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POPPIN: local teen overdoses on swagger "once he popped his fourth collar his neck couldn't take the pressure and just snapped" "RIP chad"                   MIA: "mom i lost my swag!" "where did you last YOLO?" "i already checked my snapback collection!" "well i'm sure it'll TURN UP"                   YUMMY: teen "hecka ticked off" after mother packs him "oatmeal raisin granola bars" for lunch "BITCH KNOWS I ONLY FUCKS WIT CHOCOLATE CHIP"                   IRL: teen forgets he's not playing GTA V *goes sixty mph on the highway* *jumps out of car* *gets up and walks away*                   CHIVALRY: teen cooks a romantic dinner for his girlfriend "are you enjoying your ham and cheese hot pocket babe?" "no. not at all."                   IDIOT: Teen throws big party but forgets one key element "dude i forgot music" "just use ur laptop" "i only have greenday" "mother of god"                   BETTER LUCK NEXT RHYME: teen loses a rap battle "spark the blunt with my bic, yea boy i'll suck your dick" "WAIT NO HOMO" "stfu juicy gay"                   RIPPED: teens claim to have smoked that celebrity kush "i'm emma stoned" "i'm baked shelton" "i can't think of one...but i'm high af"                   DUNKIN BRONUTS: teens get coffee "why iced coffee bro" "i like my coffee like i like my bros...chill AS FUCK" *chugs coffee while bro5ing*                   WOAH: teen makes friends at new school "sup guys, my name's chad and i think beer is cool" *gets invited to every party in a 20 mile radius*                   SO CLOSE: teen blows it at the last minute "ready for sex girl?" oh yea! *sound of velcro shoes coming off* *pussy becomes drier than paper*                   RIPPED: teens claim to have smoked that celebrity kush "i'm emma stoned" "i'm baked shelton" "i can't think of one...but i'm high af"                   BETTER LUCK NEXT RHYME: teen loses a rap battle "spark the blunt with my bic, yea boy i'll suck your dick" "WAIT NO HOMO" "stfu juicy gay"                   FUN: teen boys go to their first college party together "we're gunna pick up so many bitches" Reports indicate they "picked up no bitches"                   SO CLOSE: teen blows it at the last minute "ready for sex girl?" oh yea! *sound of velcro shoes coming off* *pussy becomes drier than paper*                   RAGE: teen plays Pokemon Gold *at pokecenter* *rapidly clicking A* *accidentally clicks A too much and the nurse starts talking again* NOOOO                   WHY: teens can't understand their failures with women "i wore my best fedora!" did you show her ur beyblades? "no i forgot" rookie mistake                   FUN: college teens live it up "i thought tonight we'd go classy, so i bought the $18 vodka instead of the $12 one" "WE'LL DRINK LIKE KINGS"                   SCIENTIFIC: teen "experiments" with homosexuality *analyzes litmus paper* "just as i hypothesized.." *writes down data* "i'm gay"

5 WORST THINGS ABOUT GOING BACK TO SCHOOL


Such bullshit that bears can just hibernate through the winter. I wish I was a bear. Bitchiz love bears. Here are the 5 worst aspects of going back to school.

Not being able to watch porn with the volume cranked.


Unless BOTH your parents are teachers, it's likely that your parents work during your break. You are given the glorious privacy and freedom to jerk it. When school starts you only have a good hour to watch porn without anyone in the house, and that's only if only one of your parents work. Headphones are chill, but aren’t as epic and majestic as the sound of your porn echoing and hugging the acoustics of your house.

Patronizing textbook chapters.

The first chapter of any textbook induces crippling ADHD that makes me think about gnawing my ankles. I just read a chapter called Chapter 0. I can literally feel the teacher applying the lube on which anus she shall be fisting in two months.

Waking up before the sun rises.

During any break I behave like a savage. On New Year's Eve I ate fried chicken naked in my sheets with my girl. The sheets got mad greasy from so much meat, and yeah the chicken left a mess too (; The abrupt disturbance in your sleeping cycle is unhealthy. And then then a few months into the year, when you finally acclimate to a healthy sleeping habit, "they" TAKE AN HOUR. They just take it and you have to wake up an hour earlier than you have been for half of the year. You go to class before the sun rises and get out as it sets.

Unresolved Conflicts.

Most family's don't actually travel but still consider this break vacation because it is an escape from their lives. It's best to make any major decisions BEFORE going on vacation. Always breakup with your gf/bf before the holidays.

Seeing people.

Same people same shit. I only have 3 people I really consider to be my friend but hey, I'll take 4 quarters over 100 Pennies any day. Most people are just terrible.