NEW BRUNSWICK, NEW JERSEY:
Three 17 year old teenagers from NJ were found dead early this morning in one of their mother's basement. Officers say their deaths were a result of a mixtape they listened to on the internet.
"These boys stumbled across a RARE LIFESTYLES mixtape, specifically #slappers. Music like this is way too extremely fucking rare to just be listened to on a whim" - James Plunkett (Responding Officer)
All teens were found with their skulls "blowed the fuck up" and their testicles "scattered around the room like jelly beans."
"The bass was too hard. It slapped their brains out of their heads basically. I saw the same thing happen back in 09 when Skrillex started getting popular" - Dr. Mike Lipshitz (Local Coroner)
We here at Teen News urge all readers: DO NOT LISTEN to the following mixtape. It can cause death via brain slappage.
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