BUCKEYE, AZ - Puberty hits hard, and no one knows this better than 14-year-old Tucson resident, Timmy "Tech-Wiz" Watson. After stumbling upon the curious world of pornography, Tech-Wiz took a deep dive into the rabbit hole and surfaced with an existential question of a lifetime, leaving his friends and the entire community utterly flabbergasted.
Never before had the adolescent minds of Tucson pondered the horrifying query: "Haven't you ever wondered what your grandma looks like naked?" The collective response was, unsurprisingly, a resounding and horrified "No."
Dr. Beatrice Dumont, a local psychologist, offered her take on the matter: "While it's perfectly normal for teenagers to explore their sexuality, Timmy's...erm...curiosity, shall we say, seems to have taken a left turn at Albuquerque."
School bus conversations have now become a minefield of discomfort, with teens scanning the vehicle for potential "grandma identifiers" - from blue hair to orthopedic shoes. Forget algebra - the real problem to solve is how to scrub one's brain clean of unsolicited granny imagery.
The phenomenon has also affected local businesses. Sweet Bertha's Knitting Nook, a favorite among Tucson's elderly, has seen a sudden drop in teen foot traffic. "I haven't sold a single hand-knit cardigan to a guilt-ridden grandchild in weeks," laments Bertha, store owner and local septuagenarian hottie.
Even the young girls in the community are feeling the shift. Susie "Sundress" Sutherland sighed, "I just want to be thought of as cute, not compared to someone's naked grandma."
Despite the widespread shock, Tech-Wiz remains unfazed, stating, "I'm just trying to expand my horizons, man." Indeed, Timmy. Indeed. Just maybe, next time, let's keep some horizons unexplored.
