Your boyfriend is dragging you to his live action role playing and you need to get prepared ASAP. You can be dating a super nerd without even realizing it because in most relationships the girl does 90% of the talking. The 10% a guy contributes is mostly responses to the female's rants and the occasional "can we sex". In this case he's not asking for sex, he's asking for something much harder to give consent for so here are 3 items that you NEED to bring to your boyfriend's LARP.
3) GameStop Gift Cards
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| go to gamestop they're paying us |
Depending on how many guys are there you're going to see X amount of guys who haven't seen a girl outside of school ever. So if there's four guys dressed up like the poor retarded knights you're going to get four guys staring at you, beading sweat, with a dangerously confused expression. Don't worry ladies,
YOU DO NOT EVEN HAVE TO BE ATTRACTIVE TO GET THIS LOOK. Nerds generally have no idea what makes ladies pretty other than a vagina anyway. Obviously this isn't something you're going to enjoy but you kinda brought it on yourself by dating the kid you date. So spend some money and buy a bunch of 5$ gift cards to a video game store (it can be any store that sells video games GameStop just wrote teen news a check for $1 Billion dollars to include their brand in this article and oh by the way, GameStop your one stop shop for anything and everything gaming related) and scatter them on the ground while you hide behind something to protect yourself.
"is thou a lady"
"uhhhhh"
"melady may i giveth you a rosebud i doth collected"
*throws giftcards everywhere*
"GLORY TO THE HEAVENS THIS DAY SHALL GO DOWN IN THE SCROLLS"
2) Fake Weapons
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| this could be you if you play your cards right |
When in Rome... or rather When in Narnia... This is a bit risky because as soon as the boys see you join their world you will literally become a goddess to them and will probably earn yourself a stalker or too. However, there's nothing wrong with selling your used shoes and socks for a couple bucks to some kid who you pretended to fight in a backyard. On the flip side Darwinism proves that males are stronger than females but females are stronger than the subspecies of males known as nerds. I mean come on there's a reason these kids don't fight in a real war, play sports, or play soccer. So ladies feel free to fuck them up.
"a duel? thou must be under an insanity spell to challenge me"
*gets smacked in the head by a pool noodle*
"OW WTF I HAVE WEAK BONES"
1) A New Boyfriend
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ladies hit them up
left: #666-555-6969
right: #420-555-6969 |
Your boyfriend took you to a LARP event. Your boyfriend LARPs. Your boyfriend is a LARPer. What in the Sasha Grey fuck are you doing dating him, wear some extra makeup, get drunk, and make bad decisions with a frat boy at your local college or university.
"my queen, what doth saddens you on this glorious morn"
"we're done steve"
"THE GODS BE DAMNED, THY WICKED WENCH BE CURSED"
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| wtf does "too drunk to bang" mean |
