Menu

FML: a white teen was seen crying at starbucks this morning after they got her order wrong "here is your mocha frappe" "YOU'RE*"                   BETTER LUCK NEXT RHYME: teen loses a rap battle "spark the blunt with my bic, yea boy i'll suck your dick" "WAIT NO HOMO" "stfu juicy gay"                   PRUDE: teen admits he has never kissed a girl "dude how? you're 18" "cause i only kiss women...like YOUR MOM" "YOU GOT ME AGAIN BRO!" *bro5*                   EASY LIVIN: teens are out of school and ready to let loose for the summer! "yo man i'm bored af" "me too"                   STUDY: teen crams for exam PREPARE THE LUBE MOTHER *jams textbook into anus* i guess you can say ill be pulling the answers...OUT OF MY ASS                   HOLLAWEEN: Teens discuss their halloween costumes "im dressin up as a mocha frappe gonna be watchin the bitches flock" "im going as molly"                   DRIVE THRU: teens smoke and go to Taco Bell "can i have a taco? HELLO??" dude you gotta lower the window "this is too complicated" *leaves*                   SIZZURP: Teens shocked after idol Lil Wayne goes into a codeine coma. "#PrayForWeezy" "if he dies we should def get school off"                   UNEMPLOYED: teen fills out a job application HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A FELONY? Yes. IF YES, EXPLAIN. I murder every beat I rap on.                   TEEN CRISIS: "hello 911? yes. my internet went out in the middle of a jerk sesh" "what do you mean this isn't an emergency??" "put obama on"                   STYLE: teen wears new scarf to school "what's that bro? a cum rag?" "nah, it's a pussy eating bib" *walks into girl's locker room*                   MAIL: teen writes love letter to gf babe, ilu more then weed. well, u nd weed r prolly bout equal bc i luv weed alot but still love, steve                   SCIENTIFIC: teen "experiments" with homosexuality *analyzes litmus paper* "just as i hypothesized.." *writes down data* "i'm gay"                   FLIRT: teens interact sexually "is that an iPhone in your pants or are you just happy to see me?" "it's a Samsung Galaxy you stupid bitch"                   STYLE: teen wears new scarf to school "what's that bro? a cum rag?" "nah, it's a pussy eating bib" *walks into girl's locker room*                   SOLAR SHOUTOUT: teens study for astronomy "earth is a planet, whats the sun?" "its our world's star" "WORLDSTAR?" "WORLDSTAR" *they go nuts*                   BUSTED: a shirtless teen was seen smoking a cigarette while riding a longboard. Police arrested him for being "too cool" in a school zone                   CHAT: teens talk on AIMâ„¢ Sk8rBoy - did she blow u? Dude86 - yea, but she sucked dick at it Sk8rBoy - is that good or bad? Dude86 - lmao dude                   BETTER LUCK NEXT RHYME: teen loses a rap battle "spark the blunt with my bic, yea boy i'll suck your dick" "WAIT NO HOMO" "stfu juicy gay"

CHLAMYDIA - THE REAL GRINCH



There's one thing that can ruin your Christmas faster than a fuzzy green monster played by Jim Carey.  Over their first winter break, an outbreak of a particular Grinch has spread through homebound college freshmen.

MADISON, WI - A major rise in frequency of the amount of visits to the local doctor's office had the parents of a particularly active peer group asking all the wrong questions.

"Isn't it weird that all of our daughters have been sitting on infected toilet seats lately?" - Concerned Father

"I wonder why my Stacy doesn't have as many of her boyfriends over since she's gotten sick?" - Concerned Father

"Sarah, who have you been fucking?" - Concerned Mother

In order to fully understand the complexity of the situation one must keep in mind the nature of fathers.  Most dads have banged at least one girl in their lifetime statistically, and most of those girls have had dads, statistically.  However, almost all dads fail to realize that their daughters will also end up banging dudes.  The complete ignorance of history in the male patriarchy is the reason there were two world wars, two bush presidents, and two interracial Kardashian engagements.

no one man should have all that sour
The next topic of man caves in Madison will be "they're still our little girls...they're just our little girls with chlamydia".

25 Days of Christmas
December 1st Advent Calendars
December 2nd Holiday Decorating
December 3rd WTF Happened To The Radio Part 1
December 4th Christmas Trees Are Just Plants
December 5th Hanukkah In Review
December 6th "Happy Holidays"
December 7th Ebay Christmas Ornaments
December 8th Dear Santa,
December 9th Holiday Drinks
December 10th Pumpkin Spice Latte VS. Peppermint Mocha Frappuccino
December 11th Snow Blows
December 12nd XXX-Mas
December 13th Desolation of Smaug (Christmas)
December 14th WTF Happened To The Radio Part 2
December 15th Wait, Christmas Is Religious AF
December 16th Rudolph - The Ginger Reindeer
December 17th What To Get Your Girlfriend For Christmas
December 18th Chlamydia - The Real Grinch
December 19th Why You Want To Be On The Naughty List
December 20th Christmas Movies...That Will Get You Laid
December 21st Looking Back At The End Of The World
December 22nd Stocking Stuffers (NSFW)
December 23rd Last Second Gifts
December 24th Twas The Night Before Christmas
December 25th Merry F****** Christmas