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FANDANGO: 16 year olds try to see an R rated movie "i left my ID in-" *fake moustache falls off* "damnit" *sees grown ups 2*                   STONED: teen takes his first ever "bong hit" "make sure you drink the bong water, it gets you super baked" "really?" "yea dude trust me"                   SCHOOL: "ms. jones is def in the illuminati dude. she's always talkin about triangles" "she's a geometry teacher" "...the fuck's geometry?"                   IRL: teen forgets he's not playing GTA V *goes sixty mph on the highway* *jumps out of car* *gets up and walks away*                   DISSED: teen engages in a rap battle "dude ur raps are toilet/if i pooped in ur mouth you'd prolly enjoy it" *entire school krumps to death*                   HEALTH: teens converse while smoking cigs "can cell phones really give you cancer?" "i hope not" *takes drag* "i'd hate to get cancer"                   GAMER: teens play Metroid Prime "did you know Samus is a chick?" *turns off gamecube* "no" *breaks disk in half* "no i did not"                   STONED: teen takes his first ever "bong hit" "make sure you drink the bong water, it gets you super baked" "really?" "yea dude trust me"                   POLNO: Frat teen asks bros if a "black polo and flops" is an alright outfit for his grandmas funeral "dude u gotta at least wear sperrys"                   DEBATE: "dude, ass is so much better" "no way, tits are top notch!" "i enjoy personality" *awkward silence* "well that's mighty gay of you"                   WOAH: teen makes friends at new school "sup guys, my name's chad and i think beer is cool" *gets invited to every party in a 20 mile radius*                   NO: teen in critical condition after asserting "digimon was way cooler than pokemon" "there's some things you just can't fucking say steve"                   FML: teen struggles to get by in a harsh world "my chips are so crunchy that i can't hear the tv when i eat them" "i fucking hate my life"                   <3: teens go out to a romantic dinner "can we have a bottle of your finest sizzurp" *mariachi dubstep band* "babe will you turn up with me?"                   WOAH: teen makes friends at new school "sup guys, my name's chad and i think beer is cool" *gets invited to every party in a 20 mile radius*                   POLNO: Frat teen asks bros if a "black polo and flops" is an alright outfit for his grandmas funeral "dude u gotta at least wear sperrys"                   GTA: teen love gaming! "wait guys, don't you think this game is a little offensive to women?" *silence* "LOL JK" *kills another hooker*                   MAIL: teen writes love letter to gf babe, ilu more then weed. well, u nd weed r prolly bout equal bc i luv weed alot but still love, steve                   TWITTER: teen faces crucial decision "i wanna rewrite my typo'd tweet but it already got three favs" "MY LIFE IS PAIN" *jumps off bridge*

EBAY CHRISTMAS ORNAMENTS


December 7th and with it the seventh installment of the most delicious holiday special for your brain taste buds.  Need to decorate your tree? Well here are some last second can't miss items on Ebay that could definitely spice up your holiday season!




















Bacon. Simple, but classy, and not at all related to Christmas.  Buy it for only $5.99 here!



















Just like the bacon ornament you can capitalize on free shipping!  Does bigfoot exist, did Jesus? Get this shit right now here!
25 Days of Christmas
December 1st Advent Calendars
December 2nd Holiday Decorating
December 3rd WTF Happened To The Radio Part 1
December 4th Christmas Trees Are Just Plants
December 5th Hanukkah In Review
December 6th "Happy Holidays"
December 7th Ebay Christmas Ornaments
December 8th Dear Santa,
December 9th Holiday Drinks
December 10th Pumpkin Spice Latte VS. Peppermint Mocha Frappuccino
December 11th Snow Blows
December 12nd XXX-Mas
December 13th Desolation of Smaug (Christmas)
December 14th WTF Happened To The Radio Part 2
December 15th Wait, Christmas Is Religious AF
December 16th Rudolph - The Ginger Reindeer
December 17th What To Get Your Girlfriend For Christmas
December 18th Chlamydia - The Real Grinch
December 19th Why You Want To Be On The Naughty List
December 20th Christmas Movies...That Will Get You Laid
December 21st Looking Back At The End Of The World
December 22nd Stocking Stuffers (NSFW)
December 23rd Last Second Gifts
December 24th Twas The Night Before Christmas
December 25th Merry F****** Christmas
Multi-task with this Christmas ornament that serves both style and pleasure purposes!  YOU CAN BUY THIS RIGHT NOW FOR $6 RIGHT HERE!



















Feeling a little gay this holiday season? Teen News has your back with some sweet abs!  Purchase this here!



















I know what you're thinking.  An alligator playing volleyball is exactly what I've always been looking to complete my Christmas tree.  Well click here!  Only $7...WHAT A STEAL!



















Are you a girl? Do you love sh-...why am I even asking? OF COURSE YOU DO BUY THIS NURSE SHARK RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW OR ELSE.