So you finally got a girl to agree to go out with you? Impressive. You've done it. Don't even go on the date. You have already won. But if you do decide to go on this date, here's some places you can check out6. A Bowling Alley
Most alleys are shitty. We all know that. They're filled with ghetto ass cats and people who want to shank you. But bowling alleys are different. Bowling alleys are the perfect place for your first date. First of all, they give you your own shoes, so you don't have to worry about your gay ass Chuck Taylor's diminishing your swag. Secondly, you get to prove to your date how strong you are by using the biggest ball (make sure you roll it with both hands, chicks dig that). When it comes down to it, there's nothing girls love more than bowling alleys. Well, except for the next five items on the list
 |
| this list is just like, my opinion man |
5. An Ice Cream Shop
You scream, I scream, we all scream and scream and scream until our horrid shrieks mask the pain within us... Umm, sorry about that. Anyway bitches love ice cream. In fact, I love ice cream. Basically everyone who isn't lactose intolerant (see: homosexual) loves ice cream. Let me put it this way kid, you take her to your local ice shop, that won't be the only cream she's gunna be getting in her mouth that day
 |
| get that frozen yogurt shit outta here |
Okay, this one might seem a little crazy, but hear me out. What do girls love in a guy? A cute smile?? No. They want a guy who has the undeniable winning qualities of a true champion. And what better way to prove that to her than by kicking ass at free video game demos? Also, don't worry about them kicking you out, your date will probably be the first girl they've seen in weeks and won't care
 |
| girls and...VIDEO GAMES?? |
Imagine the night: candle lit dinner, a nice Penne Vodka with chicken, you try to order a bottle of wine but the waiter cards you. Sounds like a winning formula for sex in my opinion. Nice Italian restaurants were designed for nerds like you taking out girls way too hot for them. Before you even can blab out an awkward comment about her shirt, she's already face deep in some meatballs. And then before you know it, she'll be face deep in your balls
 |
| all you need now is money, a car, and self confidence |
Okay, now imagine the night: a florescent lighting dinner, four McDoubles, and then two more McDoubles. Sounds like a winning formula for a handjob in the parking lot in my opinion. The fast food route is the economic option for a young teen on the grind. Sometimes it can blow up in your face, but other times it can pay off. Imagine getting laid and not having to spend more than $7 on a date. Damn, I'm lovin' it
 |
| learn the differences between the value burgers, scrub |
My personal favorite first date, because it pretty much skips the date part all together and gets to the good part: awkward small talk and petty attempts at making out. Regardless, basement dates are great because they're cheap, traditional, and your dad gets to see the mediocre girls you're smashing. It truly is a winning situation for everyone involved
 |
| so you wanna like, sit on my couch? |
