SEXIEST SFW PORN |teen news

STRUDEL'D: Teens get physical after toaster strudel incident "BRO DID YOU USE TWO PACKETS OF ICING" "yea?" "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE" MEMORIAL DAY: teen remembers the players that died in a Call of Duty team deathmatch "R.I.P. EternalVirgin, bonglover69, and BROBROBRO1" SENSUAL: teen sets up for a perfect date "candle lit dinner, bottle of red wine, and a copy of spy kids on blu ray" *gets 100 blowjobs* SCHOOL: "ms. jones is def in the illuminati dude. she's always talkin about triangles" "she's a geometry teacher" "...the fuck's geometry?" BEEFIN: 7th grader claims to "have beef" w/ his mother after she forgot to pack Zebra Cakes in his lunchbox "bitch knows i need my z cakes" BEEFIN: 7th grader claims to "have beef" w/ his mother after she forgot to pack Zebra Cakes in his lunchbox "bitch knows i need my z cakes" CANDIE: Teen sent to office after making a 'shank' by sucking on a Push-Pop™ over a period of time "7th grades tough gotta stay strapped" DRIVE THRU: teens smoke and go to Taco Bell "can i have a taco? HELLO??" dude you gotta lower the window "this is too complicated" *leaves* DAFT: teens attempt to stay up all night to get lucky "if we stay awake long enough we get laid, right?" "yea that's what the song says" BUSTED: a shirtless teen was seen smoking a cigarette while riding a longboard. Police arrested him for being "too cool" in a school zone FISH ARE FRIENDS: a white girl posts a facebook status Becky: i'm FINna watch some shark week! Hannah: omg so creative! Becky: love uuuuuuu STUDY: teen crams for exam PREPARE THE LUBE MOTHER *jams textbook into anus* i guess you can say ill be pulling the answers...OUT OF MY ASS FASHION: as camouflage becomes more fashionable, teens become harder and harder to spot "shit where did Tim go?" "lol i'm right here dude!" RAP GAME: teen claims to have "2nd degree murdered" the track after rhyming "zimmerman" with "swimmer tan" however a florida jury disagreed FISH ARE FRIENDS: a white girl posts a facebook status Becky: i'm FINna watch some shark week! Hannah: omg so creative! Becky: love uuuuuuu DIESEL: teen gets pulled over "officer, i know i was speeding i was just really mad" *officer lowers shades* "so you were FAST and FURIOUS?" FASHION: as camouflage becomes more fashionable, teens become harder and harder to spot "shit where did Tim go?" "lol i'm right here dude!" SCIENTIFIC: studies indicate that 3 out of every 4 teens smoke marijuana. Coincidentally, scientists also found that 1 in 4 teens are nerds NO HOMO: local 6th grader claims he would "suck dick for some lunchables" He further stated that he doesn't know what "suck dick" means

You're sitting in geometry class and that totally milf teacher's magnificent cleavage is giving you the most exxxtreme boner of all time, so you quietly slip out of the room and head to the bathroom to jerk it. Upon pulling out your iphone you realize the school administration has blocked all "adult" content on their wifi and now you're in quite a sticky situation. How are you supposed to jack it without porn? You're a virgin so reminiscing on past sexual experences is out of the question, but what else is there too do? Don't worry my friend I have the answer, Safe-For-Work (SFW) Porn, it's totally hot and completely legal to look at whilst you're in school. So sit back, grab a box of tissues and enjoy this list of the 8 sexiest examples of SFW porn.

#1. Captain "Cack" Sparrow