Menu

WONDERWALL: : teen learns guitar to pick up girls *strums a single G chord* "i'm gunna get so fucking laid"                   TEEN CRISIS: "hello 911? yes. my internet went out in the middle of a jerk sesh" "what do you mean this isn't an emergency??" "put obama on"                   BAZINGA: teen breaks up with girlfriend for complicated reasons "she liked the big bang theory" "i just couldn't respect her as a person"                   BUD: teen regrets getting high on marijuana before school "why are your eyes red?" "umm, i was riding my bike with the windows open" "what?"                   GAME: teen joins a sports team in hopes of getting girls "sup ladies, i'm the quarterman for our school's hoopball squad" *has infinity sex*                   HIGH: teens smoke while their parents are out "WAIT get the dog outta here. he'll tell my mom" *stares at dog for 30 seconds* "you're right"                   420: "son, can you look up how many grams are in an ounce?" "oh, it's 28" "why do you know that?" "because i love... the metric system" "oh"                   CHAT: teens talk on AIMâ„¢ Sk8rBoy - did she blow u? Dude86 - yea, but she sucked dick at it Sk8rBoy - is that good or bad? Dude86 - lmao dude                   CHAMP: teen is a "winner" "I DID IT MOM. I FINALLY DID IT" *runs up to mom w/ gameboy* "I BEAT THE ELITE FOUR" "who gives a fuck? you're 19"                   WOW: teen forcibly removed from house by father after he claimed to "not like Justin Timberlake" "YOU WILL RESPECT JT'S TALENT IN THIS HOME"                   DEBATE: "dude, ass is so much better" "no way, tits are top notch!" "i enjoy personality" *awkward silence* "well that's mighty gay of you"                   PROGRESSIVE: teens talk car insurance "would you bang Flo?" "i'd let her suck my dick" "i'd be down for a-" *lowers shades* "flojob" *high5*                   COLLEGE: teen takes Adderall to help his grades "i'm gunna crush this test yo" *next day* "wait, you have to STUDY also??" *fails hard*                   MEMORIAL DAY: teen remembers the players that died in a Call of Duty team deathmatch "R.I.P. EternalVirgin, bonglover69, and BROBROBRO1"                   DEBATE: "dude, ass is so much better" "no way, tits are top notch!" "i enjoy personality" *awkward silence* "well that's mighty gay of you"                   BROAH: teens "out bro" each other "sup bro?" "sup bromo sapien?" "sup tony bromo?" "sup BROSEIDON, KING OF THE BROCEAN, SLAYER OF MERM POON"                   DUDE: teens make their Breaking Bad predictions "dude badgers gunna be the new heisenberg" *rips bong so fucking hard* "that wud be dopeeee"                   HOUSE RULES: a teen argues with his father "WEAR YOUR SNAPBACK SON" "dad why" "there are swagless kids in africa" "UGH YOU'RE TOO RAD DAD"                   FUN: teens prepare for Halloween "okay. i'm mario, jeff's luigi, mark's wario, and steve.. ur waluigi" why am i waluigi? "BC NO ONE LIKES U"

CONTRACT LAW TEEN CASE

Two teens, one male and one female, recently went to court to determine the validity of a contract that they signed on a napkin during 3rd period.
 In the plaintiff's opinion the female party did not perform her end of the deal which, as you can see from the evidence, was to perform oral sex.
"What was the defendant's mindset when she accepted the contract?"
"The D(efendant) clearly wanted the D."
"How could you tell?"
"She literally told me that she wanted the D."

Evidence #4206969


The defendant however acknowledged her "thirstiness" and went on to explain her version of the story.
"What happened when the plaintiff dropped his drawers?"
"BOOM BABY DICK."
"And how did that make you feel?"
"Like I had a legal obligation to laugh my ass off."

The plaintiff was later charged on this accusation.
"Is it true that your nickname in high school is baby dick brian?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"I plead the 5th."
*lawyer slams the bench* "Tell me why pussy."
"My micropenis is none of your business!"
"The defense rests its case."

After the lawyers argued both sides of the case and showed the jury all of the admissible evidence in the trial, the judge addressed the jury before they went to make their decision.
"Because this isn't a criminal case we can't have a HUNG jury."
*jury members point and laugh at brian*
"So make it quick."
*baby dick brian sobs loudly*

30 seconds passed and the jury reached a unanimous decision, deeming that the plaintiff's micropenis was obviously means to void the contract and that the defendant did not have to perform oral sex.  Brian addressed the media after he left the courthouse.
"THANKS FOR THE BLUE BALLS ASSHOLES."