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VIOLENT: teen in critical condition after being assaulted during a game of Mario Party "i told that piece of shit not to steal my star"                   WOW: teen forcibly removed from house by father after he claimed to "not like Justin Timberlake" "YOU WILL RESPECT JT'S TALENT IN THIS HOME"                   BANGIN: teen goes on date w/ cute female "how'd it go?" let's just say i'm *lowers shades* not a virgin anymore *still totally a virgin*                   DUDE: teens make their Breaking Bad predictions "dude badgers gunna be the new heisenberg" *rips bong so fucking hard* "that wud be dopeeee"                   BEEFIN: 7th grader claims to "have beef" w/ his mother after she forgot to pack Zebra Cakes in his lunchbox "bitch knows i need my z cakes"                   BADASS: teen smokes for first time "yeah i found this blunt in my moms ash tray" *lights cig* *coughs* "that good kush and alcohol son!"                   BADASS: teen smokes for first time "yeah i found this blunt in my moms ash tray" *lights cig* *coughs* "that good kush and alcohol son!"                   TRIPPY: teens drop acid for the first time "grasshoppers are the dubstep of nature" "holy shit bro that's so deep" "i'm a young socrates"                   LANDLOCKED: Nebraska teens think about the beach "what do you think the ocean is like?" "it's probably hella gay" "i don't even like salt"                   COMEDY: teens finish watching Breaking Bad "wow, more like breaking GOOD" "...i said, more like break-" "we heard you the first time dick"                   GAMECUBE: teens gear up for Super Smash Brothers Melee "i'm green falco" "i'm normal falco" "i'm red falco" "i'm ice climbers" "...fag"                   LIFE CHANGING: teen has an epiphany while driving "what if... *slams on brakes* "WHAT IF THEY MADE DISPOSABLE SOCKS"                   VIDEO GAMES: teen gets upset while playing Halo "why's this homo called master chef he never even cooks" "it's chief" "he's not even indian"                   OBAMA CARES: teens have no idea "the government is gonna shut down!?" "yea something about a tea party" "wow politics is so gay"                   GAMECUBE: teens gear up for Super Smash Brothers Melee "i'm green falco" "i'm normal falco" "i'm red falco" "i'm ice climbers" "...fag"                   BAKED: teens get so high on marijuana they "forgot the alamo" "the what??" "DUDE WE WERE SUPPOSED TO REMEMBER THIS SHIT"                   FUN: teen boys go to their first college party together "we're gunna pick up so many bitches" Reports indicate they "picked up no bitches"                   UNEMPLOYED: teen gets turned down at local super market for putting "rolls hella dope blunts" on his resume "how is that not a good skill??"                   LIFE CHANGING: teen has an epiphany while driving "what if... *slams on brakes* "WHAT IF THEY MADE DISPOSABLE SOCKS"

FIVE EASY FATHER'S DAY GIFTS


Damn, wasn't it just Mother's Day like two minutes ago? Whatever, we at teen news know damn well you haven't bought anything yet, so we've personally partnered with Amazon's Jeff Bezos and his drones to deliver whatever useless shit your dad doesn't want this year.





5) Magazines - Shop Amazon - Father's Day Sale: Up to 83% Off on Top Men's Magazines

For the people who have fathers with a fetish for the experience of waiting in doctor's offices.






4) Gift Cards - Shop Amazon - Father's Day Gift Cards - Free Gift Box and One-Day Shipping

Well, if you have any siblings you can definitely rank up in terms of "kid most likely to be sacrificed to some pagan god" by getting your Dad a gift card.  Some people are into that though, so, I mean, it's something.





3) Electronics - Shop Amazon - Electronics Father's Day Gift Guide

Keep in mind your dad was born when Rock N Roll could actually get you laid and iPhones didn't even exist.  Electronics aren't a bad gift, but your old man will most likely give up on figuring the thing out and you'll end up overpaying for a dusty bedroom decoration.




2) Watches - Shop Amazon - Take 25% Off - Father's Day Watch Savings

Great idea guy! Let's get the oldest dude I know a device that let's him known just how much fucking older he's getting by the second.



1) Car Supplies - Shop Amazon - Save Up to 45% on Automotive Gifts for Dad

Cars are the ultimate method of transportation for dads.  They take them to Home Depot and back on the reg.  Go ahead and buy your dad some bullshit car supplies.