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VIOLENT: teen in critical condition after being assaulted during a game of Mario Party "i told that piece of shit not to steal my star"                   BRAWL: teen loses fight to local bully "i don't get it. i watched the whole 1st season of dragon ball z" "i should have destroyed him"                   CENSORED: 10th grade teen refuses to say "the n word" during a class reading of To Kill A Mockingbird "there were black kids in that class"                   FLIRT: teens interact sexually "is that an iPhone in your pants or are you just happy to see me?" "it's a Samsung Galaxy you stupid bitch"                   ROCK: 13 year old considers Creed to be "classic rock" "hey dad, let's spark a doobie and listen to creed" "son, just stop"                   PUTT PUTT: teen has trouble on his first date w/ female "she beat me in mini golf" that's rough, what did you do? "i left her there" nice                   :'(: Girl found passed out after what friends call a 'white girl rampage' "becky was wayyy out of control" "she had likee 11 mochafrapss!!"                   GRADES: teen girl prays she doesn't fail her history test "anything but an F, my parents will kill me!" boys reply "i guess she wants the D"                   UNEMPLOYED: teen fills out a job application HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A FELONY? Yes. IF YES, EXPLAIN. I murder every beat I rap on.                   DISSED: teen engages in a rap battle "dude ur raps are toilet/if i pooped in ur mouth you'd prolly enjoy it" *entire school krumps to death*                   ORATORY SKILLS: teen uses a classic tactic of rhetoric in a debate with his peer "you're gay" "no, YOU'RE gay" *teen stands in shock*                   DUNKIN BRONUTS: teens get coffee "why iced coffee bro" "i like my coffee like i like my bros...chill AS FUCK" *chugs coffee while bro5ing*                   RIPPED: teens claim to have smoked that celebrity kush "i'm emma stoned" "i'm baked shelton" "i can't think of one...but i'm high af"                   MEMORIAL DAY: teen remembers the players that died in a Call of Duty team deathmatch "R.I.P. EternalVirgin, bonglover69, and BROBROBRO1"                   ORATORY SKILLS: teen uses a classic tactic of rhetoric in a debate with his peer "you're gay" "no, YOU'RE gay" *teen stands in shock*                   WHIP GAME: teens hit the go kart track "mushrooms and racing was a great idea" "i feel like mario" "haha steve is just staring at the wheel"                   HIGH: teens smoke while their parents are out "WAIT get the dog outta here. he'll tell my mom" *stares at dog for 30 seconds* "you're right"                   GTA: teen love gaming! "wait guys, don't you think this game is a little offensive to women?" *silence* "LOL JK" *kills another hooker*                   GRADES: Student receives an "F" on powerpoint presentation for using too many laser sounds in transitions "that sound effect is gangster af"

MISSING LOCAL TEEN: CURIOUS CASE OF FRED CHUBB

19 year old Fred Chubb recently decided to make a twitter account which currently marks the last time he's been seen in any form since he's been reported missing.

A friend of Chubb's commented on the teen's appreciation for marijuana.
"He smoked hella blunts."
"I've seen him ripped harder than a beyblade."

 Is the weed laced with another drug? Is Fred in danger? Maybe that "sticky icky" is just more dangerous than the government leads you to believe.  A lot of people in today's society feel as though smoking pot is a victimless crime, even president Barack Obama has weighed in.
"Weed is chill and as the commander and...quit chiefin the blunt Biden."

Something changed over the short course of two minutes to cause this dramatic shift in character.  A panel of experts consulted from trippyshit.com said there was approximately a "20 to 90% chance" that Fred was legitimately under the influence of a hallucinogenic and not just marijuana.
"We legitimately have no idea, we just get high and post trippy shit on our website."

 Here it is, the last thing this missing teen ever "said".  Local authorities released a statement.
"We don't have much faith that Mr. Chubb is still alive, but if he's out there-"
*takes a bite of a doughnut*
"We'll do our absolute best to find him and punish him to the fullest extent of the law for violating the great state of north dakota's illegal substance policy."

If you have ANY relevant information on the disappearance of 19 year old Fred Chubb please send it to the teen news tipline at teennews69@gmail.com so that we can give it to the proper authorities.