5. Dentist Issued
Look on the bright side, at least your parent, step-parent,
and/or legal guardian takes you to to the dentist. You know you are getting a
deep clean with these bad boys by the amount of blood gushing out of your gums.
Don’t get the brush too bloody, chances are this will be the toothbrush you
will be using for the next two years.
4. Family Pack
Congratulations! Your guardian decided to drop some real
change of these colorful and fun brushes. Grab one quick, you don't want to be
stuck with the gay teal one (AquaMarine#4). Along with #5 on our list, these
brushes (with proper technique) will give you that swollen gum, middle-lower
class, teenager look that the ladies love. You can pick up these basic yet
effective brushes at K-Mart for $3.99 (Pack of 4)
3. The Colgate 360
Holy Cow! Your parents really don't want the thousands of
dollars that went to your ortodonist to go to waste! The reason this gem is
entitled the ‘360’ because when you’re done brushing you’ll want to turn 360
degrees and brush your teeth again! The bristles have been called the ‘egyptian
cotton’ of toothbrushes so you’ll be brushing in comfort achieving that killer
smile. ;D
2. The Vibrator
NASA invented the first pulsating toothbrush back in 1925 by
complete accident, now thanks to advancements in current technology and the
dropping price of labor this intricate piece of machinery can be purchased at
your local Rite-Aid or CVS. Commonly found in Christmas Stockings, this brush
will vibrate your dental problems away. If you own this brush be thankful, your
parents are proud of the person you are growing up to be. Oh by the way don't
forget wednesday is family game night.
1. The Plaque-Destroyer 9000
If this toothbrush is upstairs charging in your, most likely
personal, bathroom then congratulations, this is the big leagues. This bad boy
runs on lithium-ion batteries which everyone knows is an elemental subdivision
derived from moon rocks. If you ever wonder why you are an only child its
because your parents thought that they couldn't possibly do better than you.
You’re going to do just fine.
