A teen in a family of four only has a day to get his family Christmas gifts, but he doesn't feel like leaving the house. What household items are perfect for your sister, mother, and father?
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| LAREDO, TX - A fourteen year old boy gives teen news the inside scoop on how he managed to get Christmas presents for his entire family in under 20 minutes. First off, his old man. "Dad was the easiest. All I did was steal some of his vodka, refill the vodka up with water and put the vodka in a water bottle labeled "Dad's Secret Formula". Regifting with the gift that keeps on taking away, amazing. Admitting that his mom was more difficult and that he would "probably have to put some effort into it" he decided to make her a Christmas Card. "To Mom, Love [NAME REMAINS ANONYMOUS FOR HIS OWN PROTECTION]" The key to this gift is clearly the simplicity, just subtly interchanging the "from" to "love" turns this gift from a "cheap piece of shit" into a "cute cheap piece of shit". While a drunk dad and a depressed mom were normal for this boy's family, he needed some way to maintain the bitchiness of his sister. "This one was the toughest of all, but I decided to literally get her nothing." He wasn't kidding, he told us that he put a ball of wrapping paper under the tree, just for her.
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