Menu

CIGS: teen takes up smoking to appear cooler to his peers "have you taken up smoking?" "yes, i have" "you appear cooler to me now"                   TRAGEDY: local teen legitimately "dies from boredom" "he forgot to bring his iphone with him in the bathroom" "sad day for teens everywhere"                   BUSTED: a shirtless teen was seen smoking a cigarette while riding a longboard. Police arrested him for being "too cool" in a school zone                   TEEN TALK: "is the double condom method more effective?" "a condom inside a condom? that's like inception dude" "...more like CONTRACEPTION"                   OUCH: Teen sent to office after being wrongly accused of texting in class "jeez i was just staring at my dick" "no one texts me anyway"                   COLLEGE: teen takes Adderall to help his grades "i'm gunna crush this test yo" *next day* "wait, you have to STUDY also??" *fails hard*                   CHIVALRY: teen cooks a romantic dinner for his girlfriend "are you enjoying your ham and cheese hot pocket babe?" "no. not at all."                   OUCH: Teen 'eats shit' while attempting to longboard to class "ive been practicing all summer!" "fuck i ripped my favorite plaid shorts"                   BAD HAIR DAY: Teen girl decides to leave school after realizing her hair is "disgusting" an eyewitness stated "i'd still fuck her"                   GRADES: teen girl prays she doesn't fail her history test "anything but an F, my parents will kill me!" boys reply "i guess she wants the D"                   SENSUAL: teen sets up for a perfect date "candle lit dinner, bottle of red wine, and a copy of spy kids on blu ray" *gets 100 blowjobs*                   RAGER: dozens of teens flock to the local river after hearing reports that the water is "raging" "turn up!" *drowns in river*                   SUPER SMASH BROTHAS: teen claims Nintendo is racist "there's no black people in super smash" well, there IS donkey ko- *gets ass beat hard*                   STYLE: teen wears new scarf to school "what's that bro? a cum rag?" "nah, it's a pussy eating bib" *walks into girl's locker room*                   SENSUAL: teen sets up for a perfect date "candle lit dinner, bottle of red wine, and a copy of spy kids on blu ray" *gets 100 blowjobs*                   NICE: teens prepare for finals "i took like 120 mg's of adderall" "i didn't even study. i just organized my itunes library for 6 hours"                   FLAMER: teen boy's house burns down due to his scented candle collection. Firefighters comment "it's the gayest tradegy i've seen in years"                   RIPPED: teens claim to have smoked that celebrity kush "i'm emma stoned" "i'm baked shelton" "i can't think of one...but i'm high af"                   FADEAD: teens try drugs for the first time "dude i smoked like eleven beers" one teen claims "i drank like 2 weeds and drove" one teen dead

HOT OR NOT: TEEN EDITION - MUFASA ON THE HOT SEAT

NAMPA, ID — In our latest "Hot or Not" segment, we venture into the coastal winds of Huntington Beach to probe the thoughts of Gen Z about a non-traditional heartthrob. This week's contender? None other than the lion king himself, Mufasa.


Kicking off the conversation, we meet Chloe, a 16-year-old beach volleyball enthusiast. She flicks a sandy blonde hair off her face and chuckles. "Mufasa? Well, isn't that a wild choice. But, yeah, he's got that deep, soothing voice, and his mane is totally rad. So, yeah, I'd say hot."

Next up is 17-year-old skater girl, Zoe. She quirks an eyebrow at the question but grins nonetheless. "Mufasa, huh? That's left-field. But he is kinda strong and powerful, isn't he? Also, who doesn't love a guy who's great with kids? So, yeah, definitely hot."

Finally, we chat with Mia, a 15-year-old budding photographer. She blushes at the question but nods. "Um, is it weird to say a lion's hot? 'Cause Mufasa is. He's brave, caring, and he's got a majestic look. Plus, he’s a king. If that's not hot, I don't know what is."

So there you have it, folks. Mufasa, the wise and noble lion, has managed to make the hearts of Huntington Beach teens flutter, proving once again that royalty is always hot. Stay tuned for next week's "Hot or Not" where another celebrity gets thrown into the fiery den of Gen Z opinions.