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420: teens smoke after school "dude, do you ever think like, what if you were a chick? like what if- "WHAT IF YOU PASSED THE FUCKING BLUNT?"                   RAGE: teen plays Pokemon Gold *at pokecenter* *rapidly clicking A* *accidentally clicks A too much and the nurse starts talking again* NOOOO                   BROAH: teens "out bro" each other "sup bro?" "sup bromo sapien?" "sup tony bromo?" "sup BROSEIDON, KING OF THE BROCEAN, SLAYER OF MERM POON"                   SUPER SMASH BROTHAS: teen claims Nintendo is racist "there's no black people in super smash" well, there IS donkey ko- *gets ass beat hard*                   VIDEO GAMES: teen gets upset while playing Halo "why's this homo called master chef he never even cooks" "it's chief" "he's not even indian"                   FML: a white teen was seen crying at starbucks this morning after they got her order wrong "here is your mocha frappe" "YOU'RE*"                   TRIPPY: teens drop acid for the first time "grasshoppers are the dubstep of nature" "holy shit bro that's so deep" "i'm a young socrates"                   BRAWL: teen loses fight to local bully "i don't get it. i watched the whole 1st season of dragon ball z" "i should have destroyed him"                   HIGH: teens smoke while their parents are out "WAIT get the dog outta here. he'll tell my mom" *stares at dog for 30 seconds* "you're right"                   CENSORED: 10th grade teen refuses to say "the n word" during a class reading of To Kill A Mockingbird "there were black kids in that class"                   TRAGIC: teen reportedly "never seen again" after entering a Hot Topic "we begged him not to enter that store" "he belongs to the mall now"                   STUDY: teen crams for exam PREPARE THE LUBE MOTHER *jams textbook into anus* i guess you can say ill be pulling the answers...OUT OF MY ASS                   GERIATRIC: teens talk about the future "isn't it crazy that they'll play dubstep at our nursing homes?" "skrillex is our frank sinatra"                   HEALTH: teens converse while smoking cigs "can cell phones really give you cancer?" "i hope not" *takes drag* "i'd hate to get cancer"                   TRAGIC: teen reportedly "never seen again" after entering a Hot Topic "we begged him not to enter that store" "he belongs to the mall now"                   WHIP GAME: teens hit the go kart track "mushrooms and racing was a great idea" "i feel like mario" "haha steve is just staring at the wheel"                   420: "son, can you look up how many grams are in an ounce?" "oh, it's 28" "why do you know that?" "because i love... the metric system" "oh"                   WOAH: teens get rowdy while driving "yo call that guy a fag and then drive off" "FAG!" "haha yes, we are so badass" *everyone high fives*                   TEEN TALK: "is the double condom method more effective?" "a condom inside a condom? that's like inception dude" "...more like CONTRACEPTION"

9 THINGS NOT TO SAY WHEN PULLED OVER

Teens get pulled over because teens are terrible drivers.  There's certain ethnic and gender groups that we won't mention by name that might be worse, but this is about you.  If you have never been pulled over you probably still know the routine.  The cop asks "do you know why I pulled you over son?" and you say the wrong thing and the cop beats the crap out of you.  Here's what NOT to say.


 9) "I'M FUCKING HAMMERED"

 Yes, I know YOLO.  Even though the hip new trend is to drive drunk, don't do it, because it's almost impossible to take shots while driving.  If you do though, why would you ever tell a police officer that when field sobriety tests are a very fun drunk activity.

 8) "Good day, officer."

 Fuck the police.  Don't wish this asshole a good day, he pulled you over.  You were on your way to your bro's house and the five minutes you spend dealing with his shit is five less minutes you can rip his sweet new bong.

 7) "What's up bro?"

 Cops are clearly not bros.  He is not your broliceman or your brofficer, he is giving you a $100 ticket for not stopping for that bullshit stop sign in your own neighborhood because he's a dick.

 6) "I'm kind of in a rush..."

 No, no, no, no, no, no, NO.  Why would you EVER even THINK to say this!?  The police species aims to disrupt as many possible days as they can.  As soon as you let them know you've got shit to do, which you obviously do, he's gonna get a rock solid baton in his pants and take as long as humanly possible.

5) "Yes officer, I know why I'm being pulled over."

 It's pretty much a rhetorical question when they ask you if you know.  Obviously you know that you broke some bullshit law and some bullshit old man is going to give you a bullshit ticket that he could have given to a thousand other people...bullshit.

 4) "Why would there be weed in the car?"

 If an officer asks you if there is weed in the car you can't ask him why would he think that because the cop has basically just told you that you look like a cool dude.  Don't turn down free compliments man, you got that stoner look working for you.

 3) "Yes there is weed in the car."

 Come on, you're better than this.

 2) "No there isn't weed in the car."

 Don't lie to the police.  They can lock you up for that shit.  We know you just copped a fresh dub and as long as this article helps you learn your lesson you'll be high in ten minutes if you don't fucking say the word weed.

1) "I'm black."

 If the racist police officer doesn't already know, don't tell him.