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FUN: teen boys go to their first college party together "we're gunna pick up so many bitches" Reports indicate they "picked up no bitches"                   SENSUAL: teen sets up for a perfect date "candle lit dinner, bottle of red wine, and a copy of spy kids on blu ray" *gets 100 blowjobs*                   HOT: teens love sexting! 9:14 - i wanna sex u up 9:15 - wat u gna do 2 me? 9:15 - ima stick my penis in ur *goes on wikipedia* 9:24 - labia                   STRUDEL'D: Teens get physical after toaster strudel incident "BRO DID YOU USE TWO PACKETS OF ICING" "yea?" "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE"                   WAKE & BAKE: teen wakes up early to prepare for his school's bake sale "this has absolutely nothing to do with weed" "sorry to disappoint"                   POT: teen claims to be experiencing marijuana withdrawal "the room...it's so cold" bro u smoked for the first time yesterday "U DONT KNO ME"                   NO HOMO: local 6th grader claims he would "suck dick for some lunchables" He further stated that he doesn't know what "suck dick" means                   TEXTING: teens talk girls "dude she just texted me hey" ..so? "WITH TWO Y'S" *high fives so hard they break the fucking sound barrier*                   WHIP GAME: teens hit the go kart track "mushrooms and racing was a great idea" "i feel like mario" "haha steve is just staring at the wheel"                   SOLAR SHOUTOUT: teens study for astronomy "earth is a planet, whats the sun?" "its our world's star" "WORLDSTAR?" "WORLDSTAR" *they go nuts*                   PRUDE: teen admits he has never kissed a girl "dude how? you're 18" "cause i only kiss women...like YOUR MOM" "YOU GOT ME AGAIN BRO!" *bro5*                   SMOOTH: teen uses a classic pickup line "you like marijuana?" ummm, yeah! "marijuwanna suck my dick?" *gets laid so hard*                   WONDERWALL: : teen learns guitar to pick up girls *strums a single G chord* "i'm gunna get so fucking laid"                   TRAGEDY: local teen legitimately "dies from boredom" "he forgot to bring his iphone with him in the bathroom" "sad day for teens everywhere"                   PRUDE: teen admits he has never kissed a girl "dude how? you're 18" "cause i only kiss women...like YOUR MOM" "YOU GOT ME AGAIN BRO!" *bro5*                   TRIPPY: teens drop acid for the first time "grasshoppers are the dubstep of nature" "holy shit bro that's so deep" "i'm a young socrates"                   RAGER: dozens of teens flock to the local river after hearing reports that the water is "raging" "turn up!" *drowns in river*                   ICEBREAKER: teen screws up a classic pick-up line "so babe you ever weigh a polar bear" "what?" *breaks ice on girl's head* "wanna make out"                   BUSTED: teens get pulled over on the highway "is there any marijuana in the vehicle?" "lol of course dude it's the HIGHway" "have fun kids"

MISSING LOCAL TEEN: CURIOUS CASE OF FRED CHUBB

19 year old Fred Chubb recently decided to make a twitter account which currently marks the last time he's been seen in any form since he's been reported missing.

A friend of Chubb's commented on the teen's appreciation for marijuana.
"He smoked hella blunts."
"I've seen him ripped harder than a beyblade."

 Is the weed laced with another drug? Is Fred in danger? Maybe that "sticky icky" is just more dangerous than the government leads you to believe.  A lot of people in today's society feel as though smoking pot is a victimless crime, even president Barack Obama has weighed in.
"Weed is chill and as the commander and...quit chiefin the blunt Biden."

Something changed over the short course of two minutes to cause this dramatic shift in character.  A panel of experts consulted from trippyshit.com said there was approximately a "20 to 90% chance" that Fred was legitimately under the influence of a hallucinogenic and not just marijuana.
"We legitimately have no idea, we just get high and post trippy shit on our website."

 Here it is, the last thing this missing teen ever "said".  Local authorities released a statement.
"We don't have much faith that Mr. Chubb is still alive, but if he's out there-"
*takes a bite of a doughnut*
"We'll do our absolute best to find him and punish him to the fullest extent of the law for violating the great state of north dakota's illegal substance policy."

If you have ANY relevant information on the disappearance of 19 year old Fred Chubb please send it to the teen news tipline at teennews69@gmail.com so that we can give it to the proper authorities.