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BUDS: teens smoke marijuana "dude, could you imagine if weed was illegal?" "it is illegal" "WHAT??" *throws bong out window, flees country*                   VIOLENT: teen in critical condition after being assaulted during a game of Mario Party "i told that piece of shit not to steal my star"                   QUEERS OF WAR: teens argue over Xbox Live "suck my dick!" "no you suck my dick, bitch!" *teens exchange numbers and suck each other's dicks*                   NEITHER: "which fedora should i wear?"                   KRUNK: high school freshmen plan a house party "we've got 16 beers. you think that'll be enough?" "yeah def" "dude this is gunna be EPIC"                   BONDING: teen doesn't want to go to school "dad, it's just real fcking gay" "honestly son, you have a point" *father rolls fat ass blunt*                   WOW: teen forcibly removed from house by father after he claimed to "not like Justin Timberlake" "YOU WILL RESPECT JT'S TALENT IN THIS HOME"                   LEGIT: teen gets real "i'm all about three things: pussy, weed, and kill streaks" *rips bong and plays black ops* "...the pussy can wait"                   STUDY: teen crams for exam PREPARE THE LUBE MOTHER *jams textbook into anus* i guess you can say ill be pulling the answers...OUT OF MY ASS                   FUNDONT: Teen hospitalized after tragic fondue accident "i thought the bitches would want this warm cheesy dick" "they didnt"                   SUPER SMASH BROTHAS: teen claims Nintendo is racist "there's no black people in super smash" well, there IS donkey ko- *gets ass beat hard*                   BUSTED: teens get pulled over on the highway "is there any marijuana in the vehicle?" "lol of course dude it's the HIGHway" "have fun kids"                   IRL: teen forgets he's not playing GTA V *goes sixty mph on the highway* *jumps out of car* *gets up and walks away*                   POPPIN: local teen overdoses on swagger "once he popped his fourth collar his neck couldn't take the pressure and just snapped" "RIP chad"                   SUPER SMASH BROTHAS: teen claims Nintendo is racist "there's no black people in super smash" well, there IS donkey ko- *gets ass beat hard*                   UNEMPLOYED: teen gets turned down at local super market for putting "rolls hella dope blunts" on his resume "how is that not a good skill??"                   CHILLIN: teens kick it! "i'm bored" wanna like, go outside? "out ..side?" *squints eyes and stares teen down* just fuckin witchu *rips bong*                   WORK: teen seeks job "it says here u defeated the elite 4 on ur 1st try" yes sir "congrats, u got the job. ur starting salary is $1,000,000"                   WHY: teens can't understand their failures with women "i wore my best fedora!" did you show her ur beyblades? "no i forgot" rookie mistake

WTF HAPPENED TO THE RADIO (PART 1): WORST CHRISTMAS MUSIC

Happy holidays, in day 3 of the 25 days of teen news Christmas teen news examines one of the absolute worst parts of the month of December. The fact that a few of your local top 40 stations are switching from your favorite overplayed jams to 24/7 non-stop Christmas music.  A blessing? I don't think so.


All I want for Christmas is you, [Christmas Songs]
All I want for Christmas is you, [Christmas Songs]
All I want for Christmas is you, [Christmas Songs]

The Post-Thanksgiving music apocalypse that happens every year without fail is upon us.  Everytime you drive to Target, walk around Target, or hear a Target commercial your ears are immediately assaulted with the sounds of Christmas joy.  Target did not pay us for us to use Target five times and counting in our article, but be sure to check out your local Target for the best Christmas shopping deals. Target. Expect More. Pay less.

Part 2 will focus specifically on some of the worst Christmas songs, but let's get to the crux of why teens hate Christmas songs.  When teens listen to music they listen for one of four things: Skrillex, Coldplay, Rihanna, or Drake.  Or more generally: dubstep, new age rock music, pop music, or Drake.  Teen News can prove this with a few responses from actual teens.

"i love drake" - Jill
"i love drake" - Beth
"i love drake" - Tiffany aka "Tiff"

teens also love coldplay


 
and some teens also love rihanna


dubstep, the inventor of skrillex

Basically, teens don't HATE  Basically, teens don't HATE Christmas music they just hate that it isn't Drake.  What the fuck happened to the radio? They took Drake off the radio for a whole month, what the drake fuck.  Check back sometime tomorrow for "Christmas Trees Are Just Plants" and scroll down to see New Jersey legend and teen sympathizer Tony Soprano wondering the same things you are.    
25 Days of Christmas
December 1st Advent Calendars
December 2nd Holiday Decorating
December 3rd WTF Happened To The Radio Part 1
December 4th Christmas Trees Are Just Plants
December 5th Hanukkah In Review
December 6th "Happy Holidays"
December 7th Ebay Christmas Ornaments
December 8th Dear Santa,
December 9th Holiday Drinks
December 10th Pumpkin Spice Latte VS. Peppermint Mocha Frappuccino
December 11th Snow Blows
December 12nd XXX-Mas
December 13th Desolation of Smaug (Christmas)
December 14th WTF Happened To The Radio Part 2
December 15th Wait, Christmas Is Religious AF
December 16th Rudolph - The Ginger Reindeer
December 17th What To Get Your Girlfriend For Christmas
December 18th Chlamydia - The Real Grinch
December 19th Why You Want To Be On The Naughty List
December 20th Christmas Movies...That Will Get You Laid
December 21st Looking Back At The End Of The World
December 22nd Stocking Stuffers (NSFW)
December 23rd Last Second Gifts
December 24th Twas The Night Before Christmas
December 25th Merry F****** Christmas