Dear Santa, all I want for Christmas is all 25 of these GAME-CHANGING 25 DAYS OF TEEN NEWS CHRISTMAS PALOOZA ARTICLES. Well, maybe there's something else you want, but either way we can all basque in nostalgia and try to laugh at one of the dumber Christmas traditions of all time...writing to good ol' Saint Nick.
 Not to be confused with the typical "white girl" Christmas list. So what now? Well we bring it to the post office of course! TN: can you mail this letter to Santa? Employee: you're like..20 years old TN: come on dude Employee: grow up TN: don't be a dick dude After we decided that didn't work we decided to try to send it from our very own mailbox. Unfortunately, you need stamps, and we didn't feel like paying any fucking money because we know Santa doesn't exist. |
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TAKE TWO: Some scientists INSIST that if you throw your Christmas list in the fire the smoke will rise out of the chimney and travel to the North Pole where Santa Claus will get some elves with master's degrees to turn the smoke back into solid paper and spend days on end trying to assemble the hundreds of thousands of pieces together. PROTIP: If you have kids, use this, because stamps are a ripoff. Actually maybe just send it to santaclaus@whateverwebsiteyouwant.com because we're pretty positive it isn't some weirdo who gets off taking a look at the dreams of children. WILL TEEN NEWS GET MOLLY!? DOES SANTA EXIST? TEEN NEWS CONTINUES TO INVESTIGATE THROUGHOUT THE MONTH OF DECEMBER!!! | |
