WINDFALL CITY - High schools, typically known for their outdated textbooks and relentless teenage drama, took an unexpected turn at Windfall City High when the male student body made a perplexing discovery: they were missing out on some prime cafeteria specials. How? Well, apparently someone decided that it's "Girl Lunch" week in the cafeteria, but no one bothered to give the memo to the gents.
"Girl Lunch" week is a new initiative by the school’s feminist group to empower young women by serving meals that, according to the club president, "channel the inner goddess in every teen girl." The menu boasted such items as 'Empower-mint Smoothies' and 'Rebel Raspberry Radicchio Wraps.' And the male students? Well, they got a taste of perplexed deprivation.
"Why can't I have the 'Grrl Power Goulash'? I want to feel the burn of centuries of pent-up rage with each bite," lamented Derek, a sophomore who's taken up Zen Buddhism to deal with his teenage angst. "I just want to understand the weight of societal expectations through the medium of gourmet food."
But Derek wasn't alone. Chad (yes, another Chad) demanded, "Can I get some boob action as a side?" Perhaps not fully grasping the gravitas of the feminist movement but eager to be a part of the hullabaloo nonetheless.
The situation reached its zenith when Tim, a strapping lad on the rugby team, confronted the cafeteria staff. With tears in his eyes, he expressed his deep desire to "feel the repressed rage in a sandwich." In all fairness, Tim had been watching a lot of cooking shows during the pandemic and had recently learned the term 'umami,' which he felt he could taste in the oppression of women throughout history.
However, amidst all the chaos, the feminist group stood their ground, reiterating that the special week was meant to foster appreciation for the feminine journey. And, while they never intended to exclude anyone, they promised to make the next week "Universal Eats" with a menu catering to the broad spectrum of teenage emotions.
By the week's end, the cafeteria had run out of Grrl Power Goulash, but not before a makeshift 'Guy's Gathering Grub' was introduced. Its most popular item? 'Broccoli & Burden Bites,' because, according to the menu, "Being a teenage boy isn’t always a walk in the park either."
With "Girl Lunch" week coming to a close, the school learned a valuable lesson: in the quest for equality, everyone's emotions, regardless of gender, deserve to be plated, savored, and understood—even if through the perplexing world of high school cafeteria food.
