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WOAH: teen finds out the secret to girls "it's all about politeness" *pulls out seat* "you look lovely" *ripsticks directly into her vagina*                   VIOLENT: teen in critical condition after being assaulted during a game of Mario Party "i told that piece of shit not to steal my star"                   SENSUAL: teen sets up for a perfect date "candle lit dinner, bottle of red wine, and a copy of spy kids on blu ray" *gets 100 blowjobs*                   BREAKING: teen girl makes post on public social media for all to see i am so fckinnn mad right now -why? -i don't want to talk about it                   SCIENCE PROJECT: "as you can see, the air flows through the water bec-" THIS IS A BONG "it's called a water pipe" GET OUT OF MY CLASSROOM                   MUSIC: h/s senior receives detention after arguing with his teacher "i said lil b is better than elton john" "i guess mr. ross isn't based"                   WOW: teen forcibly removed from house by father after he claimed to "not like Justin Timberlake" "YOU WILL RESPECT JT'S TALENT IN THIS HOME"                   HIGH: teens smoke while their parents are out "WAIT get the dog outta here. he'll tell my mom" *stares at dog for 30 seconds* "you're right"                   UNDERCOVER: mysterious teen tries to disuade his peers "maybe we should wait until we're 21 to drink" *moustache falls off* "WTF DAD"                   You can support the site by clicking an ad if it is relevant to your interests!                   DRIVE THRU: teens smoke and go to Taco Bell "can i have a taco? HELLO??" dude you gotta lower the window "this is too complicated" *leaves*                   POT: teen claims to be experiencing marijuana withdrawal "the room...it's so cold" bro u smoked for the first time yesterday "U DONT KNO ME"                   POLNO: Frat teen asks bros if a "black polo and flops" is an alright outfit for his grandmas funeral "dude u gotta at least wear sperrys"                   BREAKING: local mother arrested for throwing out her son's Pokemon cards. Among the cards was a holographic Mewtwo. She faces up to 20 years                   DRIVE THRU: teens smoke and go to Taco Bell "can i have a taco? HELLO??" dude you gotta lower the window "this is too complicated" *leaves*                   IDIOT: Teen throws big party but forgets one key element "dude i forgot music" "just use ur laptop" "i only have greenday" "mother of god"                   UNEMPLOYED: teen fills out a job application HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A FELONY? Yes. IF YES, EXPLAIN. I murder every beat I rap on.                   ROMANCE: teen learns the power of seduction "i have alcohol, weed, and an open house. wanna come over?" *gets laid to death*                   DUDE: teens make their Breaking Bad predictions "dude badgers gunna be the new heisenberg" *rips bong so fucking hard* "that wud be dopeeee"

6 BEST FIRST DATES FOR TEENS

So you finally got a girl to agree to go out with you? Impressive. You've done it. Don't even go on the date. You have already won. But if you do decide to go on this date, here's some places you can check out

6. A Bowling Alley

Most alleys are shitty. We all know that. They're filled with ghetto ass cats and people who want to shank you. But bowling alleys are different. Bowling alleys are the perfect place for your first date. First of all, they give you your own shoes, so you don't have to worry about your gay ass Chuck Taylor's diminishing your swag. Secondly, you get to prove to your date how strong you are by using the biggest ball (make sure you roll it with both hands, chicks dig that). When it comes down to it, there's nothing girls love more than bowling alleys. Well, except for the next five items on the list

this list is just like, my opinion man

5. An Ice Cream Shop

You scream, I scream, we all scream and scream and scream until our horrid shrieks mask the pain within us... Umm, sorry about that. Anyway bitches love ice cream. In fact, I love ice cream. Basically everyone who isn't lactose intolerant (see: homosexual) loves ice cream. Let me put it this way kid, you take her to your local ice shop, that won't be the only cream she's gunna be getting in her mouth that day

get that frozen yogurt
shit outta here
4. Gamestop

Okay, this one might seem a little crazy, but hear me out. What do girls love in a guy? A cute smile?? No. They want a guy who has the undeniable winning qualities of a true champion. And what better way to prove that to her than by kicking ass at free video game demos? Also, don't worry about them kicking you out, your date will probably be the first girl they've seen in weeks and won't care

girls and...VIDEO GAMES??
3. An Italian Restaurant

Imagine the night: candle lit dinner, a nice Penne Vodka with chicken, you try to order a bottle of wine but the waiter cards you. Sounds like a winning formula for sex in my opinion. Nice Italian restaurants were designed for nerds like you taking out girls way too hot for them. Before you even can blab out an awkward comment about her shirt, she's already face deep in some meatballs. And then before you know it, she'll be face deep in your balls

all you need now is money, a car,
and self confidence
2. A Fast Food Restaurant

Okay, now imagine the night: a florescent lighting dinner, four McDoubles, and then two more McDoubles. Sounds like a winning formula for a handjob in the parking lot in my opinion. The fast food route is the economic option for a young teen on the grind. Sometimes it can blow up in your face, but other times it can pay off. Imagine getting laid and not having to spend more than $7 on a date. Damn, I'm lovin' it

learn the differences between
the value burgers, scrub
1. Your Basement

My personal favorite first date, because it pretty much skips the date part all together and gets to the good part: awkward small talk and petty attempts at making out. Regardless, basement dates are great because they're cheap, traditional, and your dad gets to see the mediocre girls you're smashing. It truly is a winning situation for everyone involved

so you wanna like, sit on my couch?