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VIOLENT: teen in critical condition after being assaulted during a game of Mario Party "i told that piece of shit not to steal my star"                   WAKE & BAKE: teen wakes up early to prepare for his school's bake sale "this has absolutely nothing to do with weed" "sorry to disappoint"                   KRUNK: high school freshmen plan a house party "we've got 16 beers. you think that'll be enough?" "yeah def" "dude this is gunna be EPIC"                   GAMER: teens play Metroid Prime "did you know Samus is a chick?" *turns off gamecube* "no" *breaks disk in half* "no i did not"                   420: "son, can you look up how many grams are in an ounce?" "oh, it's 28" "why do you know that?" "because i love... the metric system" "oh"                   OH NO: nervous teen asks out girl "b-becky, do y-you w-wanna- *vomits everywhere* *slips on vomit* *penis lands directly in vagina* "swag"                   PREP: teen frat star walks halls decked out in all Polo *sees black person wearing ecko* *hides* *whispers to himself* "help me mitt romney"                   NICE: teens prepare for finals "i took like 120 mg's of adderall" "i didn't even study. i just organized my itunes library for 6 hours"                   WONDERWALL: : teen learns guitar to pick up girls *strums a single G chord* "i'm gunna get so fucking laid"                   OH NO: nervous teen asks out girl "b-becky, do y-you w-wanna- *vomits everywhere* *slips on vomit* *penis lands directly in vagina* "swag"                   OCTOBER: teens go on a haunted hayride *throws hay onto females* "HAY GIRL" *throws more hay* "i said...HAY GIRL" "hayyyy!" *gets laid*                   POLNO: Frat teen asks bros if a "black polo and flops" is an alright outfit for his grandmas funeral "dude u gotta at least wear sperrys"                   SCIENTIFIC: teen "experiments" with homosexuality *analyzes litmus paper* "just as i hypothesized.." *writes down data* "i'm gay"                   BUDS: teens smoke marijuana "dude, could you imagine if weed was illegal?" "it is illegal" "WHAT??" *throws bong out window, flees country*                   OCTOBER: teens go on a haunted hayride *throws hay onto females* "HAY GIRL" *throws more hay* "i said...HAY GIRL" "hayyyy!" *gets laid*                   GROUNDED: teen punished for 2 weeks after parents discover internet history: hot girls boobs vaginas how can i tell if i'm gay? big dicks                   FUN: college teens live it up "i thought tonight we'd go classy, so i bought the $18 vodka instead of the $12 one" "WE'LL DRINK LIKE KINGS"                   WHIP GAME: teens hit the go kart track "mushrooms and racing was a great idea" "i feel like mario" "haha steve is just staring at the wheel"                   GTA: teen love gaming! "wait guys, don't you think this game is a little offensive to women?" *silence* "LOL JK" *kills another hooker*

TEEN SURF STAR DITCHES 'PHALLIC' FEARS, RIDES TOWARDS GIRLFRIEND'S HEART

SUNNY BEACH, CA - In an absolutely tubular twist, local teen surfer Sandy had to hang ten on the waves of insecurity, as she found herself washed out by the sight of her girlfriend Lisa riding the surfboard. Calling it 'a bit too phallic' for her taste, Sandy said, "Seriously dude, it was like, freaking me out!"

surfing teen

Lisa, an up-and-coming surfing prodigy, couldn't help but chuckle as she shrugged off the Freudian overtones. "Who knew my surfboard had such a...uh...vivid persona," Lisa said. "Honestly, I just thought it was good for catching waves and occasionally whacking pesky seagulls!"

With Lisa being a master wave-rider and her surfboard now crowned the 'King Phallus of the Pacific,' poor Sandy was left feeling a little more than seasick. She felt dwarfed by what she interpreted as the board's representation of dominant masculinity. "Like, I started thinking - am I not manly enough or something? It was gnarly, dude."

Eventually, after spending days sulking on the sandy sidelines and staring dejectedly at the sea, Sandy decided to tackle the issue head-on, quite literally. In a conversation as smooth as their surfboard wax, Sandy laid out her feelings to Lisa.

Lisa, obviously taken aback, paused for a moment before cracking a grin, "Are you telling me you've been jealous of my surfboard, babe?" Lisa reassured Sandy that surfing is about the love of the sea and the thrill of the ride, not about symbolizing power or masculinity. "And for the record," she added, "you're more manly than any dude I've met. You've got bigger cojones just having this conversation!"

Relieved and slightly embarrassed, Sandy agreed to drop the board beef. "Yeah, maybe I was just overthinking it," she admitted. She took a deep breath, glanced at the infamous surfboard, and broke into laughter. "Man, what a ride!"

In the end, our surf teens rode off into the sunset, hand in hand, with the mighty 'King Phallus' trailing behind. As they say in Sunny Beach, there's nothing a good wave or a good laugh can't cure!

Talk about making waves in a relationship! Surf's up, folks!