High when the male student body made a perplexing discovery: they were missing out on some prime cafeteria specials. How? Well, apparently someone decided that it's "Girl Lunch" week in the cafeteria, but no one bothered to give the memo to the gents.

NEW SCHOOL COOL: college teens party with a millennial "you guys got any beer?" *sniffs a line of pure dogecoin* "GUYS GRANDPA WANTS TO CARBO-LOAD"

dogecoin party NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ - It was a sight to behold when college teens at Riverdale University invited a millennial to one of their notorious shindigs this past weekend.

BACK TO THE FUTURE: teens confused by time capsule from the distant past "what the hell is a crazy bone" "AI gore? intense."

teens opening up a time capsule APPLETON, NJ - A group of unsuspecting teens at Appleton High got a one-way ticket to Confusionville when they unearthed a time capsule from the distant past.

GREAIT MINDS THINK ALIKE: teens get a response on their career aspiration essay assignment "it looks like ALL of you responded 'As an artificial intelligence language model, I don't have personal ambitions or desires like humans do.'"

Teacher Upset at Students' Essays ANCHORAGE, AL - Something unexpected has blossomed in the frosty classrooms of Anchorage High: unity. A recent assignment, to pen an essay on career aspirations, led to an unexpected consensus among the city's teen scholars. They all want to be...Artificial Intelligence Language Models?

GOLDEN GIRLS: teen discovers the not-so-wonderful world of porn "bro haven't you ever wondered what your grandma looks like naked?" "..........no?"

BUCKEYE, AZ - Puberty hits hard, and no one knows this better than 14-year-old Tucson resident, Timmy "Tech-Wiz" Watson. After stumbling upon the curious world of pornography, Tech-Wiz took a deep dive into the rabbit hole and surfaced with an existential question of a lifetime, leaving his friends and the entire community utterly flabbergasted.

THIS IS FORTY: teen finds the perfect birthday gift for his mother "i'm not going to call her a 'bitch' today"

Angry Teen and Happy Mom POUGHKEEPSIE - It's a day that will be remembered in the annals of Poughkeepsie. Local teen, Eddie "Skate Rat" Thompson, known for his exceptional ability to push his mother's patience to the breaking point, made a revolutionary birthday promise. For his mom's 40th birthday, he swore off his daily tradition of punctuating every sentence with the endearing moniker, "bitch."

SHARK WEEK: new clout chasing trend has teens braving the ocean covered in chum "can you imagine how many insta followers i'll get if it rips of my freaking arm"

last image of billy benson SUNNYDALE BEACH - A new wave of thrill-seeking teens is hitting Sunnydale's shores, and it's making the town's old guard of surfers feel like they're swimming with guppies. The latest TikTok trend, dubbed #ChumDive, sees adrenaline-addled teens diving into the ocean covered head-to-toe in fish guts and blood, all in an effort to chase that elusive viral fame.

COKED UP: teens just want to party "I NEED MORE" "dude put the contraband down, diabetes is no joke"

odd looking teens BETTENSVILLE - "We're not talking about the illegal substance here, folks," clarified local police chief, Marvin Higgs, as he wiped the remnants of a chocolate sprinkle doughnut from his mouth. The epidemic he referred to, which has consumed the teens of Bettenville High, was of a more sugary nature. Soft drinks, specifically Coca Cola, have become the lifeblood of the local teen scene, with weekend ragers morphing into sugar-laden soda fests.