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DIESEL: teen gets pulled over "officer, i know i was speeding i was just really mad" *officer lowers shades* "so you were FAST and FURIOUS?"                   CRITIC: teen isn't too thrilled with his movie experience "more like the DECENT gatsby, 3/5 stars" "there weren't even tits"                   HEART BREAKING: young teen overdoses on marijuana earlier today. Witnesses claim his last words were "dude" and "duuuudddeeee"                   FUNDONT: Teen hospitalized after tragic fondue accident "i thought the bitches would want this warm cheesy dick" "they didnt"                   DEBATE: "dude, ass is so much better" "no way, tits are top notch!" "i enjoy personality" *awkward silence* "well that's mighty gay of you"                   GRADES: Student receives an "F" on powerpoint presentation for using too many laser sounds in transitions "that sound effect is gangster af"                   STONED: teen in hospital after "the biggest bong hit of all time" he claims he "ripped that shit like Michael Phelps" and he's "still baked"                   KILLER KUSH: teens get high "bro i think i'm dead" "ur just freaking out" "i'm srs" *turns into ghost* "damn, that kush was dank" *hi fives*                   HOLLAWEEN: Teens discuss their halloween costumes "im dressin up as a mocha frappe gonna be watchin the bitches flock" "im going as molly"                   DUNKIN BRONUTS: teens get coffee "why iced coffee bro" "i like my coffee like i like my bros...chill AS FUCK" *chugs coffee while bro5ing*                   TRAGEDY: local teen legitimately "dies from boredom" "he forgot to bring his iphone with him in the bathroom" "sad day for teens everywhere"                   POT: teen claims to be experiencing marijuana withdrawal "the room...it's so cold" bro u smoked for the first time yesterday "U DONT KNO ME"                   QUEERS OF WAR: teens argue over Xbox Live "suck my dick!" "no you suck my dick, bitch!" *teens exchange numbers and suck each other's dicks*                   GAME: teen joins a sports team in hopes of getting girls "sup ladies, i'm the quarterman for our school's hoopball squad" *has infinity sex*                   TRAGEDY: local teen legitimately "dies from boredom" "he forgot to bring his iphone with him in the bathroom" "sad day for teens everywhere"                   PROGRESSIVE: teens talk car insurance "would you bang Flo?" "i'd let her suck my dick" "i'd be down for a-" *lowers shades* "flojob" *high5*                   TRILL SMITH: teen claims to be "too trill for homework" "you think ima need to know algebra when i'm a famous rapper?" "bitch swerve"                   DUB: young teen gets his "ass whooped" after he allegedly tried to pay for a gram of marijuana in Trident Layers™                   GRADES: Student receives an "F" on powerpoint presentation for using too many laser sounds in transitions "that sound effect is gangster af"

GIFS: SIX THINGS TO DO ON A SNOW DAY

You wake up for another dreadful day of school only too find out the Based God has answered your prayers and you have a mother fucking snow day. First things first you go back to bed and snuggle with your favorite stuffed animal for a few hours, but then what? I'm here to tell you how to maximize your efficiency of yolo on this newfound day of freedom.


1. Eat a Snow Cone Made Out of Your Piss


Nothing screams IDGAF more than consuming urine; well why not kick it up a notch and make a magical yellow snow cone with your own bodily waste. So grab a friend, cross streams, and make the most heterosexual snow cone of all time. 

2. Feed Your Cat some Drugs


Doing drugs alone is fun as hell but on a special occasion such as a snow day it's in good fate that you should share the love. Assuming you're a beta loser who has no friends to do drugs with, your cat is a perfect back up. Whip out the acid, put a tab on that kitties tongue and lets get trippy!

3. Learn how to Dance


Picture this, before the snow day you were just some nerd who no one respected. But on your day off you put your hips in motion and learned how to move. Now when the breakdancing battles breakout in the cafetria you can slide through with some swagtastic moves and impress all the bitches. 

4. Go Ice Skating


There ain't a thing in the world that impresses bitches more than a dude who knows how to skate, so why not go Kristi Yamaguchi on that pussy and invite a girl to the local lake with you for some ice skating. [protip, if by some chance of god the girl responds with yes and joins you to go ice skating, thats basically a blowjob in my book and you can tell all your bros you made it to 3rd base]

5. Turn the Club Up


It's a known fact that on snow days the law doesn't apply to teens, so I suggest you take advantage of this and get drunk in a club while you have the chance. Whether you're popping bottles of ciroc or chugging cans of diet pepsi, all that matters is you waste as much money as can because women love a gluttonous spender and theres no place better to meet a female friend than in a hot, dark and sweaty club. 

6.  Creep Around tha Hood With Your Homies


In the famous words of rapper Y.G. : 

"[Inappropriate]"


And I couldn't have articulated it better myself, snow days arent about spending time with your family or talking to your grandma about gay shit like the family history, snow days are about hanging out and bumming around with your ni**az. So spark a blunt, TURN UP the heat (lol get it cause it's cold and you'd wanna stay warm?!) , and enjoy your motherfuckin snow day.