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DIESEL: teen gets pulled over "officer, i know i was speeding i was just really mad" *officer lowers shades* "so you were FAST and FURIOUS?"                   ROMANCE: teens go on a date to see Monsters University *girl tries to make out with guy* "BITCH SWERVE I'M TRYNA RELIVE MY CHILDHOOD"                   ROCK: 13 year old considers Creed to be "classic rock" "hey dad, let's spark a doobie and listen to creed" "son, just stop"                   SCHOOL: "ms. jones is def in the illuminati dude. she's always talkin about triangles" "she's a geometry teacher" "...the fuck's geometry?"                   WAKE & BAKE: teen wakes up early to prepare for his school's bake sale "this has absolutely nothing to do with weed" "sorry to disappoint"                   SCIENCE PROJECT: "as you can see, the air flows through the water bec-" THIS IS A BONG "it's called a water pipe" GET OUT OF MY CLASSROOM                   BAD HAIR DAY: Teen girl decides to leave school after realizing her hair is "disgusting" an eyewitness stated "i'd still fuck her"                   DUNKIN BRONUTS: teens get coffee "why iced coffee bro" "i like my coffee like i like my bros...chill AS FUCK" *chugs coffee while bro5ing*                   SCIENTIFIC: studies indicate that 3 out of every 4 teens smoke marijuana. Coincidentally, scientists also found that 1 in 4 teens are nerds                   GAMER: teens play Metroid Prime "did you know Samus is a chick?" *turns off gamecube* "no" *breaks disk in half* "no i did not"                   POPPIN: local teen overdoses on swagger "once he popped his fourth collar his neck couldn't take the pressure and just snapped" "RIP chad"                   SUPER SMASH BROTHAS: teen claims Nintendo is racist "there's no black people in super smash" well, there IS donkey ko- *gets ass beat hard*                   YUMMY: teen "hecka ticked off" after mother packs him "oatmeal raisin granola bars" for lunch "BITCH KNOWS I ONLY FUCKS WIT CHOCOLATE CHIP"                   IDIOT: Teen throws big party but forgets one key element "dude i forgot music" "just use ur laptop" "i only have greenday" "mother of god"                   POPPIN: local teen overdoses on swagger "once he popped his fourth collar his neck couldn't take the pressure and just snapped" "RIP chad"                   420: teens smoke after school "dude, do you ever think like, what if you were a chick? like what if- "WHAT IF YOU PASSED THE FUCKING BLUNT?"                   KILLER KUSH: teens get high "bro i think i'm dead" "ur just freaking out" "i'm srs" *turns into ghost* "damn, that kush was dank" *hi fives*                   GAME: teen joins a sports team in hopes of getting girls "sup ladies, i'm the quarterman for our school's hoopball squad" *has infinity sex*                   MAIL: teen writes love letter to gf babe, ilu more then weed. well, u nd weed r prolly bout equal bc i luv weed alot but still love, steve

5 WORST THINGS ABOUT GOING BACK TO SCHOOL


Such bullshit that bears can just hibernate through the winter. I wish I was a bear. Bitchiz love bears. Here are the 5 worst aspects of going back to school.

Not being able to watch porn with the volume cranked.


Unless BOTH your parents are teachers, it's likely that your parents work during your break. You are given the glorious privacy and freedom to jerk it. When school starts you only have a good hour to watch porn without anyone in the house, and that's only if only one of your parents work. Headphones are chill, but aren’t as epic and majestic as the sound of your porn echoing and hugging the acoustics of your house.

Patronizing textbook chapters.

The first chapter of any textbook induces crippling ADHD that makes me think about gnawing my ankles. I just read a chapter called Chapter 0. I can literally feel the teacher applying the lube on which anus she shall be fisting in two months.

Waking up before the sun rises.

During any break I behave like a savage. On New Year's Eve I ate fried chicken naked in my sheets with my girl. The sheets got mad greasy from so much meat, and yeah the chicken left a mess too (; The abrupt disturbance in your sleeping cycle is unhealthy. And then then a few months into the year, when you finally acclimate to a healthy sleeping habit, "they" TAKE AN HOUR. They just take it and you have to wake up an hour earlier than you have been for half of the year. You go to class before the sun rises and get out as it sets.

Unresolved Conflicts.

Most family's don't actually travel but still consider this break vacation because it is an escape from their lives. It's best to make any major decisions BEFORE going on vacation. Always breakup with your gf/bf before the holidays.

Seeing people.

Same people same shit. I only have 3 people I really consider to be my friend but hey, I'll take 4 quarters over 100 Pennies any day. Most people are just terrible.