SPLITVILLE, USA - Welcome to the "Mow-narchy!" In a development that could only be compared to choosing between a vegan and gluten-free diet, local teen Brad of Splitville has flabbergasted neighbors by committing the egregious sin of mowing only half his lawn.
"We're bamboozled," exclaimed next-door neighbor Ms. Patty. "One side is as neat as a post-quarantine haircut, while the other half looks like Tom Hanks in 'Cast Away.' It's like he's living in two seasons at once!"
Brad's half-and-half lawn has effectively cleaved the neighborhood in twain. While some residents scream "weed apocalypse," others salute it as a fresh take on the manicured monotony of suburbia, calling it "avant-garden."
Lawn care activist Betty "Compost Queen" Smith commented, "He's raising the blades of resistance, ain't he? Gen Z’s in a turf war against boredom, and they won’t be sod off!”
When asked about his motivation, Brad, with a nonchalance that could only be rivaled by a cat ignoring its owner, shrugged and said, "Grass half-full or half-empty, doesn't it all depend on your perspective?"
As of now, no one knows if this 'mow-vement' will catch on or be 'cut down' in its prime. Until then, as one local tweeter put it, "Brad's lawn is like a bad haircut, it's growing on us." Stay tuned for more on this grass-gusting saga.
