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GAMECUBE: teens gear up for Super Smash Brothers Melee "i'm green falco" "i'm normal falco" "i'm red falco" "i'm ice climbers" "...fag"                   420: teens smoke after school "dude, do you ever think like, what if you were a chick? like what if- "WHAT IF YOU PASSED THE FUCKING BLUNT?"                   RADICAL: "hip dad" interacts with teenage children "sup kids? you guys feeling YOLO today?" dad no "this dinner sure is MAJOR SWAG" DAD WHY                   SURVEY: 7 out of 10 teens agree that 3 out of 10 teens are "lame af" and "will not be sitting at our lunch table this year"                   TRAGEDY: local teen legitimately "dies from boredom" "he forgot to bring his iphone with him in the bathroom" "sad day for teens everywhere"                   IDIOT: Teen throws big party but forgets one key element "dude i forgot music" "just use ur laptop" "i only have greenday" "mother of god"                   ICEBREAKER: teen screws up a classic pick-up line "so babe you ever weigh a polar bear" "what?" *breaks ice on girl's head* "wanna make out"                   UNEMPLOYED: teen fills out a job application HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A FELONY? Yes. IF YES, EXPLAIN. I murder every beat I rap on.                   OUCH: Teen sent to office after being wrongly accused of texting in class "jeez i was just staring at my dick" "no one texts me anyway"                   PISSED: teen gets fed up with teacher "can i use the bathroom?" "i don't know, CAN you?" *takes deep breath* *pisses all over teachers desk*                   GAME: teen joins a sports team in hopes of getting girls "sup ladies, i'm the quarterman for our school's hoopball squad" *has infinity sex*                   FUNDONT: Teen hospitalized after tragic fondue accident "i thought the bitches would want this warm cheesy dick" "they didnt"                   SWAGGER: teen gets ready for saturday night yeah this snapback yolo combo will for sure get me laid *chugs diet pepsi* TURN DOWN FOR WHAT?                   OUCH: Teen 'eats shit' while attempting to longboard to class "ive been practicing all summer!" "fuck i ripped my favorite plaid shorts"                   GAME: teen joins a sports team in hopes of getting girls "sup ladies, i'm the quarterman for our school's hoopball squad" *has infinity sex*                   BALLING: Teen takes girlfriend out to dinner "ight babe were gonna split the 60 pc nugget" "a milkshake? idk babe maybe next time"                   BADASS: teen smokes for first time "yeah i found this blunt in my moms ash tray" *lights cig* *coughs* "that good kush and alcohol son!"                   WHITE GIRL: teen asked what 5 things she would bring to a deserted island 1. uggs 2. iPhone 3. iPhone charger 4. starbucks giftcard 5. my bf                   WAKE & BAKE: teen wakes up early to prepare for his school's bake sale "this has absolutely nothing to do with weed" "sorry to disappoint"

TEEN PROPOSES BAN ON SPAGHETTI EATING CONTESTS

In a remarkable twist of events, 16-year-old prodigy Ethan Anderson has taken the world of law and politics by storm with his outlandish proposal to ban spaghetti eating contests. In a press conference held at his high school cafeteria, Ethan passionately argued that these competitions posed a grave threat to public safety and were a cause for concern regarding the potential hazards of slurping noodles.

spaghetti eating

With a colorful slideshow and an eloquent speech, Ethan meticulously detailed the various dangers associated with spaghetti eating contests. His concerns ranged from the risks of choking to the potential for sauce-induced slippage resulting in catastrophic spills. He even cited statistics of an alarming increase in tomato sauce stains on teenage clothing, urging lawmakers to take immediate action.

Ethan's proposal, aptly named the "Pasta Peril Prevention Act," suggests a comprehensive ban on any organized events that involve competitive consumption of spaghetti. The act further specifies penalties for offenders, including mandatory pasta sensitivity training and community service at local Italian restaurants.

The announcement of Ethan's proposed legislation ignited a fierce debate within the teen community. Supporters argue that it's high time we prioritize safety over spaghetti consumption, while opponents claim that this measure infringes upon personal freedoms and undermines the spirit of gastronomic adventure.

Celebrities have also voiced their opinions on the matter. Renowned chef and TV personality, Chef Luigi, expressed his outrage, declaring that such a ban would "stifle culinary creativity and diminish the artistry of twirling pasta." On the other hand, health-conscious teen influencer, FitFreak17, hailed Ethan's initiative as a step towards encouraging healthier eating habits among teenagers.

The proposed ban has even gained international attention, with foreign dignitaries and pasta enthusiasts from around the globe expressing their disbelief and curiosity. Some countries, such as Italy, have offered to send their most skilled pasta eaters to demonstrate their impeccable technique, hoping to convince lawmakers that spaghetti consumption can be safe and enjoyable.

In response to the growing discourse, lawmakers have formed a special committee to evaluate the merits of Ethan's proposal. The committee will convene public hearings where experts, including professional eaters, nutritionists, and orthodontists, will present their views on the potential dangers of spaghetti eating contests.

While the outcome of this peculiar legislative battle remains uncertain, one thing is for sure: Ethan Anderson has become the face of teenage activism, inspiring a new wave of young individuals to challenge the status quo and advocate for their beliefs, no matter how peculiar or pasta-related they may be.

As the debate unfolds, we eagerly await the final verdict on whether spaghetti eating contests will become a thing of the past or if teens will continue to revel in the joyous chaos of noodle slurping competitions. Stay tuned as we keep you updated on the saucy twists and turns of this unlikely legal battle!