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PUBERTY: 16 y/o feels confident with his newly grown facial hair "one packet of cigarettes please" no "okay!" *moonwalks out of 7/11*                   FUN: teens prepare for Halloween "okay. i'm mario, jeff's luigi, mark's wario, and steve.. ur waluigi" why am i waluigi? "BC NO ONE LIKES U"                   PUTT PUTT: teen has trouble on his first date w/ female "she beat me in mini golf" that's rough, what did you do? "i left her there" nice                   MODERN WARFARE: Teen decides to enlist for military after raising his kill/death ratio to 1.5 in Call of Duty "i'm ready for anything now"                   HIGH TIMES: teens smoke weed after school "dude... sinks are like showers but for your hands" *passes joint* ..bro that's fucking adorable                   NICE: teens prepare for finals "i took like 120 mg's of adderall" "i didn't even study. i just organized my itunes library for 6 hours"                   SO CLOSE: teen blows it at the last minute "ready for sex girl?" oh yea! *sound of velcro shoes coming off* *pussy becomes drier than paper*                   BUD: teen regrets getting high on marijuana before school "why are your eyes red?" "umm, i was riding my bike with the windows open" "what?"                   iOSHEAVEN: Teens marvel in Apple's latest conquest "iOS 7 is better than being alive" "now i can die happy" "i feel steve jobs inside me"                   FASHION: as camouflage becomes more fashionable, teens become harder and harder to spot "shit where did Tim go?" "lol i'm right here dude!"                   SUPER SMASH BROTHAS: teen claims Nintendo is racist "there's no black people in super smash" well, there IS donkey ko- *gets ass beat hard*                   BRAWL: teen loses fight to local bully "i don't get it. i watched the whole 1st season of dragon ball z" "i should have destroyed him"                   PROGRESSIVE: teens talk car insurance "would you bang Flo?" "i'd let her suck my dick" "i'd be down for a-" *lowers shades* "flojob" *high5*                   MAIL: teen writes love letter to gf babe, ilu more then weed. well, u nd weed r prolly bout equal bc i luv weed alot but still love, steve                   SUPER SMASH BROTHAS: teen claims Nintendo is racist "there's no black people in super smash" well, there IS donkey ko- *gets ass beat hard*                   RAP GAME: teen claims to have "2nd degree murdered" the track after rhyming "zimmerman" with "swimmer tan" however a florida jury disagreed                   ATTITUDE: teen fired from pizza joint for talking back over the phone "how much will a large pizza feed?" "one if ur a fuckin fatass"                   RAGER: dozens of teens flock to the local river after hearing reports that the water is "raging" "turn up!" *drowns in river*                   BUSTED: teens get pulled over on the highway "is there any marijuana in the vehicle?" "lol of course dude it's the HIGHway" "have fun kids"

BEST LIL WAYNE LINES: LYRICS


In a world full of Barack Obamas and Kendrick Lamars it’s easy to forget who the best rapper of all time is, so I’m here to remind you. It isn’t Shakesqueer, no no its not Gay$ap Rocky. IT’S FUCKING LIL WAYNE AKA LIL TUNECHI AKA WEEZY F. BABY. He's basically the lean sipping version of jesus, but fun fact…he isn't Jewish! Can’t get much better than that. So I compiled a list of the 13 most revolutionary lil wayne lines that have changed this world...enjoy

13. “Yea, I eat that pussy like the last supper” - Fuck Food

Wow, thank you so much Lil' Wayne.  I've always hated performing oral sex, and I've only done it to hopefully get a girl to return the favor.  But with this "stop and smell the vaginas" approach I'm gonna turn cunnilingus into funnilingus!

12. “She pop x I smoke o’s tic tac toe” - Rolling In The Deep [Remix]

I feel like Tunechi knows me! Tic Tac Toe is a great way to break the ice with bitches.  Now I can slip her some molly and smoke out of my sweet new bong while she grinds all up on me...how do I get molly?

11. “You tell that bitch give me my space like a telescope” - Still Got The Rock 

Thanks to this great advice from the YMCMB leader I now have the confidence to kick girls out of my bed after I'm done with them.  Because there's definitely girls that end up in my bed.  I swear I'm totally not a virgin!

10. “That shit so good it don’t smell bad” - Wasted

So much swag in just one line. Through some extraordinary science Lil Wayne (being the genius he is) has figured out a way to make his poop smell so good that it doesn’t smell like shit! If only I could figure this out then maybe I could get laid.

9.  “We don’t feel none of you n*ggas, Y'all some fuckin porcupines” - Way I'm Ballin

I would never touch a porcupine.  I guess that means I shouldn't try to resolve problems with people I have beef with either.  Who needs friends, who needs porcupines, who needs anything besides Lil Wayne's music, honestly.

8.  “Life is a beach im just playing in the sand” - Right Above It

WOAH! So much imagery! Lil' Wayne is such a great philosopher.  Like, this is so deep.  I'm going to enjoy life as much as I can now and totally YOLO.  Can somebody pass me a piece to smoke marijuana out of and a weezy baby sticker to place upon it?

7.  “Hair to fucking back call that shit Rosa Parks” - Inkredible 
Long hair don't care, am I right?  As a black historian expert I feel relieved to know that I am more cultured after listening to this Weezy line.  And you know what you can do when you're more cultured? Tell as many people about it as possible is what.

6.  “Real G’s move in silence like lasagna” - 6'7

If this isn’t genius that I don’t even know what that word means. Here weezy is letting us know that when spelling lasagna the “g” is silent but at the same time he’s educating us about the wonderful world of lasagna! It’s basically a tomato-vegtable filled with cheese a.k.a. nutritious heaven!

5.  “Make a movie with your bitch, steven spieln*gga” - Bandz A Make Her Dance (remix) 

Holy fucking swag. Steven spielberg single handedly invented star wars but in just one line lil wayne explains that he’s gonna make a sexual video with a girl that’s AS GOOD AS STAR WARS. WHICH IS REAL FUCKING GOOD IF YOU ASK ME!

4.  “New Orleans n*gga we get super dome” - Wasted

Good lord the vivid imagery right here. If you didn’t know when a girl is sucking on your penis it’s known as dome, and in New Orleans there’s a stadium called the superdome. SO BASICALLY WEEZY GETS THE MOST ALPHA DOME OF ALL TIME.

3.  “I cant trust my iphone, I think siri the feds” - Still Got The Rock 

*smashes iPhone 4S*

2.  “That shit nasty, pork rines” - Single

Ughhhh, I just nutted my pants with this one. My god. You know those things fat old white people eat, pork rines? Well they’re icky and Wayne aint having none of that, so he lets us know that in the most poetically eloquent way!!

1.  “R.I.P. Rest in pussy” - Rich as Fuck

When people die on their gravestones it says “R.I.P” and in school they taught us it meant “Rest. In Peace” but weezy just drops KNOWLEDGE HERE and lets us know the real meaning behind this RIP acronym…Rest in Pussy, which makes sense because why would you wanna die unless you’d be swimming amongst hordes of vagina in the afterlife??