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WHY: teens can't understand their failures with women "i wore my best fedora!" did you show her ur beyblades? "no i forgot" rookie mistake                   CHECK UP: teen vists doctor "so are you sexually active?" no "any drugs or alcohol?" nope "i see. well my prognosis is you're a fuckin nerd"                   RAGE: teen plays Pokemon Gold *at pokecenter* *rapidly clicking A* *accidentally clicks A too much and the nurse starts talking again* NOOOO                   JOB: teen gets interviewed "why should we hire you?" "i have 1000 followers on twitter" "how many do you follow?" "...1200" "GET OUTTA HERE"                   SUPER SMASH BROTHAS: teen claims Nintendo is racist "there's no black people in super smash" well, there IS donkey ko- *gets ass beat hard*                   TRAGIC: teen reportedly "never seen again" after entering a Hot Topic "we begged him not to enter that store" "he belongs to the mall now"                   WONDERWALL: : teen learns guitar to pick up girls *strums a single G chord* "i'm gunna get so fucking laid"                   KILLER KUSH: teens get high "bro i think i'm dead" "ur just freaking out" "i'm srs" *turns into ghost* "damn, that kush was dank" *hi fives*                   POLNO: Frat teen asks bros if a "black polo and flops" is an alright outfit for his grandmas funeral "dude u gotta at least wear sperrys"                   GRADES: Student receives an "F" on powerpoint presentation for using too many laser sounds in transitions "that sound effect is gangster af"                   BUD: teen regrets getting high on marijuana before school "why are your eyes red?" "umm, i was riding my bike with the windows open" "what?"                   STRUDEL'D: Teens get physical after toaster strudel incident "BRO DID YOU USE TWO PACKETS OF ICING" "yea?" "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE"                   BREAKING: local mother arrested for throwing out her son's Pokemon cards. Among the cards was a holographic Mewtwo. She faces up to 20 years                   YUNG LOVE: teen receives a text from his gf "i miss u" "i literally just left your house" "k" *throws phone at wall*                   BUD: teen regrets getting high on marijuana before school "why are your eyes red?" "umm, i was riding my bike with the windows open" "what?"                   TEEN TALK: "is the double condom method more effective?" "a condom inside a condom? that's like inception dude" "...more like CONTRACEPTION"                   TEEN TALK: "is the double condom method more effective?" "a condom inside a condom? that's like inception dude" "...more like CONTRACEPTION"                   BALLING: Teen takes girlfriend out to dinner "ight babe were gonna split the 60 pc nugget" "a milkshake? idk babe maybe next time"                   FUN: college teens live it up "i thought tonight we'd go classy, so i bought the $18 vodka instead of the $12 one" "WE'LL DRINK LIKE KINGS"

BEST BONG: ENGINEERING BREAKTHROUGH

 A group of teenage friends rejoice as one of them claims to have made “the world’s most illin’ bong”
“yo this piece is tight af homie”
i kno right. wanna blaze?
“shit i aint got no bud"
damn me neither

don't act like this nug
aint makin you horny
Sources indicate the “water pipe” is constructed out of high grade, polyethylene terephthalate plastic, and is shaped to perfection with various groves and ridges designed to guarantee the smoothest hits of cannabis tobacco smoke
*takes one rip of bong*
*coughs up smoke and doesn't inhale at all*
“damn i’m high af”

the engineering intricacies that
went into this bong's construction
can boggle the mind
Further investigation revealed the engineer who designed the bong also used custom pieces to construct the slider and bowl. Using a top of the line Bic pen and a titanium ratchet piece from his dad’s garage, the slider and bowl fit perfectly into the bottle shaped base with just a little bit of duct tape
*creates smoking device out of recyclable materials*
*becomes unusable after about a week*
“damn i bet if i sold these things i’d be hella rich”

the bong in action. just look at
that fine craftsmanship
Teen news sat down with the teenage engineering prodigy (who preferred to remain anonymous because his mom is like, really strict)

teen news: so tell us about your recent invention

teen: well it all started when me and my boy ricky was smokin n shit. we didn’t have a piece and ricky was tryna smoke nug through his nostril. i was like ricky, don’t be a clown. that’s when i… ummmmm

teen news: that’s when you constructed the bong?

teen: hell yeah son!! shit was wicked. yanno, i grabbed a gatorade bottle, DRANK THAT SHIT, then just popped all the pieces together. filled that shit up with water and yanno, IT FUCKIN RIPPED HOMIE

teen news: sounds fun

teen: damn straight. afterwards we drank the bong water. shit tasted like fierce grape. DEE-LISH

teen news: you drank the bong water?

teen: of course man! shit gets you  F A D E D

teen news: if you say so. well, thank you for your time. we really appreciate it

teen: no problemo. hit me up if you want one of my homemade bongs. only 50 bucks!

teen news: we’ll pass

teen: whatever hater
*rips bong*
*smells like burning plastic*
*coughs for 10 minutes*