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COMEDY: teens finish watching Breaking Bad "wow, more like breaking GOOD" "...i said, more like break-" "we heard you the first time dick"                   BAKED: teens get so high on marijuana they "forgot the alamo" "the what??" "DUDE WE WERE SUPPOSED TO REMEMBER THIS SHIT"                   BALLING: Teen takes girlfriend out to dinner "ight babe were gonna split the 60 pc nugget" "a milkshake? idk babe maybe next time"                   SHY: teen refuses to get naked in front of her bf b/c she's "too fat" sources indicate bf "doesn't care" & "just wants to see some titties"                   EASY LIVIN: teens are out of school and ready to let loose for the summer! "yo man i'm bored af" "me too"                   BONDING: teen doesn't want to go to school "dad, it's just real fcking gay" "honestly son, you have a point" *father rolls fat ass blunt*                   FADEAD: teens try drugs for the first time "dude i smoked like eleven beers" one teen claims "i drank like 2 weeds and drove" one teen dead                   FADEAD: teens try drugs for the first time "dude i smoked like eleven beers" one teen claims "i drank like 2 weeds and drove" one teen dead                   FUN: teens prepare for Halloween "okay. i'm mario, jeff's luigi, mark's wario, and steve.. ur waluigi" why am i waluigi? "BC NO ONE LIKES U"                   CHAT: teens talk on AIM™ Sk8rBoy - did she blow u? Dude86 - yea, but she sucked dick at it Sk8rBoy - is that good or bad? Dude86 - lmao dude                   VIDEO GAMES: teen gets upset while playing Halo "why's this homo called master chef he never even cooks" "it's chief" "he's not even indian"                   HIGH SCHOOL: teens talk music "you hear the new earl sweatpants album?" heck yes! GOLF GANG!! "damn, we're so #swag"                   BALLING: Teen takes girlfriend out to dinner "ight babe were gonna split the 60 pc nugget" "a milkshake? idk babe maybe next time"                   BLAZED: pre-teens have their first sips of beer "when am i gonna get high?" "i've had like three. i.....i think i'm feelin it"                   VIDEO GAMES: teen gets upset while playing Halo "why's this homo called master chef he never even cooks" "it's chief" "he's not even indian"                   CHAT: teens talk on AIM™ Sk8rBoy - did she blow u? Dude86 - yea, but she sucked dick at it Sk8rBoy - is that good or bad? Dude86 - lmao dude                   WHIP GAME: teens hit the go kart track "mushrooms and racing was a great idea" "i feel like mario" "haha steve is just staring at the wheel"                   GERIATRIC: teens talk about the future "isn't it crazy that they'll play dubstep at our nursing homes?" "skrillex is our frank sinatra"                   DEBATE: "dude, ass is so much better" "no way, tits are top notch!" "i enjoy personality" *awkward silence* "well that's mighty gay of you"

6 HALLOWEEN COSTUMES THAT WILL GET YOU LAID

Countless teen hopes have come to fruition or been crushed on October 31st.  The key is to wear the right thing to make sure the babes talk to you instead of your better looking friends at this year's halloween rager.  Oh by the way, if you ladies are expecting a similar article, don't, if you wanna get laid just wear as little as possible.



ladies hit up @krash_69
Sometimes it just pays to improvise.  Not everyone has the forward thinking to plan a halloween costume and I'll be damned if any person was ever better off from planning things out.

"are those arrows pointing to your penis?"
"...duh"
*gets laid*

haha i swallllowed a beer cun

There are three things ladies like: money, free alcohol, and boners.  Clearly if you can afford a friggin X-Ray machine you've got some bills and the ladies can clearly see you give out alcohol like candy considering you've recently swallowed an entire beer can!  Ask them to pull down your pants and complete the trifecta.

"hey girl can you see right through me?"
"uhhh i guess"
"then i guess you can see you've given me a massive boner"
*gets laid*


american made, american laid

As much as females hate to admit it they love food items that are shaped similarly to male genitalia.  A hot dog is basically the American version of an Italian sausage and it works just as well.  It won't take long for a girl to realize you're too big to shove in her mouth and she'll have to settle for a consolation prize.

"girl you see this mustard?"
"yep"
"well that's the only CONDOM-ment i'll be wearing tonight"
*gets laid*

CAUTION: teen news "recommends" protected sex for STD and pleasure prevention


twist her bro
Girls are naturally simple creatures.  They typically love colors and games.  This is why twister is not only consistently fun for them but can be for you too.  Whether you're playing with them or simply creepily watching you can't go wrong.

*spins wheel and lands on green*
"uhhhh spin again babe"
*gets laid*


i swallow, do you!?
In all honesty Halloween may be the third most horniest time of the year for women.  New Year's Eve ranks slightly above it because of the added desperation, but the height of female mating season happened not too long ago.  That's right, SHARK WEEK.  Wearing a shark outfit will set off many synapses in her girl brain and will surely make her want to enter the water.

*jaws theme plays as you slowly reach towards a girl's breast*
*gets laid* 



If girls could sleep with free alcohol they would.  So be the free alcohol and sleep with the girls.

"hey girl are you thirsty? because i'm thirsty as fuck"
*somehow gets laid*

-TNR3