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WOAH: teen finds out the secret to girls "it's all about politeness" *pulls out seat* "you look lovely" *ripsticks directly into her vagina*                   CIGS: teen takes up smoking to appear cooler to his peers "have you taken up smoking?" "yes, i have" "you appear cooler to me now"                   HIGH TIMES: teens smoke weed after school "dude... sinks are like showers but for your hands" *passes joint* ..bro that's fucking adorable                   MUGSHOT: arrested teen makes an odd request while being processed "can you please sepia filter this shot" "also can you hashtag it badass?"                   GAME: teen joins a sports team in hopes of getting girls "sup ladies, i'm the quarterman for our school's hoopball squad" *has infinity sex*                   ICEBREAKER: teen screws up a classic pick-up line "so babe you ever weigh a polar bear" "what?" *breaks ice on girl's head* "wanna make out"                   BUSTED: a shirtless teen was seen smoking a cigarette while riding a longboard. Police arrested him for being "too cool" in a school zone                   GAMER: teens play Metroid Prime "did you know Samus is a chick?" *turns off gamecube* "no" *breaks disk in half* "no i did not"                   HOLLAWEEN: Teens discuss their halloween costumes "im dressin up as a mocha frappe gonna be watchin the bitches flock" "im going as molly"                   ATTITUDE: teen fired from pizza joint for talking back over the phone "how much will a large pizza feed?" "one if ur a fuckin fatass"                   PUBERTY: 16 y/o feels confident with his newly grown facial hair "one packet of cigarettes please" no "okay!" *moonwalks out of 7/11*                   TEXTING: teens talk girls "dude she just texted me hey" ..so? "WITH TWO Y'S" *high fives so hard they break the fucking sound barrier*                   DIESEL: teen gets pulled over "officer, i know i was speeding i was just really mad" *officer lowers shades* "so you were FAST and FURIOUS?"                   TWITTER: teen faces crucial decision "i wanna rewrite my typo'd tweet but it already got three favs" "MY LIFE IS PAIN" *jumps off bridge*                   PUBERTY: 16 y/o feels confident with his newly grown facial hair "one packet of cigarettes please" no "okay!" *moonwalks out of 7/11*                   NEITHER: "which fedora should i wear?"                   SCIENCE PROJECT: "as you can see, the air flows through the water bec-" THIS IS A BONG "it's called a water pipe" GET OUT OF MY CLASSROOM                   KOOLS: teen buys cigs to impress girls "can i get a pack of boges?" "what kind?" *lowers shades* "the kind that gives you the most cancer"                   YUMMY: teen "hecka ticked off" after mother packs him "oatmeal raisin granola bars" for lunch "BITCH KNOWS I ONLY FUCKS WIT CHOCOLATE CHIP"

WTF HAPPENED TO THE RADIO (PART 2): WORST CHRISTMAS SONGS





Teens everywhere hate the music apocalypse that has spawned during the holiday season.  Specifically, a community outlaws certain songs and breaks down why.


BAKERSFIELD, CA - A coalition of teens has officially banned four songs from a local top 40 station because of the psychological effects they were having on members of the population.  "Something was happening, and we were determined to get to the roots of it and put an end to it." The leader of the high school's conspiracy club said at a press conference explaining the decision to ban Wonderful Christmastime, I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Close, Frosty The Snowman, and You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch.

"In a double blind study we found that people who listened to Wonderful Christmastime by Paul McCartney within the last week were more likely to have listened to more dad music in the same period." Professor Abraham Steinberg, a well known anti-dad music activist continued "If people, especially young people, start listening to bands like the Beatles then there may be an event similar to that which prompted the Dark Ages.  A cultural regression could easily cause the next degeneration of society."

You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch, was recently declared by the NAACP to be "racist" considering that "Mr. Grinch" was the only known member of his species in all of whoville.

evil? or just another example of white privilege

Frosty the Snowman was deemed inappropriate because of it's crystal clear reference to crack cocaine.  Samantha Rockwell, a cheerleader, responded "to me it's black and white, and let's just say I would definitely prefer the white."

MILF culture led to the banning of I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus because teens were "dressing up as Santa Claus" and "banging each other's moms". When your bro is your little brother's pops, you might have to pop your bro for being a little bit of a dick.

why dont u come on down to the north pole


25 Days of Christmas
December 1st Advent Calendars
December 2nd Holiday Decorating
December 3rd WTF Happened To The Radio Part 1
December 4th Christmas Trees Are Just Plants
December 5th Hanukkah In Review
December 6th "Happy Holidays"
December 7th Ebay Christmas Ornaments
December 8th Dear Santa,
December 9th Holiday Drinks
December 10th Pumpkin Spice Latte VS. Peppermint Mocha Frappuccino
December 11th Snow Blows
December 12nd XXX-Mas
December 13th Desolation of Smaug (Christmas)
December 14th WTF Happened To The Radio Part 2
December 15th Wait, Christmas Is Religious AF
December 16th Rudolph - The Ginger Reindeer
December 17th What To Get Your Girlfriend For Christmas
December 18th Chlamydia - The Real Grinch
December 19th Why You Want To Be On The Naughty List
December 20th Christmas Movies...That Will Get You Laid
December 21st Looking Back At The End Of The World
December 22nd Stocking Stuffers (NSFW)
December 23rd Last Second Gifts
December 24th Twas The Night Before Christmas
December 25th Merry F****** Christmas