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ORATORY SKILLS: teen uses a classic tactic of rhetoric in a debate with his peer "you're gay" "no, YOU'RE gay" *teen stands in shock*                   FLIRT: teens interact sexually "is that an iPhone in your pants or are you just happy to see me?" "it's a Samsung Galaxy you stupid bitch"                   CENSORED: 10th grade teen refuses to say "the n word" during a class reading of To Kill A Mockingbird "there were black kids in that class"                   YOU GIVE BUD A BAD NAME: teen gets creative "i named my piece Bong Jovi" dude that's sick *rips bong so dang hard* "WE'RE HALFWAY THEREEE OH                   MODERN WARFARE: Teen decides to enlist for military after raising his kill/death ratio to 1.5 in Call of Duty "i'm ready for anything now"                   NOSTALGIA: HS sophomores reminisce about simpler times "remember the 90's?" "not at all"                   KOOLS: teen buys cigs to impress girls "can i get a pack of boges?" "what kind?" *lowers shades* "the kind that gives you the most cancer"                   HARDCORE: teens in egage in a drug deal at school "you got the moll?" yea *hands him 2 flintstones vitamins for $40* enjoy my nigga                   POOETRY: Teen fed up w/ eng class "do u love rap music? then class you'll love Edgar Allen Poe" "MORE LIKE EDGAR ALLEN POOP" "grow up steve"                   OBAMA CARES: teens have no idea "the government is gonna shut down!?" "yea something about a tea party" "wow politics is so gay"                   OBAMA CARES: teens have no idea "the government is gonna shut down!?" "yea something about a tea party" "wow politics is so gay"                   LIQUOR: teen girls celebrate wasted wednesday *shot #1* turn up! *shot #2* my bf is a totals dickk *shot #3* *pukes all over the floor*                   iOSHEAVEN: Teens marvel in Apple's latest conquest "iOS 7 is better than being alive" "now i can die happy" "i feel steve jobs inside me"                   TEEN CRISIS: "hello 911? yes. my internet went out in the middle of a jerk sesh" "what do you mean this isn't an emergency??" "put obama on"                   OBAMA CARES: teens have no idea "the government is gonna shut down!?" "yea something about a tea party" "wow politics is so gay"                   DIESEL: teen gets pulled over "officer, i know i was speeding i was just really mad" *officer lowers shades* "so you were FAST and FURIOUS?"                   FUN: teen boys go to their first college party together "we're gunna pick up so many bitches" Reports indicate they "picked up no bitches"                   SUPER SMASH BROTHAS: teen claims Nintendo is racist "there's no black people in super smash" well, there IS donkey ko- *gets ass beat hard*                   OUCH: Teen sent to office after being wrongly accused of texting in class "jeez i was just staring at my dick" "no one texts me anyway"

UNDER THE PANTS HANDJOBS ARE THE BEST HANDJOBS

The results are in, under the pants handjobs narrowly beat over the pants handjobs.  Teens are questioning whether or not they actually would like a girl to touch their penis.  Why was this even close? Teen news investigates.


Honestly, I'm just going to assume that anyone who voted over the pants was either A) female B) someone who has never gotten a handjob or C) someone making an attempt to fuck with us.  This is a legitimate news corporation for teenagers so would you clowns STOP FUCKING AROUND.

CLOSEST POLL OF ALL TIME

Better luck next time feminists, for now the pants still have to come off.