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YOU GIVE BUD A BAD NAME: teen gets creative "i named my piece Bong Jovi" dude that's sick *rips bong so dang hard* "WE'RE HALFWAY THEREEE OH                   SHY: teen refuses to get naked in front of her bf b/c she's "too fat" sources indicate bf "doesn't care" & "just wants to see some titties"                   GRADES: teen girl prays she doesn't fail her history test "anything but an F, my parents will kill me!" boys reply "i guess she wants the D"                   POT: teen claims to be experiencing marijuana withdrawal "the room...it's so cold" bro u smoked for the first time yesterday "U DONT KNO ME"                   JOURNALISM: Teen girl claimed she was "literally dying" after reading a text from her friend. Sources indicate she is in fact, not dying.                   GAMER: teens play Metroid Prime "did you know Samus is a chick?" *turns off gamecube* "no" *breaks disk in half* "no i did not"                   STONED: teen in hospital after "the biggest bong hit of all time" he claims he "ripped that shit like Michael Phelps" and he's "still baked"                   FADEAD: teens try drugs for the first time "dude i smoked like eleven beers" one teen claims "i drank like 2 weeds and drove" one teen dead                   GAME: teen joins a sports team in hopes of getting girls "sup ladies, i'm the quarterman for our school's hoopball squad" *has infinity sex*                   BREAKING: local mother arrested for throwing out her son's Pokemon cards. Among the cards was a holographic Mewtwo. She faces up to 20 years                   You can support the site by clicking an ad if it is relevant to your interests!                   EMPLOYMENT: teen girls fills out job application "should i put down that i was twerk team captain?" "fuck yea i should"                   SOLAR SHOUTOUT: teens study for astronomy "earth is a planet, whats the sun?" "its our world's star" "WORLDSTAR?" "WORLDSTAR" *they go nuts*                   CIGS: teen takes up smoking to appear cooler to his peers "have you taken up smoking?" "yes, i have" "you appear cooler to me now"                   You can support the site by clicking an ad if it is relevant to your interests!                   BEEFIN: 7th grader claims to "have beef" w/ his mother after she forgot to pack Zebra Cakes in his lunchbox "bitch knows i need my z cakes"                   BUSTED: a shirtless teen was seen smoking a cigarette while riding a longboard. Police arrested him for being "too cool" in a school zone                   DATING: teen breaks up with girlfriend "it's just not- *curls dumbbell* WORKING OUT for me" that's funny "i kno rite. but still we're thru"                   UNDERCOVER: mysterious teen tries to disuade his peers "maybe we should wait until we're 21 to drink" *moustache falls off* "WTF DAD"

BEST LIL WAYNE LINES: LYRICS


In a world full of Barack Obamas and Kendrick Lamars it’s easy to forget who the best rapper of all time is, so I’m here to remind you. It isn’t Shakesqueer, no no its not Gay$ap Rocky. IT’S FUCKING LIL WAYNE AKA LIL TUNECHI AKA WEEZY F. BABY. He's basically the lean sipping version of jesus, but fun fact…he isn't Jewish! Can’t get much better than that. So I compiled a list of the 13 most revolutionary lil wayne lines that have changed this world...enjoy

13. “Yea, I eat that pussy like the last supper” - Fuck Food

Wow, thank you so much Lil' Wayne.  I've always hated performing oral sex, and I've only done it to hopefully get a girl to return the favor.  But with this "stop and smell the vaginas" approach I'm gonna turn cunnilingus into funnilingus!

12. “She pop x I smoke o’s tic tac toe” - Rolling In The Deep [Remix]

I feel like Tunechi knows me! Tic Tac Toe is a great way to break the ice with bitches.  Now I can slip her some molly and smoke out of my sweet new bong while she grinds all up on me...how do I get molly?

11. “You tell that bitch give me my space like a telescope” - Still Got The Rock 

Thanks to this great advice from the YMCMB leader I now have the confidence to kick girls out of my bed after I'm done with them.  Because there's definitely girls that end up in my bed.  I swear I'm totally not a virgin!

10. “That shit so good it don’t smell bad” - Wasted

So much swag in just one line. Through some extraordinary science Lil Wayne (being the genius he is) has figured out a way to make his poop smell so good that it doesn’t smell like shit! If only I could figure this out then maybe I could get laid.

9.  “We don’t feel none of you n*ggas, Y'all some fuckin porcupines” - Way I'm Ballin

I would never touch a porcupine.  I guess that means I shouldn't try to resolve problems with people I have beef with either.  Who needs friends, who needs porcupines, who needs anything besides Lil Wayne's music, honestly.

8.  “Life is a beach im just playing in the sand” - Right Above It

WOAH! So much imagery! Lil' Wayne is such a great philosopher.  Like, this is so deep.  I'm going to enjoy life as much as I can now and totally YOLO.  Can somebody pass me a piece to smoke marijuana out of and a weezy baby sticker to place upon it?

7.  “Hair to fucking back call that shit Rosa Parks” - Inkredible 
Long hair don't care, am I right?  As a black historian expert I feel relieved to know that I am more cultured after listening to this Weezy line.  And you know what you can do when you're more cultured? Tell as many people about it as possible is what.

6.  “Real G’s move in silence like lasagna” - 6'7

If this isn’t genius that I don’t even know what that word means. Here weezy is letting us know that when spelling lasagna the “g” is silent but at the same time he’s educating us about the wonderful world of lasagna! It’s basically a tomato-vegtable filled with cheese a.k.a. nutritious heaven!

5.  “Make a movie with your bitch, steven spieln*gga” - Bandz A Make Her Dance (remix) 

Holy fucking swag. Steven spielberg single handedly invented star wars but in just one line lil wayne explains that he’s gonna make a sexual video with a girl that’s AS GOOD AS STAR WARS. WHICH IS REAL FUCKING GOOD IF YOU ASK ME!

4.  “New Orleans n*gga we get super dome” - Wasted

Good lord the vivid imagery right here. If you didn’t know when a girl is sucking on your penis it’s known as dome, and in New Orleans there’s a stadium called the superdome. SO BASICALLY WEEZY GETS THE MOST ALPHA DOME OF ALL TIME.

3.  “I cant trust my iphone, I think siri the feds” - Still Got The Rock 

*smashes iPhone 4S*

2.  “That shit nasty, pork rines” - Single

Ughhhh, I just nutted my pants with this one. My god. You know those things fat old white people eat, pork rines? Well they’re icky and Wayne aint having none of that, so he lets us know that in the most poetically eloquent way!!

1.  “R.I.P. Rest in pussy” - Rich as Fuck

When people die on their gravestones it says “R.I.P” and in school they taught us it meant “Rest. In Peace” but weezy just drops KNOWLEDGE HERE and lets us know the real meaning behind this RIP acronym…Rest in Pussy, which makes sense because why would you wanna die unless you’d be swimming amongst hordes of vagina in the afterlife??