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VIOLENT: teen in critical condition after being assaulted during a game of Mario Party "i told that piece of shit not to steal my star"                   TRUTH: cop teaches class on drug awareness "honestly guys... pot isn't bad for you" *class gives standing ovation* *cop starts breakdancing*                   SWAGGER: teen gets ready for saturday night yeah this snapback yolo combo will for sure get me laid *chugs diet pepsi* TURN DOWN FOR WHAT?                   FILIBUSTED: student government faces a shut down "our spring fling should be 70s themed" "80s OR NOTHING" presently no agreement is in sight                   RADICAL: "hip dad" interacts with teenage children "sup kids? you guys feeling YOLO today?" dad no "this dinner sure is MAJOR SWAG" DAD WHY                   NOSTALGIA: HS sophomores reminisce about simpler times "remember the 90's?" "not at all"                   HOT: teens love sexting! 9:14 - i wanna sex u up 9:15 - wat u gna do 2 me? 9:15 - ima stick my penis in ur *goes on wikipedia* 9:24 - labia                   UNEMPLOYED: teen gets turned down at local super market for putting "rolls hella dope blunts" on his resume "how is that not a good skill??"                   MIA: "mom i lost my swag!" "where did you last YOLO?" "i already checked my snapback collection!" "well i'm sure it'll TURN UP"                   BAZINGA: teen breaks up with girlfriend for complicated reasons "she liked the big bang theory" "i just couldn't respect her as a person"                   YOU GIVE BUD A BAD NAME: teen gets creative "i named my piece Bong Jovi" dude that's sick *rips bong so dang hard* "WE'RE HALFWAY THEREEE OH                   CANDIE: Teen sent to office after making a 'shank' by sucking on a Push-Pop™ over a period of time "7th grades tough gotta stay strapped"                   PHILOSOPHICAL: teen speaks his mind "two wrongs don't make a right, but one bong makes it alright" "yo, one must first turn down to turn up"                   DIESEL: teen gets pulled over "officer, i know i was speeding i was just really mad" *officer lowers shades* "so you were FAST and FURIOUS?"                   YOU GIVE BUD A BAD NAME: teen gets creative "i named my piece Bong Jovi" dude that's sick *rips bong so dang hard* "WE'RE HALFWAY THEREEE OH                   UNDERCOVER: mysterious teen tries to disuade his peers "maybe we should wait until we're 21 to drink" *moustache falls off* "WTF DAD"                   HEALTH: teens converse while smoking cigs "can cell phones really give you cancer?" "i hope not" *takes drag* "i'd hate to get cancer"                   TRILL SMITH: teen claims to be "too trill for homework" "you think ima need to know algebra when i'm a famous rapper?" "bitch swerve"                   MAIL: teen writes love letter to gf babe, ilu more then weed. well, u nd weed r prolly bout equal bc i luv weed alot but still love, steve

EBAY CHRISTMAS ORNAMENTS


December 7th and with it the seventh installment of the most delicious holiday special for your brain taste buds.  Need to decorate your tree? Well here are some last second can't miss items on Ebay that could definitely spice up your holiday season!




















Bacon. Simple, but classy, and not at all related to Christmas.  Buy it for only $5.99 here!



















Just like the bacon ornament you can capitalize on free shipping!  Does bigfoot exist, did Jesus? Get this shit right now here!
25 Days of Christmas
December 1st Advent Calendars
December 2nd Holiday Decorating
December 3rd WTF Happened To The Radio Part 1
December 4th Christmas Trees Are Just Plants
December 5th Hanukkah In Review
December 6th "Happy Holidays"
December 7th Ebay Christmas Ornaments
December 8th Dear Santa,
December 9th Holiday Drinks
December 10th Pumpkin Spice Latte VS. Peppermint Mocha Frappuccino
December 11th Snow Blows
December 12nd XXX-Mas
December 13th Desolation of Smaug (Christmas)
December 14th WTF Happened To The Radio Part 2
December 15th Wait, Christmas Is Religious AF
December 16th Rudolph - The Ginger Reindeer
December 17th What To Get Your Girlfriend For Christmas
December 18th Chlamydia - The Real Grinch
December 19th Why You Want To Be On The Naughty List
December 20th Christmas Movies...That Will Get You Laid
December 21st Looking Back At The End Of The World
December 22nd Stocking Stuffers (NSFW)
December 23rd Last Second Gifts
December 24th Twas The Night Before Christmas
December 25th Merry F****** Christmas
Multi-task with this Christmas ornament that serves both style and pleasure purposes!  YOU CAN BUY THIS RIGHT NOW FOR $6 RIGHT HERE!



















Feeling a little gay this holiday season? Teen News has your back with some sweet abs!  Purchase this here!



















I know what you're thinking.  An alligator playing volleyball is exactly what I've always been looking to complete my Christmas tree.  Well click here!  Only $7...WHAT A STEAL!



















Are you a girl? Do you love sh-...why am I even asking? OF COURSE YOU DO BUY THIS NURSE SHARK RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW OR ELSE.