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You can support the site by clicking an ad if it is relevant to your interests!                   POLNO: Frat teen asks bros if a "black polo and flops" is an alright outfit for his grandmas funeral "dude u gotta at least wear sperrys"                   420: "son, can you look up how many grams are in an ounce?" "oh, it's 28" "why do you know that?" "because i love... the metric system" "oh"                   VIDEO GAMES: teen gets upset while playing Halo "why's this homo called master chef he never even cooks" "it's chief" "he's not even indian"                   ROCK: 13 year old considers Creed to be "classic rock" "hey dad, let's spark a doobie and listen to creed" "son, just stop"                   SO CLOSE: teen blows it at the last minute "ready for sex girl?" oh yea! *sound of velcro shoes coming off* *pussy becomes drier than paper*                   NICE: teens prepare for finals "i took like 120 mg's of adderall" "i didn't even study. i just organized my itunes library for 6 hours"                   STUDY: teen crams for exam PREPARE THE LUBE MOTHER *jams textbook into anus* i guess you can say ill be pulling the answers...OUT OF MY ASS                   GOSSIP: 7th graders talk rumors "i heard tina gave billy a handjob behind the bleachers after school" for real? "yea" wait what's a handjob?                   WAKE & BAKE: teen wakes up early to prepare for his school's bake sale "this has absolutely nothing to do with weed" "sorry to disappoint"                   WOAH: teens get rowdy while driving "yo call that guy a fag and then drive off" "FAG!" "haha yes, we are so badass" *everyone high fives*                   FUN: teen boys go to their first college party together "we're gunna pick up so many bitches" Reports indicate they "picked up no bitches"                   NOSTALGIA: HS freshmen have a "remember the 90's" night "this is gunna be so rad!!" *they sit around and watch Max Keeble's Big Move (2001)*                   HIGH TIMES: teens smoke weed after school "dude... sinks are like showers but for your hands" *passes joint* ..bro that's fucking adorable                   WOAH: teens get rowdy while driving "yo call that guy a fag and then drive off" "FAG!" "haha yes, we are so badass" *everyone high fives*                   REBEL: teen makes breakfast for dinner "this is not an appropriate time for that!" FUCK SOCIETY *dropkicks mom* I'M MAKING FLAP JACKS                   WHITE GIRL: teen asked what 5 things she would bring to a deserted island 1. uggs 2. iPhone 3. iPhone charger 4. starbucks giftcard 5. my bf                   STONED: teen in hospital after "the biggest bong hit of all time" he claims he "ripped that shit like Michael Phelps" and he's "still baked"                   WHITE GIRL: teen asked what 5 things she would bring to a deserted island 1. uggs 2. iPhone 3. iPhone charger 4. starbucks giftcard 5. my bf

HOW TO GET GIRLS: 3 PRO TIPS TO IMPRESS BITCHES

The fact that another year of school is starting can be a hard pill to swallow, thank Yeezus that Adderall isn’t. Here are some tips for getting that hoe from homeroom to your room.



1) Paper, not plastic

Everyone knows that pimping ain’t easy, but you know what is E-Z? This year’s hottest rolling papers! 


These things might as well be an E-Z pass to the pussy! Girls are tired of guys who smoke out of weird shit like Gatorade bottles and tin foil. Pull out a pack of these bad boys and her legs will open “wider” than my mouth at the dentist’s office! ( I have a lot of cavities.)

2) Fuck Snapbacks, Just Tattoos

Snapbacks are out, tattoos are in. Tattoos of snapbacks are super in. 


You don’t even need to have a tattoo to impress her, just talk about the one you’re going to get and make sure she hears.
“yup, going down to Apocalypse Requiem Cyanide Tattooz today to get the new tat”
“what are you getting, bro?’’
“thinkin bout a pot leaf with a caption that says “legalize it” in latin”
“nice!”

If there’s one thing bitches love, it’s Latin. And if there’s two things bitches love, its Latin and legislative opinions.

3) Nice 80085!
You don’t need to have Chemistry with girls to score, just math. This device will be sure to turn heads, and later on, have bitches take turns giving you head. Girls love guys who are good with numbers, especially if the number is a drunken 69 in the bathroom before lunch.


“mom, i need some vodka!”
“what!? NO WAY!”
“it’s for school!”
“oh alright”

The only thing you’ll be “deriving” from class this year will be tons of phone numbers from slutty bitches.