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PROGRESSIVE: teens talk car insurance "would you bang Flo?" "i'd let her suck my dick" "i'd be down for a-" *lowers shades* "flojob" *high5*                   :'(: Girl found passed out after what friends call a 'white girl rampage' "becky was wayyy out of control" "she had likee 11 mochafrapss!!"                   ORATORY SKILLS: teen uses a classic tactic of rhetoric in a debate with his peer "you're gay" "no, YOU'RE gay" *teen stands in shock*                   RIPPED: teens claim to have smoked that celebrity kush "i'm emma stoned" "i'm baked shelton" "i can't think of one...but i'm high af"                   TRIPPY: teens drop acid for the first time "grasshoppers are the dubstep of nature" "holy shit bro that's so deep" "i'm a young socrates"                   iOSHEAVEN: Teens marvel in Apple's latest conquest "iOS 7 is better than being alive" "now i can die happy" "i feel steve jobs inside me"                   UNDERCOVER: mysterious teen tries to disuade his peers "maybe we should wait until we're 21 to drink" *moustache falls off* "WTF DAD"                   BREAKING: local mother arrested for throwing out her son's Pokemon cards. Among the cards was a holographic Mewtwo. She faces up to 20 years                   FANDANGO: 16 year olds try to see an R rated movie "i left my ID in-" *fake moustache falls off* "damnit" *sees grown ups 2*                   GRADES: teen girl prays she doesn't fail her history test "anything but an F, my parents will kill me!" boys reply "i guess she wants the D"                   ART: teen shows off his photography skills "i took a picture of a tree man" "so??" "....then i made it black and white" "woah that's deep"                   KOOLS: teen buys cigs to impress girls "can i get a pack of boges?" "what kind?" *lowers shades* "the kind that gives you the most cancer"                   SHY: teen refuses to get naked in front of her bf b/c she's "too fat" sources indicate bf "doesn't care" & "just wants to see some titties"                   SO CLOSE: teen blows it at the last minute "ready for sex girl?" oh yea! *sound of velcro shoes coming off* *pussy becomes drier than paper*                   ART: teen shows off his photography skills "i took a picture of a tree man" "so??" "....then i made it black and white" "woah that's deep"                   PUBERTY: 16 y/o feels confident with his newly grown facial hair "one packet of cigarettes please" no "okay!" *moonwalks out of 7/11*                   BAKED: teens get so high on marijuana they "forgot the alamo" "the what??" "DUDE WE WERE SUPPOSED TO REMEMBER THIS SHIT"                   STUDY: teen crams for exam PREPARE THE LUBE MOTHER *jams textbook into anus* i guess you can say ill be pulling the answers...OUT OF MY ASS                   BEEFIN: 7th grader claims to "have beef" w/ his mother after she forgot to pack Zebra Cakes in his lunchbox "bitch knows i need my z cakes"

8 HOT TEEN GIRLS I WOULD HAVE SEX WITH

This is pretty straightforward.  These are eight girls I, and hopefully you, would have sex with.  I think my standards are pretty high.


Hello #1.  In the "gangster rap" era of teen culture we all pretend it's ass over titties but i wouldn't mind having this girl's titties near my ass.  Yup.


Ever wanted to tell your friends you banged a cheerleader but aren't good enough looking to bang a cheerleader? Well, #2 is the exception to that rule.  She may be the straw that broke the camel's back but she's got enough team spirit for my penis.


#3 is a two for one and no i'm not talking about foreheads.  First off, I get to bang a bitch with a boyfriend which is basically the broest thing you can do except for banging a bitch without a boyfriend.  Second off, I get to bang a MILF! That stands for mildlyattractivebitch i'd like to fuck if you didn't already know.


EDIT: #4 is a really bad joke


The only thing that kicks more ass than this girl is the sex we're about to have! Well I could still kick #5's ass cause she is a female, but on the flip side let's hope wearing a "black belt" doesn't mean you're only into "black guys" but I'm sure there's probably not a connection...maybe.


Well #6....I would have sex with you.


I typed in Drake on google and this definitely isn't Drake, so just imagine a picture of Drake in your head because I'm sure you have a great imagination that wasn't totally destroyed by video games and that's #7.


I'm just going to level with you on this one.  This is a comedy article so I was looking for an ugly catholic schoolgirl to make a similar joke to the cheerleader one earlier.  That failed, I typed in fat catholic schoolgirl but apparently the internet is only fond of fat cheerleaders.  So with that in mind I typed in the ugliest thing I could think of (Sarah Jessica Parker) and proved that there is such a thing as destiny and I can proudly tell you I would have sex with #8 because she's famous.

-TNR3