Day 5 of the teen news 25 days of christmas spectacular special to end all specials ever in the history of specials. We've all heard of Hanukkah, but what is it...really? Is it just the jews way of overcompensating for their kids lack of holiday enjoyment in the month of December? Or is it the greatest holiday of all time?!?!?
PROS:
| There's good and bad to everything right? Having parents is pretty cool, but broccoli fucking blows. Smoking weed is swag, but county jail is actually...well it's not THAT bad. Dreidels - The Jewish beyblades. There's nothing sweeter than being able to sling your wooden toy better than your brother. What fun games can you play on Christmas? None, that's the answer.
It Lasts Eight Days - THE TURN UP IS TOO REAL! You may think you're pretty much a party animal when you're chugging your spiked eggnog, but imagine non-stop rolling on matzah molly for eight straight days! CONS: Here's the bad, if any young jewish inclined people are viewing it may be time to head back to Reddit and check out some very, very funny memes. Candles - What kind of Holiday has a major focus on candles? Is Hanukkah sponsored by QVC? Candles were invented as effortless gifts for female relatives you barely know.
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| It Isn't Christmas... - Let's keep it one hundred and ten percent real for just one second. Christmas is the greatest holiday of all time...of ALL TIME. Sorry, but one shitty present a day for eight days comes no where near the gratifying feeling of ripping apart enough wrapping paper to feed the entire city of Detroit. So now you learned two things today: 1) Hanukkah isn't underrated, it's alright...at best and 2) People that live in Detroit exist mostly on a diet of wrapping paper. | |||||
