SEXIEST SFW PORN |teen news

NOSTALGIA: HS freshmen have a "remember the 90's" night "this is gunna be so rad!!" *they sit around and watch Max Keeble's Big Move (2001)* RAGER: dozens of teens flock to the local river after hearing reports that the water is "raging" "turn up!" *drowns in river* TRAGIC: teen reportedly "never seen again" after entering a Hot Topic "we begged him not to enter that store" "he belongs to the mall now" ROMANCE: teens go on a date to see Monsters University *girl tries to make out with guy* "BITCH SWERVE I'M TRYNA RELIVE MY CHILDHOOD" GTA: teen love gaming! "wait guys, don't you think this game is a little offensive to women?" *silence* "LOL JK" *kills another hooker* YOU GIVE BUD A BAD NAME: teen gets creative "i named my piece Bong Jovi" dude that's sick *rips bong so dang hard* "WE'RE HALFWAY THEREEE OH POPPIN: local teen overdoses on swagger "once he popped his fourth collar his neck couldn't take the pressure and just snapped" "RIP chad" UNEMPLOYED: teen gets turned down at local super market for putting "rolls hella dope blunts" on his resume "how is that not a good skill??" TRUTH: cop teaches class on drug awareness "honestly guys... pot isn't bad for you" *class gives standing ovation* *cop starts breakdancing* CENSORED: 10th grade teen refuses to say "the n word" during a class reading of To Kill A Mockingbird "there were black kids in that class" BAZINGA: teen breaks up with girlfriend for complicated reasons "she liked the big bang theory" "i just couldn't respect her as a person" PHILOSOPHICAL: teen speaks his mind "two wrongs don't make a right, but one bong makes it alright" "yo, one must first turn down to turn up" HOLLAWEEN: Teens discuss their halloween costumes "im dressin up as a mocha frappe gonna be watchin the bitches flock" "im going as molly" BUSTED: teens get pulled over on the highway "is there any marijuana in the vehicle?" "lol of course dude it's the HIGHway" "have fun kids" BAZINGA: teen breaks up with girlfriend for complicated reasons "she liked the big bang theory" "i just couldn't respect her as a person" YUNG LOVE: teen receives a text from his gf "i miss u" "i literally just left your house" "k" *throws phone at wall* iOSHEAVEN: Teens marvel in Apple's latest conquest "iOS 7 is better than being alive" "now i can die happy" "i feel steve jobs inside me" DRUGSTEP: christian parents worried about teenage son "have you been smoking dubstep?" "mom what??" "DON'T LIE TO ME WHERE'S THE SKRILLEX" GAMECUBE: teens gear up for Super Smash Brothers Melee "i'm green falco" "i'm normal falco" "i'm red falco" "i'm ice climbers" "...fag"

You're sitting in geometry class and that totally milf teacher's magnificent cleavage is giving you the most exxxtreme boner of all time, so you quietly slip out of the room and head to the bathroom to jerk it. Upon pulling out your iphone you realize the school administration has blocked all "adult" content on their wifi and now you're in quite a sticky situation. How are you supposed to jack it without porn? You're a virgin so reminiscing on past sexual experences is out of the question, but what else is there too do? Don't worry my friend I have the answer, Safe-For-Work (SFW) Porn, it's totally hot and completely legal to look at whilst you're in school. So sit back, grab a box of tissues and enjoy this list of the 8 sexiest examples of SFW porn.

#1. Captain "Cack" Sparrow