The teens invited their friend over for what he thought
would be a fun game of “Super Smash Brothers Melee”, but what actually went
down was much different.
The intervention started with questioning the teen’s
character choice in Super Smash Brothers. “Bowser dude? Are you kidding me?”
“But he’s strong as fuck!”
“No man, just no. Turn off the Gamecube”
*teen turns off Gamecube*
 |
| commit it to memory |
It was at this moment the teenage angst reached critical condition. “We need to have a discussion about your… habits”
The teen was confused at first, not able to handle his
friends’ harsh statements about his video game prowess. They took turns making
personal confessions:
“Remember that time you killed that guy in Halo?”
“How could I forget??”
“That was your only kill… Ever”
“That was your only kill… Ever”
“Yeah but I fucked that dude up”
“Lemme see your phone”
“Why?”
“Just fuckin give it to me!”
“Just fuckin give it to me!”
*takes phone*
“You still haven’t beat it yet? IT’S THE THIRD FUCKING
LEVEL OF ANGRY BIRDS”
“Whatever man it’s hard”
“I see you playin that shit all time man. Like, c’mon…
c’mon”
*teen breaks down
crying*
 |
| the game does get hard sometimes |
“I’ve been friends with you for a while man. You know
that”
“Of course”
“Grab this”
*hands him a Nintendo DS*
“What handheld gaming system is this?”
“Ummmmmm…”
“WHAT HANDHELD GAMING SYSTEM IS THIS?”
“I DON’T KNOW”
*boths teens embrace and begin to cry*
“Maybe I’m not the gamer I thought I was”
“The first step is admitting it dude. Here, take this game.
You can practice with it”
*hands him Mario Kart*
“This game rewards bad players. There’s no way you can
lose at single player mode”
“Thanks. You’re the best”
 |
| bullshit |
Before the intervention ended, the teen had one last
request.
“One last thing
bro… Toss me the sticks!”
*teen throws him a Gamecube controller*
“You ready for a round?”
*both teens smile*
“Let’s do this”
*picks Ganondorf*
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”
