You don't smoke weed? HAHA, what're you gay?? Just kidding friend. But seriously, read this article so you know why you're fucking up
5. IT’S COOL
Do you know any cool kids at your high school that don’t
smoke weed? Don’t even think about that question. Trust me, there’s none. Smoking
reef makes you cool because it’s illegal. It’s as simple as that. Breaking the
law is scientifically proven to make you 80% cooler. That’s facts son. You can’t
argue with facts.
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| as you can see, even cops smoke weed |
4. IT’LL GET YOU FRIENDS
Think about your life right now. You’re sitting around,
probably sober, with no one to talk to, going on teennews.us. Your life sucks.
But it doesn’t have to with M A R I J U A N A ! Imagine all the friends you
want, coming over to hang out with you and smoke all your weed. I know it sounds
too good to be true, but it isn’t, my friend. It isn’t.
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| hit this shit |
3. IT PREVENTS CANCER
Listen, if there’s one thing I know, I smoke a lot of
weed. And if there’s another thing I know, I don’t have cancer. Coincidence? I don’t
think so buddy. Time and time again, stoner friends of mine don’t get cancer.
There’s literally dozens of examples I can think of just by myself! Marijuana
truly is a miracle drug.
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| no cancer for this man |
2. IT’LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO SPEND MONEY ON
You know what I hate? Having loose change in my pocket.
You know what’s worse than that? Loose paper bills. What is this? A twenty?
Ugh, I don’t want this heavy paper crinkling all up in my pants! SO ANNOYING.
Luckily there’s marijuana! Just give a friendly drug dealer all your money, and
he’ll give you all of his weed. That’s how drugs deals work if you didn’t know.
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| trade to the green you have for the green you need |
1. IT’LL MAKE YOUR DEPRESSING LIFE SLIGHTLY MORE BEARABLE
Most of the time I don’t want to be alive.
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| shoulda smoked herbs |
