1. THEY CAN BE EASILY AGITATED
White girls can often times be dangerous and make
unexpected moves, so it’s best to stay away from certain topics of
conversation. These topics include: their “bf”, their “ex bf”, their clothing,
their grammer, there spelling, and of course, how much they’ve had to drink.
“FCKKK YOU. THISS IS MYY TEMTH SHOT ND IM NNOT EVBEN
BUZZZSZED”
*takes fourth shot of the night*
*vomits all over bf*
2. MANY OF THEM DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF MONEY
White girls are known to make foolish purchases
“i bought hello kitty iphone case”
“didn’t you just buy a sailboat one last week?”
“omg sailboats are SO last week”
3. THEY CONGREGATE IN SPECIFIC PLACES
White girls can most commonly be spotted at the mall, at
Starbucks, or at a Starbucks at the mall.
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4. THEY MAKE DISTINCT SOUNDS
Late at night, if you listen closely enough, you can hear
the mating call of the white girl
*creeps into bushes in a suburban neighborhood*
*distant yelling can be heard*
“…uggs! uggs! …*you’re … *you’re!”
5. THEY SPEAK A HIDDEN LANGUAGE
Most conversations between groups of white girls cannot
be understood by your common English speaker. Professor of Language Studies at Columbia
University, Dr. Kenny Girlman, has deciphered much of their cryptic tongue:
“You see, ‘Starbucks uggs stickers glitter’
roughly translates to “I enjoy over-priced coffee, shoes, and decorative items.
And ‘Twitter white iPhone *you’re’ loosely means, ‘I often post ignorant
statements on the internet’. The language of white girls is fascinating to say
the least!” – Dr. Girlman at the 2013 World Language Conference
