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WHITE GIRL: teen asked what 5 things she would bring to a deserted island 1. uggs 2. iPhone 3. iPhone charger 4. starbucks giftcard 5. my bf                   UNEMPLOYED: teen fills out a job application HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A FELONY? Yes. IF YES, EXPLAIN. I murder every beat I rap on.                   NOSTALGIA: HS freshmen have a "remember the 90's" night "this is gunna be so rad!!" *they sit around and watch Max Keeble's Big Move (2001)*                   PHILOSOPHICAL: teen speaks his mind "two wrongs don't make a right, but one bong makes it alright" "yo, one must first turn down to turn up"                   BUSTED: a shirtless teen was seen smoking a cigarette while riding a longboard. Police arrested him for being "too cool" in a school zone                   CLASSIC: 7th grader settles down and watches Family Guy *peter farts on screen for 45 seconds* "seth macfarlane is nothing short of genius"                   LIFE CHANGING: teen has an epiphany while driving "what if... *slams on brakes* "WHAT IF THEY MADE DISPOSABLE SOCKS"                   RIPPED: teens claim to have smoked that celebrity kush "i'm emma stoned" "i'm baked shelton" "i can't think of one...but i'm high af"                   ART: teen shows off his photography skills "i took a picture of a tree man" "so??" "....then i made it black and white" "woah that's deep"                   WONDERWALL: : teen learns guitar to pick up girls *strums a single G chord* "i'm gunna get so fucking laid"                   RAGER: dozens of teens flock to the local river after hearing reports that the water is "raging" "turn up!" *drowns in river*                   VIOLENT: teen in critical condition after being assaulted during a game of Mario Party "i told that piece of shit not to steal my star"                   SMOOTH: teen uses a classic pickup line "you like marijuana?" ummm, yeah! "marijuwanna suck my dick?" *gets laid so hard*                   HIGH TIMES: teens smoke weed after school "dude... sinks are like showers but for your hands" *passes joint* ..bro that's fucking adorable                   RAGER: dozens of teens flock to the local river after hearing reports that the water is "raging" "turn up!" *drowns in river*                   CRIMINAL: teen sent to a youth correctional facility for inappropriate internet usage "he used 8 hashtags" ...so? "on facebook" LOCK HIM UP                   RAGE: teen plays Pokemon Gold *at pokecenter* *rapidly clicking A* *accidentally clicks A too much and the nurse starts talking again* NOOOO                   CANDIE: Teen sent to office after making a 'shank' by sucking on a Push-Pop™ over a period of time "7th grades tough gotta stay strapped"                   BROAH: teens "out bro" each other "sup bro?" "sup bromo sapien?" "sup tony bromo?" "sup BROSEIDON, KING OF THE BROCEAN, SLAYER OF MERM POON"

JONAH HILL IS NOT A REAL PERSON

Astounding video evidence has revealed that Jonah Hill is not a real person.  In an indisputable four part series, the team at 420 Conspiracies, has convinced Teen News.

We'll simply embed all the videos and let you, the teens, decide.