ANCHORAGE, AL - Something unexpected has blossomed in the frosty classrooms of Anchorage High: unity. A recent assignment, to pen an essay on career aspirations, led to an unexpected consensus among the city's teen scholars. They all want to be...Artificial Intelligence Language Models?
Yes, you heard it right, folks. When teacher Miriam Proudfoot began grading the avalanche of papers, she discovered an eerie, carbon-copy response from every single student: "As an Artificial Intelligence Language Model, I don't have personal ambitions or desires like humans do."
Confused and a bit alarmed, Ms. Proudfoot approached school counselor, Dr. Ivar Undecided, who shrugged, admitting, "I don't even know what that job title means."
The school's tech-savvy librarian, Ctrl+Alt+Delilah, shed some light on the subject: "An AI Language Model is a type of software that generates human-like text. I think our students are having a bit of fun...or maybe a collective existential crisis."
Teenagers, renowned for their innovative takes on disobedience, seem to have channeled their rebellious spirits into a techno-surreal form of satire. Billy 'Bitecode' Bryson, class valedictorian and renowned computer whiz, told us, "We're all going into crippling debt whether or not we do these bullshit assignments."
Local parents are bemused and horrified. Helicopter mom, Fran Frantic, has called for an emergency PTA meeting. "What's next?" she exclaimed. "Are they going to start asking to be identified as binary codes? As '0101011' instead of 'Bobby'?"
While the town grapples with this digital identity crisis, the students of Anchorage High School appear content with their synchronized revolt. They've proven that while teens may not always think alike, when they do, it's bound to cause a binary blizzard of bewilderment.
