Menu

EASY LIVIN: teens are out of school and ready to let loose for the summer! "yo man i'm bored af" "me too"                   FILIBUSTED: student government faces a shut down "our spring fling should be 70s themed" "80s OR NOTHING" presently no agreement is in sight                   POT: teen claims to be experiencing marijuana withdrawal "the room...it's so cold" bro u smoked for the first time yesterday "U DONT KNO ME"                   GTA: teen love gaming! "wait guys, don't you think this game is a little offensive to women?" *silence* "LOL JK" *kills another hooker*                   BOSS: teen gets his homework checked "ya i didn't do it" "you don't have an excuse?" "EXCUSE me but how bout you get the FUCK outta my face"                   WHY: teens can't understand their failures with women "i wore my best fedora!" did you show her ur beyblades? "no i forgot" rookie mistake                   BAZINGA: teen breaks up with girlfriend for complicated reasons "she liked the big bang theory" "i just couldn't respect her as a person"                   EASY LIVIN: teens are out of school and ready to let loose for the summer! "yo man i'm bored af" "me too"                   JOB: teen gets interviewed "why should we hire you?" "i have 1000 followers on twitter" "how many do you follow?" "...1200" "GET OUTTA HERE"                   PUBERTY: 16 y/o feels confident with his newly grown facial hair "one packet of cigarettes please" no "okay!" *moonwalks out of 7/11*                   CRIMINAL: teen sent to a youth correctional facility for inappropriate internet usage "he used 8 hashtags" ...so? "on facebook" LOCK HIM UP                   CURRENT EVENTS: teens discuss politics "dude, did you hear about syria??" wtf is a syria? "lol idk" *rips bong so fucking hard*                   BAZINGA: teen breaks up with girlfriend for complicated reasons "she liked the big bang theory" "i just couldn't respect her as a person"                   STYLE: teen wears new scarf to school "what's that bro? a cum rag?" "nah, it's a pussy eating bib" *walks into girl's locker room*                   CRIMINAL: teen sent to a youth correctional facility for inappropriate internet usage "he used 8 hashtags" ...so? "on facebook" LOCK HIM UP                   YOLO: HS teen takes it to the limit LET'S *turns hat sideways* FUCKING *puts speakers up to 80% full volume* DO THIS *drinks 2 light beers*                   SCIENTIFIC: studies indicate that 3 out of every 4 teens smoke marijuana. Coincidentally, scientists also found that 1 in 4 teens are nerds                   MUSIC: 8th grader brings his recorder to school "wtf are u doing" "serenading yung pussy" *plays harmonious tune* *swan dives into clitoris*                   IDIOT: Teen throws big party but forgets one key element "dude i forgot music" "just use ur laptop" "i only have greenday" "mother of god"

"HAPPY HOLIDAYS" : SCHOOL BANS OFFENSIVE SPEECH


The sixth day of the teen news grand revealing of the 25 days of Christmas special.  After the blissful period which was the 90s, schools across the country cracked down on the tyrannical Christmas culture that was dominating the educational system during December.  Now, a local high school has deemed the phrase "Happy Holidays" as evil and unacceptable in their school.




BALTIMORE, MD - Principal Jon Stinson reading the morning announcements a few days ago "[expletive] you teens, spreading this [expletive] holiday cheer, you know [expletive] what you [indiscernible expletives] are no longer allowed to say happy holidays either because it's [a lot of expletives] offensive to me."  After an extremely intense minute of silence and confusion the principal added "This has nothing to do with the [expletive] rumor that Mr. Diver is screwing my wife."

We sat down for a 1 on 1 interview with a student of the high school.

"How'd you feel about the expletives your principal used?"

"They were mostly fucks or variations of fucks."

"I mean, the fact that your principal used them."

"Oh...it was kinda badass actually."

cursing is punishable to the fullest extent of the law














Mr. Diver, a gym teacher, was unavailable for comment because he was presumably "fucking the shit out of Mrs. Stinson"

A notoriously liberal sophomore student who identifies as a precautionary transgender bisexual and prefers the personal pronoun "it" had a lot to say.  "Honestly the HH phrase is offensive", LeSean Stevenson is referring to "Happy Holidays", "some people aren't emotionally inclined to feel happy or to celebrate events.  Who are we to enforce feelings of happiness on everyone?  I don't want to exaggerate, but this seems mighty similar to Hitler to me."

adolphin hitler - leader of germany during the 90s

25 Days of Christmas
December 1st Advent Calendars
December 2nd Holiday Decorating
December 3rd WTF Happened To The Radio Part 1
December 4th Christmas Trees Are Just Plants
December 5th Hanukkah In Review
December 6th "Happy Holidays"
December 7th Ebay Christmas Ornaments
December 8th Dear Santa,
December 9th Holiday Drinks
December 10th Pumpkin Spice Latte VS. Peppermint Mocha Frappuccino
December 11th Snow Blows
December 12nd XXX-Mas
December 13th Desolation of Smaug (Christmas)
December 14th WTF Happened To The Radio Part 2
December 15th Wait, Christmas Is Religious AF
December 16th Rudolph - The Ginger Reindeer
December 17th What To Get Your Girlfriend For Christmas
December 18th Chlamydia - The Real Grinch
December 19th Why You Want To Be On The Naughty List
December 20th Christmas Movies...That Will Get You Laid
December 21st Looking Back At The End Of The World
December 22nd Stocking Stuffers (NSFW)
December 23rd Last Second Gifts
December 24th Twas The Night Before Christmas
December 25th Merry F****** Christmas


Is the phrase "Happy Holidays" reminiscent of the Nazi regime?  Whether or not you simply want to stand out, have a cheating ho ho ho of a wife, or just simply hate having fun I think we can learn a lesson from Martin Luther King Jr. High School and let "Happy Holidays" slide.