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JOURNALISM: Teen girl claimed she was "literally dying" after reading a text from her friend. Sources indicate she is in fact, not dying.                   KRUNK: high school freshmen plan a house party "we've got 16 beers. you think that'll be enough?" "yeah def" "dude this is gunna be EPIC"                   CANDIE: Teen sent to office after making a 'shank' by sucking on a Push-Pop™ over a period of time "7th grades tough gotta stay strapped"                   BONDING: teen doesn't want to go to school "dad, it's just real fcking gay" "honestly son, you have a point" *father rolls fat ass blunt*                   FLIRT: teens interact sexually "is that an iPhone in your pants or are you just happy to see me?" "it's a Samsung Galaxy you stupid bitch"                   RADICAL: "hip dad" interacts with teenage children "sup kids? you guys feeling YOLO today?" dad no "this dinner sure is MAJOR SWAG" DAD WHY                   BUSTED: a shirtless teen was seen smoking a cigarette while riding a longboard. Police arrested him for being "too cool" in a school zone                   BUD: teen regrets getting high on marijuana before school "why are your eyes red?" "umm, i was riding my bike with the windows open" "what?"                   MIA: "mom i lost my swag!" "where did you last YOLO?" "i already checked my snapback collection!" "well i'm sure it'll TURN UP"                   BADASS: teen smokes for first time "yeah i found this blunt in my moms ash tray" *lights cig* *coughs* "that good kush and alcohol son!"                   YUMMY: teen "hecka ticked off" after mother packs him "oatmeal raisin granola bars" for lunch "BITCH KNOWS I ONLY FUCKS WIT CHOCOLATE CHIP"                   MIA: "mom i lost my swag!" "where did you last YOLO?" "i already checked my snapback collection!" "well i'm sure it'll TURN UP"                   MODERN WARFARE: Teen decides to enlist for military after raising his kill/death ratio to 1.5 in Call of Duty "i'm ready for anything now"                   CHECK UP: teen vists doctor "so are you sexually active?" no "any drugs or alcohol?" nope "i see. well my prognosis is you're a fuckin nerd"                   YUMMY: teen "hecka ticked off" after mother packs him "oatmeal raisin granola bars" for lunch "BITCH KNOWS I ONLY FUCKS WIT CHOCOLATE CHIP"                   <3: teens go out to a romantic dinner "can we have a bottle of your finest sizzurp" *mariachi dubstep band* "babe will you turn up with me?"                   BRAWL: teen loses fight to local bully "i don't get it. i watched the whole 1st season of dragon ball z" "i should have destroyed him"                   CRIMINAL: teen sent to a youth correctional facility for inappropriate internet usage "he used 8 hashtags" ...so? "on facebook" LOCK HIM UP                   KILLER KUSH: teens get high "bro i think i'm dead" "ur just freaking out" "i'm srs" *turns into ghost* "damn, that kush was dank" *hi fives*

TEEN HACKERS TARGET AMOURANTH'S ONLYFANS

A plot worthy of a Hollywood movie has unfolded in the underbelly of the teenage hacker community as a group of aspiring code wizards embarked on a mission they dubbed "Operation Free Amouranth". The objective? To hack into the OnlyFans account of the prominent creator, Amouranth.



In an elaborate scheme that involved lines of code, endless energy drinks, and bedrooms-turned-hacker lairs, these daring teenagers set out to "liberate" Amouranth's exclusive content. They hoped to make it freely available to their cash-strapped compatriots who are unable to afford the subscription fees.

While this story sounds like a dubious blend of 'Mr. Robot' and 'American Pie', it did expose an ethical conundrum amongst this tech-savvy demographic. "We just wanted to level the playing field," said one anonymous teen hacker. "I mean, it's not like we can just ask our parents for money to subscribe to an OnlyFans account. That's one allowance conversation nobody wants."

Meanwhile, the target of this digital heist, Amouranth, remains unphased by the attempted infiltration. She noted, "At least it's getting people interested in cybersecurity and coding. Maybe they'll end up making a career out of it."

In a somewhat ironic twist, it seems the whole operation was thwarted not by advanced security measures or cybersecurity experts, but by the sheer challenge of coordinating a group of teenagers.

One member lamented, "We couldn't even agree on when to have our Zoom meetings. Timmy had soccer practice, Sarah couldn't miss the new episode of 'Stranger Things', and don't get me started on Kyle's mom making him do chores."

This just in: Teenagers may be skilled hackers, but they're still teenagers.

The unfolding drama has sparked a conversation around digital ethics, with experts advising parents to talk to their children about respect for digital content and the legal implications of hacking.

As this story continues to develop, let us remember that hacking into someone's OnlyFans account is, in fact, illegal. A more useful endeavor might be to develop coding skills for legitimate purposes - like creating a top-notch cybersecurity system, or perhaps a more secure way to hide their browser history.

Until next time, remember folks: stick to the legal side of the internet. Not all heists lead to a glorious Ocean's Eleven ending. More often, it's just you grounded with no WiFi.