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HIGH SCHOOL: teens talk music "you hear the new earl sweatpants album?" heck yes! GOLF GANG!! "damn, we're so #swag"                   TRAGIC: teen reportedly "never seen again" after entering a Hot Topic "we begged him not to enter that store" "he belongs to the mall now"                   BLAZED: pre-teens have their first sips of beer "when am i gonna get high?" "i've had like three. i.....i think i'm feelin it"                   TRILL SMITH: teen claims to be "too trill for homework" "you think ima need to know algebra when i'm a famous rapper?" "bitch swerve"                   YOLO: HS teen takes it to the limit LET'S *turns hat sideways* FUCKING *puts speakers up to 80% full volume* DO THIS *drinks 2 light beers*                   REBEL: teen makes breakfast for dinner "this is not an appropriate time for that!" FUCK SOCIETY *dropkicks mom* I'M MAKING FLAP JACKS                   HIGH SCHOOL: teens talk music "you hear the new earl sweatpants album?" heck yes! GOLF GANG!! "damn, we're so #swag"                   DIESEL: teen gets pulled over "officer, i know i was speeding i was just really mad" *officer lowers shades* "so you were FAST and FURIOUS?"                   RAGER: dozens of teens flock to the local river after hearing reports that the water is "raging" "turn up!" *drowns in river*                   YUMMY: teen "hecka ticked off" after mother packs him "oatmeal raisin granola bars" for lunch "BITCH KNOWS I ONLY FUCKS WIT CHOCOLATE CHIP"                   DRUGSTEP: christian parents worried about teenage son "have you been smoking dubstep?" "mom what??" "DON'T LIE TO ME WHERE'S THE SKRILLEX"                   CIGS: teen takes up smoking to appear cooler to his peers "have you taken up smoking?" "yes, i have" "you appear cooler to me now"                   CHAMP: teen is a "winner" "I DID IT MOM. I FINALLY DID IT" *runs up to mom w/ gameboy* "I BEAT THE ELITE FOUR" "who gives a fuck? you're 19"                   MUGSHOT: arrested teen makes an odd request while being processed "can you please sepia filter this shot" "also can you hashtag it badass?"                   DRUGSTEP: christian parents worried about teenage son "have you been smoking dubstep?" "mom what??" "DON'T LIE TO ME WHERE'S THE SKRILLEX"                   LEGIT: teen gets real "i'm all about three things: pussy, weed, and kill streaks" *rips bong and plays black ops* "...the pussy can wait"                   DAFT: teens attempt to stay up all night to get lucky "if we stay awake long enough we get laid, right?" "yea that's what the song says"                   NICE: teens prepare for finals "i took like 120 mg's of adderall" "i didn't even study. i just organized my itunes library for 6 hours"                   BROAH: teens "out bro" each other "sup bro?" "sup bromo sapien?" "sup tony bromo?" "sup BROSEIDON, KING OF THE BROCEAN, SLAYER OF MERM POON"

TEEN SURF STAR DITCHES 'PHALLIC' FEARS, RIDES TOWARDS GIRLFRIEND'S HEART

SUNNY BEACH, CA - In an absolutely tubular twist, local teen surfer Sandy had to hang ten on the waves of insecurity, as she found herself washed out by the sight of her girlfriend Lisa riding the surfboard. Calling it 'a bit too phallic' for her taste, Sandy said, "Seriously dude, it was like, freaking me out!"

surfing teen

Lisa, an up-and-coming surfing prodigy, couldn't help but chuckle as she shrugged off the Freudian overtones. "Who knew my surfboard had such a...uh...vivid persona," Lisa said. "Honestly, I just thought it was good for catching waves and occasionally whacking pesky seagulls!"

With Lisa being a master wave-rider and her surfboard now crowned the 'King Phallus of the Pacific,' poor Sandy was left feeling a little more than seasick. She felt dwarfed by what she interpreted as the board's representation of dominant masculinity. "Like, I started thinking - am I not manly enough or something? It was gnarly, dude."

Eventually, after spending days sulking on the sandy sidelines and staring dejectedly at the sea, Sandy decided to tackle the issue head-on, quite literally. In a conversation as smooth as their surfboard wax, Sandy laid out her feelings to Lisa.

Lisa, obviously taken aback, paused for a moment before cracking a grin, "Are you telling me you've been jealous of my surfboard, babe?" Lisa reassured Sandy that surfing is about the love of the sea and the thrill of the ride, not about symbolizing power or masculinity. "And for the record," she added, "you're more manly than any dude I've met. You've got bigger cojones just having this conversation!"

Relieved and slightly embarrassed, Sandy agreed to drop the board beef. "Yeah, maybe I was just overthinking it," she admitted. She took a deep breath, glanced at the infamous surfboard, and broke into laughter. "Man, what a ride!"

In the end, our surf teens rode off into the sunset, hand in hand, with the mighty 'King Phallus' trailing behind. As they say in Sunny Beach, there's nothing a good wave or a good laugh can't cure!

Talk about making waves in a relationship! Surf's up, folks!