In what can only be described as the fashion equivalent of the apocalypse, there has been an absolute uproar within the teenage community regarding the rampant use of neon colors in prom dresses this year.
Yes, folks, you read it right. We are deep in the trenches of what has been aptly named the "Neon Siege" by the distressed youths of this community.
Alicia, a sophomore, shares her traumatic ordeal. "I was shopping online for my prom dress, and everything—literally EVERYTHING—was neon! I felt like I'd stepped into a 1980s aerobic workout video. I just wanted a nice, pastel pink dress, not a walking glow-stick costume."
The neon epidemic doesn't end with prom dresses, though. It has taken hold of the tuxedos too. Mike, a senior, who was ready to don a James Bond-like classic black tux, expressed his dismay, "Every tux was paired with a neon bow tie or vest. I looked like a rejected backup dancer for a pop star."
The situation has caused such distress that even the school authorities are getting involved. The Principal, Mr. Roberts, a stern man of fifty who rarely engages with trends, was found googling "What is neon?" He stated, "The students are upset, and we've had parents asking if we're hosting prom or a rave. We're considering setting a dress code."
What led to the neon onslaught remains unclear. Some blame it on fashion industry trendsetters pushing their luck too far, while others suggest it's the result of some obscure TikTok trend that exploded overnight. A theory also suggests alien involvement, but that might just be the South Park effect influencing our perspectives.
The teenage population is being forced to adapt to this fashion calamity. Some students have found their solution by embracing vintage, turning to their parents' prom pictures from the '80s and '90s for inspiration. Others have chosen to turn this crisis into an opportunity for individualism by sewing their own prom clothes.
As we wait for this neon storm to pass, if you're a teenager stuck in the glow of the neon siege, here's what you can do:
Try mixing neon elements with classic colors to balance it out.
Embrace the neon. After all, everyone will be glowing, literally.
DIY your prom outfit—nothing screams 'unique' like a self-made outfit.
Stay tuned as we continue to navigate the neon nightmare and keep you updated on the latest developments in the "Neon Siege". Remember, in these glowing times, being seen is the least of your problems.
