THIRSTIEST TEXTS OF 2013 |teen news

BUSTED: a shirtless teen was seen smoking a cigarette while riding a longboard. Police arrested him for being "too cool" in a school zone SCIENCE PROJECT: "as you can see, the air flows through the water bec-" THIS IS A BONG "it's called a water pipe" GET OUT OF MY CLASSROOM ORATORY SKILLS: teen uses a classic tactic of rhetoric in a debate with his peer "you're gay" "no, YOU'RE gay" *teen stands in shock* OUCH: Teen 'eats shit' while attempting to longboard to class "ive been practicing all summer!" "fuck i ripped my favorite plaid shorts" ORATORY SKILLS: teen uses a classic tactic of rhetoric in a debate with his peer "you're gay" "no, YOU'RE gay" *teen stands in shock* STYLE: teen wears new scarf to school "what's that bro? a cum rag?" "nah, it's a pussy eating bib" *walks into girl's locker room* HOT: teens love sexting! 9:14 - i wanna sex u up 9:15 - wat u gna do 2 me? 9:15 - ima stick my penis in ur *goes on wikipedia* 9:24 - labia TRIPPY: teens drop acid for the first time "grasshoppers are the dubstep of nature" "holy shit bro that's so deep" "i'm a young socrates" SCIENCE PROJECT: "as you can see, the air flows through the water bec-" THIS IS A BONG "it's called a water pipe" GET OUT OF MY CLASSROOM PROGRESSIVE: teens talk car insurance "would you bang Flo?" "i'd let her suck my dick" "i'd be down for a-" *lowers shades* "flojob" *high5* PHILOSOPHICAL: teen speaks his mind "two wrongs don't make a right, but one bong makes it alright" "yo, one must first turn down to turn up" COLLEGE: teen takes Adderall to help his grades "i'm gunna crush this test yo" *next day* "wait, you have to STUDY also??" *fails hard* FANDANGO: 16 year olds try to see an R rated movie "i left my ID in-" *fake moustache falls off* "damnit" *sees grown ups 2* SENSUAL: teen sets up for a perfect date "candle lit dinner, bottle of red wine, and a copy of spy kids on blu ray" *gets 100 blowjobs* PHILOSOPHICAL: teen speaks his mind "two wrongs don't make a right, but one bong makes it alright" "yo, one must first turn down to turn up" PHILOSOPHICAL: teen speaks his mind "two wrongs don't make a right, but one bong makes it alright" "yo, one must first turn down to turn up" CRIMINAL: teen sent to a youth correctional facility for inappropriate internet usage "he used 8 hashtags" ...so? "on facebook" LOCK HIM UP WOW: teen forcibly removed from house by father after he claimed to "not like Justin Timberlake" "YOU WILL RESPECT JT'S TALENT IN THIS HOME" GRADES: Student receives an "F" on powerpoint presentation for using too many laser sounds in transitions "that sound effect is gangster af"

It's safe too say 2013 was a great year for sluts all across the planet, from Miley Cyrus twerking half naked every chance she got, too Justin Beiber having sex with any willing prostitute in South America. But one aspect of this overly sexual year that can't be overlooked is the thirsty text message, which can be defined as someone who desperate for a sexual partner and has no shame in showing that via phone messaging. So us at Teen News compiled a list of the 5 thirstiest text messages of 2013 for you to laugh, cringe, and lose faith in humanity with....your welcome.

1. The "Planning for the Future" Thirst