SEXIEST SFW PORN |teen news

RAGE: teen plays Pokemon Gold *at pokecenter* *rapidly clicking A* *accidentally clicks A too much and the nurse starts talking again* NOOOO FRESH: teen learns the true power of swag *stomps into the club wearing light up sneakers* "sup bitches" *gets dick sucked to death* PISSED: teen gets fed up with teacher "can i use the bathroom?" "i don't know, CAN you?" *takes deep breath* *pisses all over teachers desk* UNEMPLOYED: teen fills out a job application HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A FELONY? Yes. IF YES, EXPLAIN. I murder every beat I rap on. TRAGEDY: local teen legitimately "dies from boredom" "he forgot to bring his iphone with him in the bathroom" "sad day for teens everywhere" BLAZED: pre-teens have their first sips of beer "when am i gonna get high?" "i've had like three. i.....i think i'm feelin it" KOOLS: teen buys cigs to impress girls "can i get a pack of boges?" "what kind?" *lowers shades* "the kind that gives you the most cancer" VIDEO GAMES: teen gets upset while playing Halo "why's this homo called master chef he never even cooks" "it's chief" "he's not even indian" You can support the site by clicking an ad if it is relevant to your interests! EASY LIVIN: teens are out of school and ready to let loose for the summer! "yo man i'm bored af" "me too" TRIPPY: teens drop acid for the first time "grasshoppers are the dubstep of nature" "holy shit bro that's so deep" "i'm a young socrates" SCHOOL: "ms. jones is def in the illuminati dude. she's always talkin about triangles" "she's a geometry teacher" "...the fuck's geometry?" UNEMPLOYED: teen fills out a job application HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A FELONY? Yes. IF YES, EXPLAIN. I murder every beat I rap on. BAKED: teens get so high on marijuana they "forgot the alamo" "the what??" "DUDE WE WERE SUPPOSED TO REMEMBER THIS SHIT" TRIPPY: teens drop acid for the first time "grasshoppers are the dubstep of nature" "holy shit bro that's so deep" "i'm a young socrates" ROMANCE: teen learns the power of seduction "i have alcohol, weed, and an open house. wanna come over?" *gets laid to death* GOSSIP: 7th graders talk rumors "i heard tina gave billy a handjob behind the bleachers after school" for real? "yea" wait what's a handjob? GTA: teen love gaming! "wait guys, don't you think this game is a little offensive to women?" *silence* "LOL JK" *kills another hooker* OBAMA CARES: teens have no idea "the government is gonna shut down!?" "yea something about a tea party" "wow politics is so gay"

You're sitting in geometry class and that totally milf teacher's magnificent cleavage is giving you the most exxxtreme boner of all time, so you quietly slip out of the room and head to the bathroom to jerk it. Upon pulling out your iphone you realize the school administration has blocked all "adult" content on their wifi and now you're in quite a sticky situation. How are you supposed to jack it without porn? You're a virgin so reminiscing on past sexual experences is out of the question, but what else is there too do? Don't worry my friend I have the answer, Safe-For-Work (SFW) Porn, it's totally hot and completely legal to look at whilst you're in school. So sit back, grab a box of tissues and enjoy this list of the 8 sexiest examples of SFW porn.

#1. Captain "Cack" Sparrow