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CHILLIN: teens kick it! "i'm bored" wanna like, go outside? "out ..side?" *squints eyes and stares teen down* just fuckin witchu *rips bong*                   MAIL: teen writes love letter to gf babe, ilu more then weed. well, u nd weed r prolly bout equal bc i luv weed alot but still love, steve                   LANDLOCKED: Nebraska teens think about the beach "what do you think the ocean is like?" "it's probably hella gay" "i don't even like salt"                   BRAWL: teen loses fight to local bully "i don't get it. i watched the whole 1st season of dragon ball z" "i should have destroyed him"                   UNDERCOVER: mysterious teen tries to disuade his peers "maybe we should wait until we're 21 to drink" *moustache falls off* "WTF DAD"                   TRAGIC: teen reportedly "never seen again" after entering a Hot Topic "we begged him not to enter that store" "he belongs to the mall now"                   POT: teen claims to be experiencing marijuana withdrawal "the room...it's so cold" bro u smoked for the first time yesterday "U DONT KNO ME"                   GRADES: teen girl prays she doesn't fail her history test "anything but an F, my parents will kill me!" boys reply "i guess she wants the D"                   SCIENTIFIC: teen "experiments" with homosexuality *analyzes litmus paper* "just as i hypothesized.." *writes down data* "i'm gay"                   DATING: teen breaks up with girlfriend "it's just not- *curls dumbbell* WORKING OUT for me" that's funny "i kno rite. but still we're thru"                   FLAMER: teen boy's house burns down due to his scented candle collection. Firefighters comment "it's the gayest tradegy i've seen in years"                   YOU GIVE BUD A BAD NAME: teen gets creative "i named my piece Bong Jovi" dude that's sick *rips bong so dang hard* "WE'RE HALFWAY THEREEE OH                   WOW: teen forcibly removed from house by father after he claimed to "not like Justin Timberlake" "YOU WILL RESPECT JT'S TALENT IN THIS HOME"                   FISH ARE FRIENDS: a white girl posts a facebook status Becky: i'm FINna watch some shark week! Hannah: omg so creative! Becky: love uuuuuuu                   FLAMER: teen boy's house burns down due to his scented candle collection. Firefighters comment "it's the gayest tradegy i've seen in years"                   ROMANCE: teens go on a date to see Monsters University *girl tries to make out with guy* "BITCH SWERVE I'M TRYNA RELIVE MY CHILDHOOD"                   ROCK: 13 year old considers Creed to be "classic rock" "hey dad, let's spark a doobie and listen to creed" "son, just stop"                   :'(: Girl found passed out after what friends call a 'white girl rampage' "becky was wayyy out of control" "she had likee 11 mochafrapss!!"                   RAP GAME: teen claims to have "2nd degree murdered" the track after rhyming "zimmerman" with "swimmer tan" however a florida jury disagreed

DECAF DISARRAY: JAVA JUNKIES JITTERY OVER CAF-FREE CATASTROPHE

BEANVILLE, USA - An uproar is brewing in the quiet town of Beanville, and it's enough to make any coffee enthusiast spill their precious liquid gold. Local teen barista, Beanie, has been serving decaf lattes instead of the regular caffeinated version at the Beanville Brew. In a twist of events as steamy as the frothy milk on top, she claims she did it for a perfectly sensible reason: to help the town "chill out."

Teen Drinking Coffee

"Everybody in this town is always so wound up, always in a hurry, always stressed," said Beanie, while expertly frothing soy milk with a nonchalant air. "I thought, maybe if they had less caffeine, they might slow down, enjoy life a bit more, you know?"

However, Beanie's blend switch-up has the whole town in a froth. From the regular Joe looking for his morning pick-me-up to the high-strung lawyer demanding her daily triple-shot espresso, the beans of discontent have been spilled.

"I used to love coming to Beanville Brew. Beanie made the best coffee in town," said local librarian, Marianne Bookbinder. "But lately, I've been struggling to keep my eyes open during my afternoon reading sessions. I thought I was getting old, but no! It was the decaf!"

Beanie's decision has created a ripple effect throughout the community, shaking up routines and stirring up debates. Local high school teacher, Mark, claimed he almost dozed off during his own lecture on Shakespeare. Meanwhile, Beanville's Mayor, Earl Grey, reportedly yawned seven times during his speech on the importance of town solidarity, causing speculation about the town's energy levels.

When the decaf debacle was finally uncovered, the town was in a frenzy, with some locals demanding Beanie's dismissal. Others, however, started to notice a strange calmness descend upon them and began to embrace their decaffeinated lifestyle. Yoga classes became fuller, meditation groups emerged, and parks started to buzz with relaxed, unhurried life.

Beanie, unfazed by the uproar, continues to serve her decaf creations with a sly grin. "Isn't it ironic?" she asked. "All this drama over trying to chill out. But hey, you know what they say – no brew, no fuss."

In the end, whether Beanie's "chill out" coffee experiment will result in a Beanville revolt or a newfound appreciation for the slower, decaffeinated life remains to be seen. But one thing is clear – the next time you order a cup of joe at the Beanville Brew, you might want to specify: "Regular, please!"