The state of New Jersey is on the cutting edge of "cool prevention" programs in the U.S. and a prime example of this legislation is the required age of 19 to purchase tobacco. Many NJ teens claim that since they have the potential to serve in the military and the ability to vote in government elections they should be able to "smoke a bogie" from time to time.
*walks into store in united states armed forces attire*
"can i have a pack of marlboro 27s please?"
"can i see ID?"
"SIR YES SIR"
"...get outta here!"
*military crawls out of the store*
In this case however, none of the teens felt politically entitled to tobacco because "fuck no i'm not going to fight a bunch of people with beards in a desert" and "voting is the gayest thing a person can do". They did still have problems buying the cigarettes they so desired.
FIRST ATTEMPT:
*puts cig behind ear to look older*
"do you have ID?"
"nah i left it in my car"
"well...can you get it?"
After failing their first attempt the group of teens sent their oldest looking member to try the second cashier in the hopes that his half beard would sway the employee to forgo the law.
SECOND ATTEMPT:
"pack of marlboro menthols dude"
"can i see ID?"
"i have a beard bro"
"can i see ID?"
Two tries unsurprisingly to no avail, the teens decided to outsource their next attempt to the "coolest older looking dude" who was about to go into the store.
*25 year old man with snapback*
"can you help us out man?"
"fuck off kids"
*20 year old attractive woman*
"can you help us out miss?"
"no that's illegal"
*64 year old man*
"can you help us out sir?"
"what do you liberals need, i haven't turned a man down since 'nam and i won't forget that decision for as long as i live, which probably won't be much longer because i've developed this terri-"
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| vietnam vets base their swag off of the big lebowski |
After listening to about five minutes of stories that the teens didn't care about they finally explained to the old man that they wanted a pack of marlboro menthols.
THIRD ATTEMPT:
"a pack of marlboro menthols"
"are you buying them for those kids outside?"
"what does it matter to you if i was you hippie bitch"
"i can't give these to you"
"NIXON WAS THE GREATEST PRESIDENT OF ALL TIME...sorry kids"
The teens were successful on their fourth and final attempt after deciding to relocate behind the store and asking for a different brand of cigarettes. However, they quickly realized their quest wasn't over.
"dude we forgot a lighter"
*goes into store*
"can i have a lighter please?"
"do you have ID?"
"FOR A FUCKING LIGHTER!?
