ADVENT CALENDARS

It's December and teen news is getting in the holiday spirit by bringing you a Christmas themed article everyday from now until Christmas in the TEEN NEWS 25 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS SPECTACULAR EVENT THAT WILL BE REMEMBERED FOR ALL TIME.  Or for short, the 25 Days of Christmas, to kick off let's take a close look at Advent Calendars. It doesn't get more logical than this, the count-up to Christmas begins by examining a count-up to Christmas.  Christception.
Advent is the season in which Christians "anticipate" the birth of one Jesus (pronounced "hey-zeus") Christ even though the world's most famous carpenter died over 2,000 years ago.  However, the nostalgic christians advent has absolutely nothing to do with advent calendars whose dates (December 1st through December 25th) are loosely, at best, based on their namesake, but really serve to count down to the pinnacle of consumer culture in these United States. Consumer culture and excess purchases started on Christmas when three old "wise" men brought a baby frankincense, gold, and myrrh (allegedly).  I'm sure gold was probably still "in" back then, but I have no fucking idea why these guys thought this newborn would be immediately concerned with his fashion sense upon entering the world.  Maybe they thought that "the son of god" would pop out Benjamin Button style, but slightly younger and definitely more Brad Pitt esque.  At any rate, I couldn't tell you what frankincense or myrrh are, and I'll be damned if a baby could either.  Oh, and you're welcome ladies for turning your mental image of your lord and savior jesus christ into a holy brad pitt. i turned into a baby for your sins Advent Calendars usually allow a child (or socially underdeveloped teen) to receive a small token every Earth day for checking the calendar. *opens the December 1st box* "what the fudge mom, a peppermint?!" "all you did was look at a fucking calendar, what the fuck do you want, some fucking frankincense or myrrh?" the signature dish of sweden	25 Days of Christmas December 1st Advent Calendars December 2nd Holiday Decorating December 3rd WTF Happened To The Radio Part 1 December 4th Christmas Trees Are Just Plants December 5th Hanukkah In Review December 6th "Happy Holidays" December 7th Ebay Christmas Ornaments December 8th Dear Santa, December 9th Holiday Drinks December 10th Pumpkin Spice Latte VS. Peppermint Mocha Frappuccino December 11th Snow Blows December 12nd XXX-Mas December 13th Desolation of Smaug (Christmas) December 14th WTF Happened To The Radio Part 2 December 15th Wait, Christmas Is Religious AF December 16th Rudolph - The Ginger Reindeer December 17th What To Get Your Girlfriend For Christmas December 18th Chlamydia - The Real Grinch December 19th Why You Want To Be On The Naughty List December 20th Christmas Movies...That Will Get You Laid December 21st Looking Back At The End Of The World December 22nd Stocking Stuffers (NSFW) December 23rd Last Second Gifts December 24th Twas The Night Before Christmas December 25th Merry F****** Christmas
A 2011 study conducted by the "Remember the 90s" organization found that a solid 50% of teens remember using an advent calendar and that 99% of those teens were extremely unsatisfied with the small piece of candy, sticker, or bible verse they received in return for the difficult task of flipping up a sign, peeling off a sticker, or opening a box.  The study also determined that the other 1% were most likely "trolls". ADVENT-ually teen news will post something good, check in sometime December 2nd for "Holiday Decorating".