Menu

WOAH: teen finds out the secret to girls "it's all about politeness" *pulls out seat* "you look lovely" *ripsticks directly into her vagina*                   CENSORED: 10th grade teen refuses to say "the n word" during a class reading of To Kill A Mockingbird "there were black kids in that class"                   YUMMY: teen "hecka ticked off" after mother packs him "oatmeal raisin granola bars" for lunch "BITCH KNOWS I ONLY FUCKS WIT CHOCOLATE CHIP"                   TEEN TALK: "is the double condom method more effective?" "a condom inside a condom? that's like inception dude" "...more like CONTRACEPTION"                   WOAH: teens get rowdy while driving "yo call that guy a fag and then drive off" "FAG!" "haha yes, we are so badass" *everyone high fives*                   SCIENTIFIC: studies indicate that 3 out of every 4 teens smoke marijuana. Coincidentally, scientists also found that 1 in 4 teens are nerds                   OLD: teen is highly confused "dad what's that?" "its called a newspaper son" "does it get wifi?" "no, its just paper" "well that's retarded"                   HIGH: teens smoke while their parents are out "WAIT get the dog outta here. he'll tell my mom" *stares at dog for 30 seconds* "you're right"                   EARLY BIRD: teen gets woken up "why would you wake me up at such an UNGODLY HOUR??" dude it's 10:30 "JESUS CHRIST ITS PRACTICALLY YESTERDAY"                   ATTITUDE: teen fired from pizza joint for talking back over the phone "how much will a large pizza feed?" "one if ur a fuckin fatass"                   LANDLOCKED: Nebraska teens think about the beach "what do you think the ocean is like?" "it's probably hella gay" "i don't even like salt"                   BARGAIN: teen buys weed for the first time *hands dealer $20* *gets handed bag of chopped leaves* *smells bag* "woah this is some dank kush"                   ONLY 90s KIDS: teen tries new pickup lines "damn girl you give me goosebumps cause you are R.L. Fine af" "turn to page 69 if you wanna bang"                   HOT: teens love sexting! 9:14 - i wanna sex u up 9:15 - wat u gna do 2 me? 9:15 - ima stick my penis in ur *goes on wikipedia* 9:24 - labia                   LANDLOCKED: Nebraska teens think about the beach "what do you think the ocean is like?" "it's probably hella gay" "i don't even like salt"                   WOW: teen forcibly removed from house by father after he claimed to "not like Justin Timberlake" "YOU WILL RESPECT JT'S TALENT IN THIS HOME"                   NO HOMO: local 6th grader claims he would "suck dick for some lunchables" He further stated that he doesn't know what "suck dick" means                   TEEN CRISIS: "hello 911? yes. my internet went out in the middle of a jerk sesh" "what do you mean this isn't an emergency??" "put obama on"                   SMOOTH: teen uses a classic pickup line "you like marijuana?" ummm, yeah! "marijuwanna suck my dick?" *gets laid so hard*

TEEN HACKERS TARGET AMOURANTH'S ONLYFANS

A plot worthy of a Hollywood movie has unfolded in the underbelly of the teenage hacker community as a group of aspiring code wizards embarked on a mission they dubbed "Operation Free Amouranth". The objective? To hack into the OnlyFans account of the prominent creator, Amouranth.



In an elaborate scheme that involved lines of code, endless energy drinks, and bedrooms-turned-hacker lairs, these daring teenagers set out to "liberate" Amouranth's exclusive content. They hoped to make it freely available to their cash-strapped compatriots who are unable to afford the subscription fees.

While this story sounds like a dubious blend of 'Mr. Robot' and 'American Pie', it did expose an ethical conundrum amongst this tech-savvy demographic. "We just wanted to level the playing field," said one anonymous teen hacker. "I mean, it's not like we can just ask our parents for money to subscribe to an OnlyFans account. That's one allowance conversation nobody wants."

Meanwhile, the target of this digital heist, Amouranth, remains unphased by the attempted infiltration. She noted, "At least it's getting people interested in cybersecurity and coding. Maybe they'll end up making a career out of it."

In a somewhat ironic twist, it seems the whole operation was thwarted not by advanced security measures or cybersecurity experts, but by the sheer challenge of coordinating a group of teenagers.

One member lamented, "We couldn't even agree on when to have our Zoom meetings. Timmy had soccer practice, Sarah couldn't miss the new episode of 'Stranger Things', and don't get me started on Kyle's mom making him do chores."

This just in: Teenagers may be skilled hackers, but they're still teenagers.

The unfolding drama has sparked a conversation around digital ethics, with experts advising parents to talk to their children about respect for digital content and the legal implications of hacking.

As this story continues to develop, let us remember that hacking into someone's OnlyFans account is, in fact, illegal. A more useful endeavor might be to develop coding skills for legitimate purposes - like creating a top-notch cybersecurity system, or perhaps a more secure way to hide their browser history.

Until next time, remember folks: stick to the legal side of the internet. Not all heists lead to a glorious Ocean's Eleven ending. More often, it's just you grounded with no WiFi.