DOWNTOWN - Local teens have found themselves in an ironic pickle as the recent legalization of marijuana has paradoxically made it harder for them to get their hands on the green stuff.
"It's like some cruel joke, dude," says 17-year-old Tommy "T-Bong" Jefferson, a self-professed cannabis connoisseur. "The Man says it's okay to light up, but only if you're over 21. It's like waving a candy bar in front of a kid and then locking it in a safe!"
Before the landmark ruling, teens like Tommy relied on the classic 'older sibling connection' or the elusive 'guy that knows a guy.' However, with the new legislation in place, previous suppliers have found it easier and more profitable to enter the legal market, leaving our young heroes high and dry - emphasis on the 'dry.'
Another teen, Jenny "Joints" O'Connor, voiced her annoyance at the predicament. "I mean, they keep going on about the tax benefits and reducing criminal activity, but what about the high school parties? We're down to spin-the-bottle and cheap beer. It's tragic, dude!"
Even school nerds are feeling the burn. Benny "Brownie" Turing, who used to bake a 'special' batch of brownies for the seniors, complained about the shortage of supply. "It's getting so bad I might have to start selling actual brownies," he lamented. "No one wants that, man!"
Local authorities have taken notice of the teenagers' predicament but aren't particularly sympathetic. Chief of Police, Officer Stone, commented dryly, "They'll just have to find another hobby. Maybe something like sports or school work."
As the legal cannabis dispensaries flourish, local teens are begrudgingly coming to terms with their unexpected plight. Paradoxically, the 'good old days' of clandestine deals are being fondly reminisced about in high school corridors.
As Tommy concludes, "Who'd have thought we'd miss the thrill of the chase, man? The forbidden fruit was sweeter, I guess."
And so, the haze has lifted, revealing the sobering reality for these youngsters - a world where obtaining weed has never been more legal... or more challenging.
