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ORATORY SKILLS: teen uses a classic tactic of rhetoric in a debate with his peer "you're gay" "no, YOU'RE gay" *teen stands in shock*                   LANDLOCKED: Nebraska teens think about the beach "what do you think the ocean is like?" "it's probably hella gay" "i don't even like salt"                   SOLAR SHOUTOUT: teens study for astronomy "earth is a planet, whats the sun?" "its our world's star" "WORLDSTAR?" "WORLDSTAR" *they go nuts*                   ONLY 90s KIDS: teen tries new pickup lines "damn girl you give me goosebumps cause you are R.L. Fine af" "turn to page 69 if you wanna bang"                   DISSED: teen engages in a rap battle "dude ur raps are toilet/if i pooped in ur mouth you'd prolly enjoy it" *entire school krumps to death*                   COLLEGE: teen takes Adderall to help his grades "i'm gunna crush this test yo" *next day* "wait, you have to STUDY also??" *fails hard*                   CIGS: teen takes up smoking to appear cooler to his peers "have you taken up smoking?" "yes, i have" "you appear cooler to me now"                   FASHION: as camouflage becomes more fashionable, teens become harder and harder to spot "shit where did Tim go?" "lol i'm right here dude!"                   BONDING: teen doesn't want to go to school "dad, it's just real fcking gay" "honestly son, you have a point" *father rolls fat ass blunt*                   WOAH: teen makes friends at new school "sup guys, my name's chad and i think beer is cool" *gets invited to every party in a 20 mile radius*                   FML: a white teen was seen crying at starbucks this morning after they got her order wrong "here is your mocha frappe" "YOU'RE*"                   TRILL SMITH: teen claims to be "too trill for homework" "you think ima need to know algebra when i'm a famous rapper?" "bitch swerve"                   UNEMPLOYED: teen gets turned down at local super market for putting "rolls hella dope blunts" on his resume "how is that not a good skill??"                   420: "son, can you look up how many grams are in an ounce?" "oh, it's 28" "why do you know that?" "because i love... the metric system" "oh"                   FML: a white teen was seen crying at starbucks this morning after they got her order wrong "here is your mocha frappe" "YOU'RE*"                   RAGE: teen plays Pokemon Gold *at pokecenter* *rapidly clicking A* *accidentally clicks A too much and the nurse starts talking again* NOOOO                   OBAMA CARES: teens have no idea "the government is gonna shut down!?" "yea something about a tea party" "wow politics is so gay"                   You can support the site by clicking an ad if it is relevant to your interests!                   KILLER KUSH: teens get high "bro i think i'm dead" "ur just freaking out" "i'm srs" *turns into ghost* "damn, that kush was dank" *hi fives*

THIRSTIEST TEXTS OF 2013

It's safe too say 2013 was a great year for sluts all across the planet, from Miley Cyrus twerking half naked every chance she got, too Justin Beiber having sex with any willing prostitute in South America. But one aspect of this overly sexual year that can't be overlooked is the thirsty text message, which can be defined as someone who desperate for a sexual partner and has no shame in showing that via phone messaging. So us at Teen News compiled a list of the 5 thirstiest text messages of  2013 for you to laugh, cringe, and lose faith in humanity with....your welcome.



1. The "Planning for the Future" Thirst


2.  The "Damn Bitch you got no Shame" Thirst


3. The "Holy Shit I'm Horny" Thirst


4. The "Obsessed After Our One Night Stand" Thirst


5. The "I'm a Shame to Feminists Everywhere" Thirst