In the plaintiff's opinion the female party did not perform her end of the deal which, as you can see from the evidence, was to perform oral sex.
"What was the defendant's mindset when she accepted the contract?"
"The D(efendant) clearly wanted the D."
"How could you tell?"
"She literally told me that she wanted the D."
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| Evidence #4206969 |
The defendant however acknowledged her "thirstiness" and went on to explain her version of the story.
"What happened when the plaintiff dropped his drawers?"
"BOOM BABY DICK."
"And how did that make you feel?"
"Like I had a legal obligation to laugh my ass off."
The plaintiff was later charged on this accusation.
"Is it true that your nickname in high school is baby dick brian?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"I plead the 5th."
*lawyer slams the bench* "Tell me why pussy."
"My micropenis is none of your business!"
"The defense rests its case."
After the lawyers argued both sides of the case and showed the jury all of the admissible evidence in the trial, the judge addressed the jury before they went to make their decision.
"Because this isn't a criminal case we can't have a HUNG jury."
*jury members point and laugh at brian*
"So make it quick."
*baby dick brian sobs loudly*
30 seconds passed and the jury reached a unanimous decision, deeming that the plaintiff's micropenis was obviously means to void the contract and that the defendant did not have to perform oral sex. Brian addressed the media after he left the courthouse.
"THANKS FOR THE BLUE BALLS ASSHOLES."
